Ask HN: Why are you a competitive person?

People who are competitive, what drives you really? Do you feel jealous when you see other people getting successful.

I have never been a competitive person and always cooperated with other people even at the expense of my own success, that's what I want to change that. Any suggestions?

There are various aphorisms such as ‘100-x % of everything is crap’ where x is a small number.

Look at it that way and there is plenty of room at the top and when you win it is not like you beat them but they beat themselves.

My current hustle is subartistic, namely three-sided cards that are carefully designed and printed and also have digital twins linked through QR codes and sometimes NFC.

I maintain a high production rate and also continuously improve quality, I want people to visit my world which is just a bit better than what they are used to. When I fall short I feed back what I learn to make the next one better. I rarely need post it notes, book marks, or the like because I take notes on reject cards that most people would think are perfectly fine.

I was a little infatuated with my fitness instructor who also runs a theatre troupe and she invited me to a play she was putting on, I went with my family and sister-in-law. It was awful, one of the actors didn’t even have a clean shirt.

She did the work to draw me in and I could have been an advocate in so many ways (already I bought 4 tickets to her show) but she blew it.

So for me being competitive is like that; I go to a a bad show and resolve I am not going to put on a bad show.

(I am not in "show biz" now but I feel like I compete on some level with every kind of visual art, imaging, entertainment, web service, etc. I look a book set in Palatino and see the serif on an "r" practically making love to the curve of the "s" next to it and think why can't I get my character spacing like that? Maybe two years out I want to do a comedy sketch with a video game character and it seems like an almost impossible mountain to climb but when I do it I want people to unambiguously think it was one of the best things they'd every seen.)

Competitiveness may be local/relative (against peers, a la climb the ladder) or global/absolute (against giants, a la advance humanity). In both cases, it is usually healthy at different stages of life if it acts as a nudge instead of an obsession. Obsessive competitiveness is too much too often a high risk / low reward game, but you only live once and then be it as you like: self-reflection and evaluation will however come, later.

People require affection for the complete development of their nervous system. But sometimes the caregivers can't provide sufficient levels for said healthy development, often leaving a permanent scar in these younglings, a developmental trauma. Such a person won't have a sufficiently developed internal sense of self-worth, self-love and will require more external supply of validation, affection. Succeeding in various endeavors becomes a "life-and-death" issue, because at it's core it's a reflection of the imperious need of a mammal for nurturing by their parents.

Often, siblings become competitive with each other for precisely this reason. They are competing for the little affection their caregiver provides.

I am not too competitive now but I was when I played soccer. I guess the with soccer the rules are set in place and the arena is standard. The aim is clear and you're there for one reason - to win.