Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#1

Post by basdevries » Wed, Jul 12, 2017, 9:29 PM UTC

Related to this HN post on how to overcome instant gratification: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14751439

I find myself a lot of times that I go to bed 1 or 2 hours too late, get distracted a lot from work by all variations of bs (especially when working from home), and think that there should be easy steps to solve this problem.

Does the HN community feels the same way? I'm curious as to when it's particularly annoying/relevant. For instance sleep, studying, working, doing chores, etc. Let's discuss!

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#2

Post by livingparadox » Wed, Jul 12, 2017, 9:43 PM UTC

I experience self control issues on a fairly regular basis.

Computer, phone, daydreams, etc. I'm just recently keeping bad sleep habits at bay (usually, still occasionally let the lure of the shiny keep me up).

On a solution-level, I've found that exercise + proper rest tends to have the greatest singular impact on my self control. My willpower tends to scale with my energy-levels. In addition, adding little obstacles between you and the distraction (noprocrast setting on hackers news, forestry app for phone, etc) can often give me just enough time to pull myself back to important things.

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#3

Post by basdevries » Wed, Jul 12, 2017, 9:53 PM UTC

livingparadox wrote: post #2

I experience self control issues on a fairly regular basis. Computer, phone, daydreams, etc. I'm just recently keeping bad sleep habits at bay (usually, still occasionally let the lure of the shiny keep me up). On a solution-level, I've found that exercise + proper rest tends to have the greatest singular impact on my self control. My willpower tends to scale with my energy-levels. In addition, adding little obstacle…

What percentage of that is phone and computer related? If you were unable to visit particular sites (maybe during particular timeslots), how much would that solve the problem? What other things could solve the problem without changing your actual habit?

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#4

Post by bykovich2 » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 12:46 AM UTC

Do you feel passionate about what you do? Do you /like/ what you do? (Don't confuse those.) I constantly struggle with distraction at work -- and I'm becoming increasingly convinced that the problem is, at least in significant part, that I /just don't like it/.

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#5

Post by weishigoname » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 1:28 AM UTC

keep one habit all the time, and never try to change it, like do some running every morning, I think it can help you coming back very soon.

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#6

Post by brad0 » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 1:35 AM UTC

I find my self control issues all stem from not having a solid plan to do something.

I know that I could be doing things "better" but I don't have a strong enough emotional reason to.

I've found if you want to change something then you need to think of a concrete plan and attach emotion to it (good or bad).

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#7

Post by girvo » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 1:42 AM UTC

Used to be all the time, which is one of the factors that lead to my heroin addiction at the age of 16 until I was 22. Clean for five years now, and one of the key things for me has been cognitive behavioural therapy, along with having reasonably defined mid-term goals.

The other thing is not to beat myself up when I slip up; to use the "going to bed" example, if you miss your bedtime by 20 minutes and beat yourself up mentally, it's much easier to rationalise "may as well stay up another couple of hours, I've already ruined it".

Instead, let it go; this alone has helped me tremendously :)

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#8

Post by hugodahl » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 3:44 AM UTC

girvo wrote: post #7

Used to be all the time, which is one of the factors that lead to my heroin addiction at the age of 16 until I was 22. Clean for five years now, and one of the key things for me has been cognitive behavioural therapy, along with having reasonably defined mid-term goals. The other thing is not to beat myself up when I slip up; to use the "going to bed" example, if you miss your bedtime by 20 minutes and beat yourself…

Great advice on your point to not beat yourself up at slip ups. I was also advised to learn to forgive myself (it's seriously much more difficult than it sounds).

Also, major kudos on being clean for five years. While I can't relate to it, I can certainly appreciate the accomplishment that it is.

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#9

Post by hugodahl » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 3:44 AM UTC

girvo wrote: post #7

Used to be all the time, which is one of the factors that lead to my heroin addiction at the age of 16 until I was 22. Clean for five years now, and one of the key things for me has been cognitive behavioural therapy, along with having reasonably defined mid-term goals. The other thing is not to beat myself up when I slip up; to use the "going to bed" example, if you miss your bedtime by 20 minutes and beat yourself…

Great advice on your point to not beat yourself up at slip ups. I was also advised to learn to forgive myself (it's seriously much more difficult than it sounds).

Also, major kudos on being clean for five years. While I can't relate to it, I can certainly appreciate the accomplishment that it is.

Re: Ask HN: How often do you experience self-control issues?

#10

Post by hammock » Thu, Jul 13, 2017, 4:25 AM UTC

livingparadox wrote: post #2

I experience self control issues on a fairly regular basis. Computer, phone, daydreams, etc. I'm just recently keeping bad sleep habits at bay (usually, still occasionally let the lure of the shiny keep me up). On a solution-level, I've found that exercise + proper rest tends to have the greatest singular impact on my self control. My willpower tends to scale with my energy-levels. In addition, adding little obstacle…

In my experience using the blocking apps/obstacle method helps, but it will only help you not do those activities. It won't motivate you to do what you want to be doing. You will just find some other time wasting activity unless you attack, understand and reframe your desired activity