1–10 of 50 posts
Take that challenging job, get higher degree, start something of your own when you still have time and energy?
I am trying to make very important decision and need perspective from people who have been in the game many years more than me. Thanks!
You should lean toward jumping too quickly. Even if you make some small mistakes, be open-minded and willing to learn from them, and you'll be able to recover.
It takes many years of compounding a mistake before you're unable to recover. Career-wise, it probably can't happen until you're 45+ (due to age discrimination).
2. Whenever possible, take your career in a direction that allows you to be paid more for working fewer hours. This will pay off later in life when you have the money to travel or just want to see loved ones.
There are many ways to accomplish this. One of them is to ask for better-sounding titles, even if they don't come with more responsibility or pay. Another is to develop skills that are widely applicable, rather than highly specific. The worst thing you can do is to develop skills that are only applicable to your specific employer.
For example, I have a lawyer friend who worked on a lawsuit related to microprocessors. He did this for five years. When he wanted to move to a different firm, no one wanted to hire him because he only had experience with microprocessor litigation.
If you're starting out as a developer, try to work somewhere that uses modern, popular technology. Both of those are important: modern and popular. For example, a company that exclusively uses Haskell or Scala is probably not a great idea. You'd want to get experience at something like Python, C++, C#, Java, or JavaScript instead. (Note that the culture of companies that use Java extensively are often very poor, so make sure to read Glassdoor reviews or ask HN about the company).
3. Sleep. If you focus on doing one thing at a time, you'll be way more efficient than your peers, and you'll have time to sleep 8+ hours a night. Don't work at a company that expects you to sleep less than 6 hours a night and spend all your time at the office. They're living in the past and don't understand that overall output suffers when people don't get to rest.
4. Build and use your social network. Don't be afraid to ask friends, parents' friends, relatives, and strangers to help you. If you don't have many friends, go out of your way to make more.
My life is exponentially better because of only 2 friendships that I randomly made a few years ago. It's been literally like winning the lottery. But you have to meet a lot of people and make a lot of friends before you find those relationships.
5. Your career isn't and shouldn't be your life. If you can't have an interesting conversation with someone that doesn't mention your job, you're doing something wrong. Have hobbies and other interests.
In that same vein, ask yourself (or old people) what someone might regret toward the end of their lives. Absolutely no one will say "I wish I'd spent more time working". Virtually all of them will say "I wish I'd spent more time with my family/friends/pets/hobbies". If you don't believe me, go out and ask.
6. Leave your comfort zone whenever possible. The more you practice it, the better you'll get at it. Every amazing thing in life requires being vulnerable and leaving your comfort zone.
1. None of your decisions are important. I'm not saying that to belittle you. I'm saying it because you can worry yourself sick if you're afraid of doing the wrong thing. Life is a balance between "analysis paralysis" and jumping into things too quickly. You should lean toward jumping too quickly. Even if you make some small mistakes, be open-minded and willing to learn from them, and you'll be able to recover. It ta…
1. None of your decisions are important. I'm not saying that to belittle you. I'm saying it because you can worry yourself sick if you're afraid of doing the wrong thing. Life is a balance between "analysis paralysis" and jumping into things too quickly. You should lean toward jumping too quickly. Even if you make some small mistakes, be open-minded and willing to learn from them, and you'll be able to recover. It ta…
Some of your decisions are vitally important. That time you're going to get spring fever and go rock climbing without a rope? Yeah, that decision's going to matter. It's only by the grace of God that you're going to live through that one.
Most of your decisions aren't important. Some of your decisions are critical.
* Self-knowledge is the most powerful tool there is: What suits you, what doesn't; your strengths and weaknesses; your talents and blindspots; your limits; what you need, can tolerate and can't; what you love and hate; what makes you feel safe and strong and helps you thrive, and what leaves you traumatized. If you think you already know yourself, you almost certainly don't. You never fully know but you want to learn as much as you can (and in the process you'll learn to understand other people). It's the basis of every important decision you must make: Do I choose this career? Do I trust myself to take on the responsibility of this business, with all these people's fortunes and careers depending on me? Can I commit to love and care for this person for life? Is she/he right for me? Am I ready to put an infant human's life and development in my hands (and can I handle the work/life balance and pressure)? Many people make poor decisions about these issues - How can they make good ones if they don't know the key factor, themselves?
* The only way to develop that knowledge is to try and fail, and then to get up and try again (an essential skill in itself). You can't learn these things by just thinking about them; they aren't in a book. And now is your chance. Later when you have a career, a mortgage, business partners, employees and children depending on you, you can't take a big risk to just suit yourself. Also, I'm not just talking your career, but all aspects of your life: Relationships (especially relationships!), where you live, your lifestyle, etc. People playing it safe will question and criticize you (see below), but just smile and know you are moving ahead while in ten years they'll unfortunately realize they have learned little of life and themselves.
* Learn to ignore everyone's advice and criticism and to trust your own instinct and thoughts. Nobody else really understands you or your situation nearly well enough. They might have good ideas to consider, but you know best (which requires that self-knowledge). No matter what you do, people will criticize you. Even Steve Jobs was fired, Bill Gates reviled, and Martin Luther King was hated by many and polls show he was unpopular during the civil rights struggle; you could be President of the United States and people daily will call you an abject failure. And you will fail constantly, sometimes horribly, just like the rest of us, and while you are failing there will be no promise of success. Given that you will face criticism, questions, and failure no matter what, and that there is no promise of a good outcome anyway, at least do what you love and think is best, and enjoy the ride.
* Gather some data: Look at people at the other end of life, or ask them: What turned out to be important? My guess is most will answer, their family and personal relationships. Few people wish they had spent more time at work; many wish they had spent more with family. Finally, a good marriage is perhaps the most valuable thing in life but it takes far more than love and good will; it takes dedication, hard work, skill, and, as much as anything, self-knowledge.
I hope some of that is helpful!
EDIT: A minor edit or two
Never assume that those around you, even close friends or family members, care about your best interests or future. Chances are their actions are based on their own best interests, even when it involves you. There is a fair chance they are not even considering your future in any of their actions. This is not to say that you should not care about others, but that for many people, the only one looking out for you is yo…