Ask HN: I'm 23 and already feeling stuck in life

#1

Post by bigJavaLava » Tue, Oct 15, 2019, 12:23 PM UTC

Seeking advice from anyone who's beyond this stage and found a "solution. "

The following realizations have placed me in an emotional spiral.

1. My job is not a good fit for me. Been working here as a software engineer for 3 years and 90% of the time, I'm bored and uninspired. Part of the reason is that I prefer coding stuff for people and not for businesses. I think that if I start working for non-profits or B2C companies it might solve this issue.

2. I love making an impact and helping others, and I'm not doing that in any capacity. Again, my job involves business software, completely boring to me. And volunteering opportunities in my areas of interests (voter rights, race relations, modernization of civic government technology) seem more challenging to come by.

3. I don't understand passions. For awhile, I've been running a blog simply cause it got me extra money but not because I actually liked it. I recently decided to finally stop it and haven't found anything to fill the void. I got sucked into all the entrepreneur porn and turned every hobby and side project into something that'll make money. Well now all of that has back fired cause I'm left with nothing I truly want to do. Even thinking of doing a side project will leave me uncomfortable if I'm not monetizing it.

4. I just want to relax. I'm jealous of those people who are perfectly content with the daily routine of life. Why do I feel like I need to change something? Do something big? Build something to change society? Why can't I just live the typical life and accept that as success?

Re: Ask HN: I'm 23 and already feeling stuck in life

#2

Post by svavs » Tue, Oct 15, 2019, 12:54 PM UTC

I wish I could say I figured this out, but I haven't. While not exactly your same situation, most of those points hit home for me.

I think it's really good that you are realizing this now in your career, rather than toughing it out for a decade or more (like me).

Have you considered maybe software engineering isn't the right career for you? Perhaps you would find more meaning in another profession.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 23 and already feeling stuck in life

#3

Post by bigJavaLava » Tue, Oct 15, 2019, 1:05 PM UTC

svavs wrote: post #2

I wish I could say I figured this out, but I haven't. While not exactly your same situation, most of those points hit home for me. I think it's really good that you are realizing this now in your career, rather than toughing it out for a decade or more (like me). Have you considered maybe software engineering isn't the right career for you? Perhaps you would find more meaning in another profession.

> Have you considered maybe software engineering isn't the right career for you? Perhaps you would find more meaning in another profession.

I have started to think about that. The thing is, I genuinely do love working on fun side projects and coding. Just when it's something interesting or affects people or a cause.

Re: Ask HN: I'm 23 and already feeling stuck in life

#4

Post by throw51319 » Tue, Oct 15, 2019, 9:49 PM UTC

Not sure dude I'm 27 and in the same boat.

The relaxing part you can foster by meditating and getting outside of the evolutionary impulses to always achieve and do more and get more.

I think the solution is to realize that only you can unstuck yourself from life. Some people stagnate and then learn to like the stagnation (usually by picking up basic azz hobbies and buying new things for cheap thrills).

You can say f this, go for what you want and trying new things and take risks. If you fail (whatever that means) then you can go back to this rut but you know that you at least made an attempt to venture outside.