Ask HN: Retracting an offer for Co-Foundership

Hey guys, I could really use your advice. I worked with this guy for about six or eight months at my day job. Great guy, not a lot of experience coding but produced some solid work. We worked as a great team and I really liked his thinking.

I asked him if he wanted to join my startup and after a few weeks of great energy discussing it, he told me he'd like to be CTO. I really enjoyed working with him so I said we could see how it goes but if all goes well I would be happy to let him join me as a co-founder.

Shortly after this my dad got sick and I had to fly home to help my mom, he passed away but it took a month longer than anyone had expected. When I got back I thanked him for his patience and told him I'd thought everything and was willing to offer him 40%, with vested shares. We agreed to do up the contracts and things just started to get ugly.

I met his dad who offered to help us connect us to his network and began to notice some red flags. His dad dad had run a small business for years and was a pretty average small business man. He had invested in a startup his brother's company early and ruthlessly cut his brother out of it- and then hired a CEO that is super lazy and running the place into the ground just to make a dime. He truly believes that all businesses are this ruthless.

His dad sees dollar signs and short term profits. All they talk about is getting rich and they seem to have a really jaded, get rich quick attitude.

I just see a lot of red flags approaching, he talks more about his retirement than he does building the business. He's also thought of two other business ideas in the last two weeks.

I'd like to retract my offer. I'm not going to use any of his code or ideas. Other than an injured relationship what can I expect? Has anyone done this?

This happened to me with two different friends and two different startups.

Many people love the idea of a startup: getting rich, being a tech rock star, and retiring early. Most aren't willing to do what it actually takes to succeed: unpleasant work, long hours, and sometimes little pay off for a long time.

One of my co-founders thought that 'writing something off' meant we could spend money on whatever we wanted and the government would pay for it.

Another friend had me meet with his lawyer and wanted me to sign an agreement where anything I worked on outside of our business together was property of the business (I had 2 other successful companies already running and he knew it) but all of his current work was solely owned by him.

Before I had a chance to tell him 'fuck no', he flaked out and got a job. Since then, he's onto his 3rd startup job and I've been running my successful companies.

Luckily, both startups were in such early phases, I was able to get out early.

I learned the hard lesson that your co-worker or friend doesn't necessarily make a good co-founder. A very small percentage of people will be disciplined enough to see a company from start to success. There are also different stages of a company. In the beginning with no real roles defined, a person might be great. When you become an actual company with products, meetings, deadlines, and customers. That same person might not work out.

Choose your co-founder wisely or you will go through lots of pain and suffering. Don't partner with an 'ideas' person unless they are investing money or giving you important contacts into an industry. If not, it will be difficult to put them into a position later when the company gets to the next stage.