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Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

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Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#1

Post by throwaway196 »

I am 46 years old male and have been addicted to Porn for the last 15 years. I am married and wife does not know. I have not had sex for the past two years with her (or anyone). Seems like the only times I get turned on is when I am chatting with someone in IRC sex channels or when I am watching Porn.

I want to quit because it breaks me to see my wife think I do not desire her physically, because she is getting old. She is a lovely and beautiful woman.

I also want to quit because I find this addiction high, leaves a trace of depression behind.

If you did quit, how did you manage? Any help is appreciated.

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#3

Post by gigatexal »

This program might be sponsored by the Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (formerly, colloquially known s the Mormons) but they are very good about focusing on recovery and not conversion or preaching and there are meetings you can phone into or go to in person: https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/find-a-mee...

As someone who has dealt with the selfsame thing you are going through I found their program helpful in helping me get out of addiction (I wasn’t sure I wanted to share that but if it helps you out then it was worth it).

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#5

Post by derrick_jensen »

gigatexal wrote: post #3

This program might be sponsored by the Church or Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (formerly, colloquially known s the Mormons) but they are very good about focusing on recovery and not conversion or preaching and there are meetings you can phone into or go to in person: https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/find-a-mee... As someone who has dealt with the selfsame thing you are going through I found their…

I'm not a Mormon myself, but worked with a lot of organizations supported by the LDS church. It is probably the most clean and uncorrupted religious organization of its size, and they do forward a lot of money to useful organizations (Boy Scouts of America in my case).

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#6

Post by nutcracker46 »

Have a wank to your favorite porn, then just walk away from it. Delete your accounts, delete whatever stash you have, and walk away. You need other things in life to keep you occupied.

Get into having fun with your wife - see what gives you some schwing as much as porn. You can find similar goodies, just on a different scale.

One more suggestion is understand yourself better. What the fuck is it in your favorite porn that gets you off? Nine tenths of it is symbolic: what does the porn actually stand for to you? When you know what really makes you tick, how do you integrate or exclude that in life?

Lastly, there is a chance that you may be a total psychopathic degenerate. Be careful, as you could destroy your family or yourself...

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#7

Post by hirokib »

I have a professional answer that I can chat about in a different context if you want to message me. Personally for me it was realizing that I was using porn as means of getting dopamine when I was getting stressed out. After realizing this, it was a matter or recognizing this sensation and removing myself from my computer and phone for awhile. You'll end up going to the bathroom or taking walks very often at the beginning. Another thing to keep in mind is that the desire to masturbate can also come from needing to urinate.

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#9

Post by hitsurume »

The actor Terry Crews was also addicted to porn and he did some videos about quiting that you'll find online. Gist of it is figuring out your current habits and changing them. For example, he knew that he watched on Friday nights when the kids and wife were out for some activity, so he prevented himself from being home alone during that time and worked a system to control his addiction.

Re: Ask HN: I am addicted to Porn. Help me quit

#10

Post by dr_dshiv »

Here's a totally different approach, from Keeley Olivia. Not meant as a way to quit, but as a way to create spiritual meaning in the practice.

"Masturbation is the new Meditation" --> find her TED talk or YouTube channel. She has some specific recommendations for men.

Obviously, masturbation is perfectly normal and frankly, to be celebrated. Porn, on the other hand, is much more ethically questionable. Try to dissociate the two, so the one can be celebrated without shame -- emphasizing connection with your own body -- being mindful -- it can strengthen your sex life with your partner and improve your confidence/wellbeing

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