Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#981

Post by markholmes » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 1:18 AM UTC

marcus_holmes wrote: post #663

thrownaway954 wrote: post #613

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"If you stay at Google, make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life. If I'd've stayed, I could have comfortably raised some kids with my wife by now - but that's still on the todo list." THIS all the way. When we are young, we think that we will be remembered by the company that we worked for and the people that we worked with. The sad truth is that in 99.9999% none of those people will rememb…

I was there. Now in my 50's with an amazing life. I'm grateful every day to my alcoholic, depressed 40-odd-year-old self who didn't kill himself. I could not have seen from there how happy I am now, and I could not have predicted the adventures I went (am going!) through to get here. Hang in there, buddy. Just keep breathing. It will change.

Happy to hear you're doing well. Coincidentally, you and I have very similar names.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#982

Post by kayla213jems » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 4:46 AM UTC

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Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#983

Post by linza » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 8:50 AM UTC

goatherders wrote: post #50

You don't realize how good you have it: 1. you work for a company that is an excellent resume booster outside of the valley. I'm from central texas and most everyone I know in tech has worked at Dell and once complained how boring it was to work at Dell. The moment they decided to move away from Austin their Dell experience made them very hot commodities to non-Austin tech companies. Every day you stay at Google the…

> 1. [...] Every day you stay at Google the more valuable you become.

I'd argue that posts like these decrease the value of Google engineers (and Dell engineers) in my eyes. Maybe that's too shallow though.

I'm involved in hiring a lot and interviewed potential candidates coming from Google and Amazon--none of them seemed like slackers, but also none of them were hired.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#984

Post by bergstromm466 » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 11:39 AM UTC

0x262d wrote: post #931

wpietri wrote: post #415

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess I've only lived in the bay area 20 years, but this strikes me as quite dramatic. I know literally dozens of men in tech happily raising families in the Bay Area. It's true the male/female ratios are worse (although we should certainly adjust for the large gay male population). But when I talk to friends who are dating, it's the women who seem to be struggling to find anybody decent, not the men. Perhaps the p…

The latent shallow male entitlement is gross. However, there is a valid point made that if all the single, unhappy men became cool and attractive, many would statistically still be out of luck. So my suggestion is that in addition to becoming interesting, learning about feminism, etc, they should also recognize the statistical disadvantage as the socioeconomic problem it is, and fight those broader socioeconomic cond…

"...there are two ways of making money. The first is what most of us do: work. That means tapping into our knowledge and know-how (our “human capital” in economic terms) to create something new, whether that’s a takeout app, a wedding cake, a stylish updo, or a perfectly poured pint. To work is to create. Ergo, to work is to create new wealth.

But there is also a second way to make money. That’s the rentier way: by leveraging control over something that already exists, such as land, knowledge, or money, to increase your wealth. You produce nothing, yet profit nonetheless. By definition, the rentier makes his living at others’ expense, using his power to claim economic benefit.

For those who know their history, the term “rentier” conjures associations with heirs to estates, such as the 19th century’s large class of useless rentiers, well-described by the French economist Thomas Piketty. These days, that class is making a comeback. (Ironically, however, conservative politicians adamantly defend the rentier’s right to lounge around, deeming inheritance tax to be the height of unfairness.) But there are also other ways of rent-seeking. From Wall Street to Silicon Valley, from big pharma to the lobby machines in Washington and Westminster, zoom in and you’ll see rentiers everywhere."

-

Ceptr.org - the most promising attempt I've seen who are trying to better make visible, and then democratize and distribute, the rents.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#985

Post by throw_this_one » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 3:45 PM UTC

o-__-o wrote: post #962

throw_this_one wrote: post #478

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah just having to be at my office for 9 hours makes me sleep worse, and drains your spice for life that you would normally be able to parlay into diving into your interests. Did you just quit and spend a year or whatever with your interests and thinking of business ideas?

I took a new job in a new city. Moving to the new city made me focus on my interests, I think after realizing that I could leave work at 4pm and head straight to the mountain made me realize I have control of my life. I spent 2-3 months exploring this, then ideas just sort of came out of the woodworks. Taking control of my life was instrumental to pursuing the business idea. I wouldn't have put up $30k before then, a…

So you went from a city city like NYC to a city closer to nature like Seattle? I find NYC constricting sometimes because you're always around people and products of people, never just out on a trail going for a run/bike/hike.

