Ask HN: Please help me, I'm a bad developer

I got my degree in computer science about 1.5 years ago. I had and have problems finding and maintaining a job since then. I'm a frontend developer, and I think I have the necessary knowledge about web in general and practice in JS to be a junior developer at least. However it seems like I have two problems:

- I'm not good at understanding existing codebases. It is not that I can't fix a single bug or implement a new feature, it is just I'm slow. How can I improve this? I'm looking for something like a job simulation at home, like list of tasks to do in an existing codebase, with explanation or even guidance. I don't want to start another stupid practice project at home while I stress myself out about when will I find a job again.

- I have problems at paying attention in meetings. I struggled through the whole university too. I understood and learned almost everything at home for 5 years. Sometimes I even got asleep during important classes. I'm not talking about 1.5 hour long scrum groomings or reviews, sometimes I can't even pay attention during a 15 minute long standup in the morning. At my lost job they found it as a serious problem. Where to start?

Thank you!

You say you have trouble finding and maintaining a job. How many jobs have you had, how long has each one been and how did each one end?

You struggled through the university, but managed to get a degree in computer science. That's awesome. Now focus on training your focus. Attention is a complex neurological activity that's more than the sum of its parts. You must learn to take possession of your mind in a vivid manner of one out of many possible trains of thought.

Get enough sleep, exercise, read as much as you can on ADHD/ADD, listen to your body, and talk to a specialist. Focus on one thing - improving your focus and attention over time. Who you are and what you do is mostly the sum of what you focus on. Rapt attention is important to achieving your career goals. Take some time out to work on it. Finally, do try to be gentle on yourself.

Sounds like something for which you need professional assistance. Seek it.

I feel you, I couldn't stay awake during lectures and seminars even if it were for my life. Even in small seminars, sitting right next to the professor, i managed to fall asleep for a couple of minutes.

It still sometimes happens that I fall asleep during a meeting. Fact is, meetings ARE boring.

Medical Tests never came up with anything. One thing that did help me, though, was diet changes. Make sure your blood sugar levels remain stable, eat food that releases it's energy slowly and steadily, instead of roller-coaster like. Personally, intermittent fasting helped me getting over the food-coma and hangriness problems.

About the codebase problem, i guess it's just tough to be thrown into large codebases. It takes practice and experience, and it's not necessarily something that university teaches you. Thus, I wouldn't beat myself up over it. It comes with time.

From a practical standpoint, maybe try to find a job in a smaller company with smaller codebase? Or, try to find something where you are involved in starting a project from scratch ? Obviously that requires a bit of luck, but I'd say it's well worth a try.

And the better you get, the less forgiving people are about your small quirks (like, falling asleep in a meeting).

EDIT: more forgiving, that's what I meant ...