Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#901

Post by throaway5544333 » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 11:51 PM UTC

thrownaway954 wrote: post #613

md5wasp wrote: post #162

Hi there, I did the exact same thing as you (at Google Sydney), before eventually deciding that I must strike out into the wilderness. In the few years since I left; I worked as a solutions architect managing a team, a team lead, a remote dev, and now in a startup. Front-end, back-end, flip-side, all the ends. So I've been deliberately trying different angles of my career to see what suits. I'd describe this process…

"If you stay at Google, make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life. If I'd've stayed, I could have comfortably raised some kids with my wife by now - but that's still on the todo list." THIS all the way. When we are young, we think that we will be remembered by the company that we worked for and the people that we worked with. The sad truth is that in 99.9999% none of those people will rememb…

Hey, I've been in a same situation except that my problem was not alcoholism but an addiction to painkillers and then opiates. Lost pretty much everything due to the complete disaster I became. I was a security engineer back then and you can guess that my responsibilities didn't play nice with drug addiction.

The latter arose from my chronic depression and the lack of ability to create any long-term social relationships which are not based on professional interaction. I have never had friends outside of "workplace buddies" mindset for all my 33 years of life. They were lost instantly when I left the job. I've managed to find a way in remote consulting which lets me pay the bills and have some food (I quitted drugs cold turkey two years ago). But nothing hits you harder than a feeling that it's all over and you are tamed with your loneliness, the only thing that is left is your aging you don't want to face.

I can give no word of advice to you, but I want to say that I feel you. You are strong, don't let 'em get you this easy.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#902

Post by taurath » Mon, Jan 06, 2020, 11:51 PM UTC

tommit wrote: post #672

joelbluminator wrote: post #610

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are looking at the elite of the elites. How many developers work for google in silicon valley? I am sure there are developers in Ohaio that get paid non stellar salaries, also have a mortgage and by the time they are 45 they worry about the future a lot. On Average yes the German developer makes less but probably has better job security , work life balance etc. You make it out as if American developers live a str…

I agree. Clearly, not every dev in the US works for Apple or Google. Plus, simply comparing the raw income is flawed as well. I agree with your assumption that overall, German developers have better job security and most definitely the work life balance aspect. I'm a developer myself and I don't know anyone around me who regularly does more than a 40h week. This is excluding those that have started their own company…

I never understood how a developer making 40-60k euros could survive in a big city like Berlin, until I visited. People are complaining rightly about increasing rent prices, but they're still extremely reasonable, at $1100 a month. Groceries are /dead cheap/ compared to the US (-30% to -40%), and the food quality in grocery stores is frequently quite better.

You get 6 weeks of vacation, and don't have to worry about going to the doctor.

Compare that the the US, where you can be earning nearly 200k, get a few weeks vacation, save some money but everything feels temporary. Go to the doctor too much? You're let go for not meeting deliverables. Need more time on vacation? No. Don't have time to enjoy living where you're living because you're at work dawn to dusk? Well thats the price of not having to worry about rent.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#903

Post by lhridley » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 12:17 AM UTC

cantrevealname wrote: post #358

md5wasp wrote: post #162

Hi there, I did the exact same thing as you (at Google Sydney), before eventually deciding that I must strike out into the wilderness. In the few years since I left; I worked as a solutions architect managing a team, a team lead, a remote dev, and now in a startup. Front-end, back-end, flip-side, all the ends. So I've been deliberately trying different angles of my career to see what suits. I'd describe this process…

> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…

Really?

My advice, stay in the Bay Area until you get your head screwed on straight.

If you think you are a "magnet for women" that very attitude repels any woman with enough self-respect to see through the bravado.

Concentrate on liking yourself enough that being single doesn't bother you and next thing you know....bam....there she'll be.

Or not, in which case like the person you see in the mirror each morning. Get there and the rest is easy.

Sincerely,

Single by choice (Female) Software Development Manager in the Southeast US.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#904

Post by grepory » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:00 AM UTC

wmil wrote: post #866

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #617

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women I’m in Manhattan. The single sex ratio is reversed. (More single women than men.) Male FAANG employee rants about how they should be magnets for women, but can’t find a date because something is wrong with all women, are equally prevalent here. They’re all (a) the same rant and (b) as boring as the last one. There’s a selection effect among well-paid…

> That or these jobs turn interesting people into those who believe they should be magnets for the opposite sex, which tends to be a turn-off for most people. Tech selects for people who are object focussed as opposed to people focussed. Most women prefer to date men who are good at wooing and entertaining them. Which means more people focussed than object focussed. The tech men are frustrated because they are basica…

Don Quixote appears from behind the curtain up stage left--his left arm confidently and lustily on his right hip, right arm arcing gracefully over his head like half a rainbow.

There's so much going on in this response, but my favorite parts, in order of appearance:

> The tech men are frustrated because they are basically their best selves

The tech men are frustrated because of entitlement. Handed everything on a silver platter hand-delivered to them by a person of color driving a rented Toyota Prius for half of their monthly income.