I am thinking that whatever it takes to rekindle that sense of agency, that's the way to go. Everyone had some sense of agency as a kid playing with legos, games, etc.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#986

Post by mk30 » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 6:01 PM UTC

phlakaton wrote: post #928

cantrevealname wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…

Here is my advice, as a married engineer, for those who are having difficulties in this area: 1. Your fatalistic attitude about m/f ratios (or whatever sexual orientation you fancy) is the least helpful and accurate response you could possibly have to dating travails. This is not a game. Nobody's keeping score. Statistics by itself won't land you the relationship you crave. 2. On the flip side, finding a relationship…

a great and detailed reply. really appreciate it <3

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#987

Post by mk30 » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 6:10 PM UTC

krageon wrote: post #712

glangdale wrote: post #692

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, first of all, lose that sense of entitlement. It's hard to think of much that's less appealing than petulance. It's also a pretty great way to blind yourself to what 'league' you're actually in. A number of my tech friends have wasted an extraordinary amount of time chasing women absurdly out of their league because they've been convinced that "having a decent job", "being well-spoken" and "eating with their mo…

> lose that sense of entitlement When you are told you need to meet specific criteria to achieve a goal, it's not entitlement to expect those criteria to lead to that goal. When trying to get people to listen to what you are saying, try not to start with a put-down.

friend, i'm afraid you've been lied to. it's not your fault. we've all absorbed loads of lies. when i was a teenager, i thought no guy would ever want to date me because i wasn't skinny or "pretty". a number of humiliating experiences drove that home. but over time, it turned out to not be the case at all. i had to revise my understanding. and i had to not give up or get grumpy about it.

the good news is now that you know that you've been sold some bad goods, you can start to figure out what the real story is. and only good things can come from that :} there is some great advice in this thread, especially this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21977225

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#988

Post by segfault42 » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 6:16 PM UTC

NeverFade wrote: post #366

cantrevealname wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…

> But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful, male SWE in the Bay Area making $120K+ a year in his 20s or 30s, who should be a magnet for women, turns out to be living in one of worst places because of male-female ratios among singles (and some other cultural factors). Yes, it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women, so women have their pick, and they can afford to raise th…

Galaxy brain: maybe the same qualities that make a guy more valuable in the professional marketplace and qualify them to be VCs and CEOs instead of entry level SWEs (interpersonal skills, superior judgement, long-range vision, managerial skills, identifying win-win solutions and building consensus for them, etc) also make them better romantic partners. So the salary is a correlation with an underlying shared root cause, not a direct causation.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#989

Post by zelly » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 6:32 PM UTC

segfault42 wrote: post #988

NeverFade wrote: post #366

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful, male SWE in the Bay Area making $120K+ a year in his 20s or 30s, who should be a magnet for women, turns out to be living in one of worst places because of male-female ratios among singles (and some other cultural factors). Yes, it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women, so women have their pick, and they can afford to raise th…

Galaxy brain: maybe the same qualities that make a guy more valuable in the professional marketplace and qualify them to be VCs and CEOs instead of entry level SWEs (interpersonal skills, superior judgement, long-range vision, managerial skills, identifying win-win solutions and building consensus for them, etc) also make them better romantic partners. So the salary is a correlation with an underlying shared root cau…

Not that I disagree (what you said is almost certainly true) but it's funny how both sides can unite on this Randian take. Horseshoe theory.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#990

Post by zelly » Wed, Jan 08, 2020, 6:40 PM UTC

NeverFade wrote: post #366

cantrevealname wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…

> But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful, male SWE in the Bay Area making $120K+ a year in his 20s or 30s, who should be a magnet for women, turns out to be living in one of worst places because of male-female ratios among singles (and some other cultural factors). Yes, it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women, so women have their pick, and they can afford to raise th…

Idk, $120k is still a lot. You are still begging the question that money even matters. There's an elephant in the room:

Basically men have vastly overestimated the importance of wealth.

A chart of the importance of wealth would drop off a cliff as you go from third-world conditions to a non-starvation civilization. Then it approaches zero as you get to NYC/SF where literally everyone is rich or else they wouldn't be living there. Guys who get mail order brides are basically arbitraging this (probably temporary) geographical difference in the importance of wealth.