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Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

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Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#911

Post by veggieburglar »

uwuhn wrote: post #895
svincel wrote: post #889

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The parent commenter doesn't realize just how large of an advantage this is. There's lots of empirical evidence demonstrating that height is one of the strongest preferences women have for men. I have personally made fake dating profiles with the same pictures/bio, but different heights here in the Bay Area. The 5'6 profile did not get a single like in a week. The 6'4 profile had inbound interest from a wide variety…

Right. I don't know why pointing this out without whining or complaining about it seems to make people upset. I'm not tall or white, so it's not like I'm bragging. I'm also not trying to use it as an excuse, or to bring others down for having to try less. It just is what it is.

No doubt, and I definitely can’t speak to how it is to date as a short/nonwhite guy other than what I know from my friends. My comments are more directed towards the economic side of this discussion, which started to veer into the “women are all gold diggers” incel-type territory that I’m beginning to hear more often. In my opinion and experience, nothing repels positive relationships like that kind of mindset. Anyway, that’s why I mentioned my salary, which is practically a joke compared to the kinds of numbers people are talking about here.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#912

Post by selimthegrim »

mattigames wrote: post #632
NeverFade wrote: post #586

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I personally moved to locations that don't have 50%+ more single men than women. That seemed to have made me a lot more, uhm, "interesting".

Any pointers to a list of those locations?

Come to New Orleans. The city will probably be more interesting than you and you'll be forced to compete.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#913

Post by NeverFade »

homonculus1 wrote: post #855
SamPatt wrote: post #697

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The book "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley goes into depth about how men and women choose their mates, based largely on evolutionary biology. People treat it like a character flaw for a woman to choose a man based on wealth and status, but why? A woman committing to a relationship likely means pregnancy and that requires resources and protection for years and years. That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of year…

You're right, but the flip side is that men are actively shamed for pursuing their own evolutionary incentives. There are two layers of competition going on, the sexual-economic one and the fluffy interpersonal one, but some people gain leverage by maintaining the fiction that one of them is obsolete. This fiction is enforced by calling everyone who notices it a misogynist or an incel.

Indeed. I don't fault women for preferring wealthy and successful men. I don't fault men for preferring young, beautiful women.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#914

Post by NeverFade »

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #617
NeverFade wrote: post #366

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful, male SWE in the Bay Area making $120K+ a year in his 20s or 30s, who should be a magnet for women, turns out to be living in one of worst places because of male-female ratios among singles (and some other cultural factors). Yes, it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women, so women have their pick, and they can afford to raise th…

> it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women I’m in Manhattan. The single sex ratio is reversed. (More single women than men.) Male FAANG employee rants about how they should be magnets for women, but can’t find a date because something is wrong with all women, are equally prevalent here. They’re all (a) the same rant and (b) as boring as the last one. There’s a selection effect among well-paid…

Thank you for your anecdote. I'm sure as soon as enough Bay area engineers read it, thousands of women will materialize out of thin air to compensate for the fact that there are 55-65% more men than women in counties like Santa Clara and Marin.

While I don't doubt that some guys have trouble in more favorable conditions, nothing will change the mathematical reality that even if every single man in the Bay found his perfect match, 40% of them would remain single because there are simply not enough women for all the men in the area.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#915

Post by NeverFade »

SamPatt wrote: post #697
username90 wrote: post #538

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women find men with more money to be more attractive. It isn't the only factor, but it is a significant factor like for example height. > "A man can move himself two points higher on the attractiveness scale we used if his salary increases by a factor of 10," study author John Speakman told The Times. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-...

The book "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley goes into depth about how men and women choose their mates, based largely on evolutionary biology. People treat it like a character flaw for a woman to choose a man based on wealth and status, but why? A woman committing to a relationship likely means pregnancy and that requires resources and protection for years and years. That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of year…

> That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of years.

Try "millions" :)

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#916

Post by ubertoop »

sfblah wrote: post #371
ubertoop wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're downplaying something here. You got hired as a manger, so at the very least, you must have had a pretty prosperous and impressive background as an engineer for some time. You might be cruising now, but snapshots of one's life are hardly the full story.

Oh sure that’s definitely true. I have a strong resume. At some point I just stopped having to do any work, and instead of trying to “fix” it I just went along with it. Another key element is there’s no way I’ll ever get promoted. I decided I don’t care. The difference between making 500 and 800 or whatever is sort of meaningless after taxes.

I'd love to be in that position. I have a strong resume too, and I'm more than ready to be rewarded for it with a high paying job which I can more or less cruise in. So count your blessings!

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#917

Post by lame88 »

bdowling wrote: post #831
lame88 wrote: post #502

Earlier quoted context omitted.

...are probably working in a particle acceleration lab or something. I know the quote.

> I know the quote. The quote is from “Howl” by Allen Ginsburg, a poem about burnout (among other things). That’s applicable to a report of people working a 9-9-6 schedule, a recipe for burnout.

I'm speaking specifically to this quote which seems to have drawn from it and hardly seems separable in this case. “The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads.” As if the FAANG-type companies are somehow the centerpieces of modern intellectual activity, which is such a tech industry thing to assume.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#919

Post by nugari »

glangdale wrote: post #494
cantrevealname wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…

I like how a guy earning a fairly unremarkable-when-we-adjust-for-cost-of-living salary with a bunch of fairly unimpressive table-stakes credentials: "clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful" (whaddaya want? a cookie?) is meant to be a Amazing Pussy Magnet. One of the major factors - aside from the gender ratio - behind tech guys not finding partners is this weird expectation that if they shave, clip their f…

thank you for this comment. I've been in the Bay Area for about a year, and it pretty much encompasses all my dating experience here
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