> This is probably going to sound incredibly cynical, but the best advice I've heard for NYC techies is to try to date ballerinas.

Leave my goddamn ballerinas alone.

> But they retire before 30 and have to decide to either start a family or open a studio to start teaching.

Most of the people I dance with are software engineers of one kind or another. San Francisco may be somewhat unique in that regard--I wouldn't know, but most of the dancers I know both professional and retired are insanely enterprising and know how to hustle better than most of the people I know in tech.

> At that point most of the men they know are married or gay.

Most of the men I know that dance both professionally and at an amateur level do not identify as gay--some have families--with other dancers.

> So likely to be more willing to overlook the social weaknesses of tech men.

Nope. It's _impossible_ to overlook the social weaknesses of tech men.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#905

Post by compiler-guy » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:02 AM UTC

grogenaut wrote: post #101

compiler-guy wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One promotion means he is L4 minimum, which is now the level which Google no longer requires you to move up. As long as he is getting "meets expectations" with the occasional "exceeds" every three cycles or so, he will be able to coast at the big G for a long time.

Sure but how do you do that without becoming depressed or very angry? I know a few people who can.

I was responding to the idea that he couldn't coast very long without losing his job. He can without too much trouble.

Whether or not he finds meaning that way is a different question.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#906

Post by dev-ns8 » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:06 AM UTC

JohnBooty wrote: post #497

chii wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> fostering the web tracking industry because consumers don't want to pay for anything. It's easier to extract private data, and sell that to a corporation for a lot of money, than to extract a small premium from each user (which is like squeezing blood from stone).

Yep. This battle was lost way, way back in the 90s when we collectively decided that everything on the Internet should be free. I think it's one of the great lost opportunities in human history. I don't know what the "correct" course of action would have been, instead of making everything ad-supported and mostly terrible. Some kind of very very seamless micropayments? Maybe there was no "correct choice." Maybe "free,…

I think you could argue that this very battle was lost far before the 90s... Advertisers and marketers have been exploiting and targeting the mediums in which most consumers paid their attention too long before the Internet was around. Inevitably the Internet was going to have ads seep in because it garnered the majority of consumer attention

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#907

Post by VRay » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:08 AM UTC

taurath wrote: post #900

docspace wrote: post #846

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Current Google-ish company person here, and this can be just as dangerous as it is beneficial. I was on this team, more than once, where I’m complacent and no one is asking for more from me... so I started helping. I thought I was moving towards leadership because I was identifying and solving the right problems for others. I felt successful. None of this work contributed to my career path, although it was developmen…

2 problems that can cause that, the first of which is by far more common: 1. You haven't developed the skillset to both track and evangelize your impact. 2. The company's review process doesn't properly value out-of-band contributions I find that when I really look into it, #2 is actually rarely a problem if you are good at #1. As I've worked on getting better at #1 I've found I'm far more comfortable at work, it hel…

You guys should quit wasting your time on this BigCo BS and do something that will actually benefit your real career.

http://paulgraham.com/lesson.html

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#908

Post by ClumsyPilot » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:13 AM UTC

read_if_gay_ wrote: post #719

scottishfiction wrote: post #640

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Speaking of fallacies, how about the one where parenthood increases your risk of underperformance 'exponentially', or is in any way a 'risk factor'. Check your bias. Parenthood is as likely to make you better at your job.

And how about the strawman? GP didn’t argue that parenthood may make OP lose his job, but that he already is in a position where he might lose his job due to underperforming previously. And if that happens, he’s unquestionably better off without kids.

Is he really in any risk of losing his job? I do not see how either your or OP came to conclusion.

I have met people who were under impression they were performing poorly, but actually they were doing great work. They just were disinterested in the job, which is a different issue.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#909

Post by Aeolun » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 1:20 AM UTC

burntoutfire wrote: post #687

tuananh wrote: post #531

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> and the knowledge that my CEO is making at most 4 or 5 times as much as me. why do you prefer that? just curious

The salaries of CEOs of European corporations are nowhere near as extravagant as in the US, but still they're closer to 25-50x salary of a senior dev (quick googling returned salaries for European CEOs in the $3-6m range)

Depends on the size of company you are working for. I know for certain that most I’ve worked for didn’t have the budget to pay millions in salary to the CEO.

Though I guess the same limit would have applied in the US, I think the way people look at it is different.

Re: Ask HN: I've been slacking off at Google for 6 years. How can I stop this?

#910

Post by longtimegoogler » Tue, Jan 07, 2020, 2:46 AM UTC

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #482

longtimegoogler wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think it depends on where you are in Google as in what team/org. I haven't seen much of what this original poster describes on the teams I have worked on. My limited anecdotal experience, however, is that people work less at the European offices than in the US.

Interesting. Ime, euro Googlers tend to be somewhat more productive. They may put in fewer hours but they seem to be more focused.

I would probably agree on that. My limited experience is that the European teams and engineers are very productive.

Maybe Europe gets better engineers there because of less options.