Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#1

Post by disturbed » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:10 AM UTC

I was wondering if anyone else is in the state of constant anxiety, not only at work, but at home too. How do you cope?

Here are the several contributing factors in my case:

- feeling of incompetence at work - sole provider for the family. - lost the will to code (I try learning new things but give up after a few days). - I’m 43 and have not accomplished anything, not even financial security for my family. - too scared to change the job I hate (gambling industry, corporate JIRA sweatshop, for 13 years) because I’m incompetent. - social anxiety. - racing mind, incoherent thoughts.

Edit: so incompetent I don’t know how to create a bullet list here

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#2

Post by craigr1972 » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:34 AM UTC

I swim in cold water, every day if possible and ideally before work in the morning. This has been a game changer in terms of reducing anxiety, being much better able to cope with difficulties and frankly, making me into a much happier and healthier version of myself. So much so that if I don't get in the cold water for a day or two then I just feel like .. bleurgh. If you've read "Flowers for Algernon" and recall towards the end where (spoiler alert) the main character has come off the drug that makes him much more intelligent and crucially - he can't remember what it was that had happened to him, just that he had a sense of loss from no longer having some - that's what this is like. Can't recommend enough. I also use running for the same purpose, but cold water swimming in just a couple of minutes provides a tremendous dose of Also it seems to stop me catching colds.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#3

Post by skrebbel » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:35 AM UTC

> Edit: so incompetent I don’t know how to create a bullet list here

HN has nothing for that. Use multiple newlines like so:

- bla

- foo

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#4

Post by tomlockwood » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:39 AM UTC

I still get anxious sometimes, and the thing that helped most, back when I had to stop going to university because of anxiety, was therapy.

And what I got out of therapy was techniques to kind of step back when I feel anxious, and to realize that the problems I have cannot be solved now, when I am lying in bed at 3am. That every step towards a goal is progress, and that I wont die and lose everything because of one day where things don't go how I hoped. Anxiety makes all problems immediate and life destroying. Most problems aren't.

But, that recognition isn't always there for me. What made it mostly there for me was therapy.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#5

Post by not_smart » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:40 AM UTC

skrebbel wrote: post #3

> Edit: so incompetent I don’t know how to create a bullet list here HN has nothing for that. Use multiple newlines like so: - bla - foo

Oh ok thanks. I tried two spaces indentation but it shows in monospace font without wrapping (probably meant to be used for code)

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#6

Post by fros1y » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:43 AM UTC

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (or other treatment modalities) and, maybe, medication! This sounds like the desperation of anxiety and depression. But there is hope! Untreated, it can be a killer, so remember 1-800-273-TALK for moments of crisis.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#7

Post by ozmaverick72 » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:44 AM UTC

I feel exactly the same. Exercise helps. Psychologist helps a bit. Medication helps too. Talk to people. You might find that more people than you think feel similar.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#8

Post by not_smart » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:44 AM UTC

craigr1972 wrote: post #2

I swim in cold water, every day if possible and ideally before work in the morning. This has been a game changer in terms of reducing anxiety, being much better able to cope with difficulties and frankly, making me into a much happier and healthier version of myself. So much so that if I don't get in the cold water for a day or two then I just feel like .. bleurgh. If you've read "Flowers for Algernon" and recall tow…

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I have tried running but like everything else, I give up after a few days. And also when running my mind is still racing with me...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#9

Post by threeseed » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:45 AM UTC

1) Religiously exercise every single day ideally in the morning as it will set the tone for the rest of the day.

2) Make your diet clean and light. No soft drinks. No heavy carbs. Plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables etc.

3) Stop worrying about accomplishing anything. The point of life is to be happy and enjoy the journey not be in some race with others.

4) If you give up after a few days then just pick smaller things you can compete faster. And iterate between lots of different things to help reduce the chance of boredom.

5) If after all of that you still feel anxious then see a professional. Not just about medication but also how to program yourself to fall into less anxious patterns.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone else in constant anxiety and how do you cope?

#10

Post by East-Link » Sun, Nov 24, 2019, 11:46 AM UTC

craigr1972 wrote: post #2

I swim in cold water, every day if possible and ideally before work in the morning. This has been a game changer in terms of reducing anxiety, being much better able to cope with difficulties and frankly, making me into a much happier and healthier version of myself. So much so that if I don't get in the cold water for a day or two then I just feel like .. bleurgh. If you've read "Flowers for Algernon" and recall tow…

There's nowhere I could easily swim, would showering in cold water help?