91–100 of 136 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
And sometimes heavy involvement with a Therapist later as an adult.
It’s a lot better to be wealthy and pay a few grand a year for therapy than to be always broke and unemployed.
Parents should encourage, not force imho.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I disagree with you on the general but agree on the specific here. I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry
Johnny, your Algorithms 360 professor is telling me you're falling behind, but I see you're studying nothing but Databases 413, in which you had 97% in the midterm. Maybe we have to reprioritize your focus. Sigh, you know, it's the same old story like back in kindergarten.
The more important thing is what does he like? I agree with the top comment though that on some level, he is an adult now and your ability to direct his life is more diminished now.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
He takes specifications from the customers and brings them down to software engineers. He is a people person!
Why can’t the customers hand the specs direct to the software people?
Few degrees are vocational but my feeling from your post is that you think it's a waste to study something don't plan on doing for the rest of your life. Kids don't see it that way. They see something they have a faint interest in, or something they're good at, not a 40 year career at the end of it.
It might be worth a discussion with your son, but it won't go well if you make it about what you want or what you think they should want. Manage your own expectations. Try and be conscious that parenting transference ("my parents always want me to do the best I could") or overcompensation ("my parents couldn't afford me these opportunities") are both as harmful as each other. Kids are generally good. Don't be afraid to trust their judgement.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I disagree with you on the general but agree on the specific here. I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry
> I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry OP is talking about a full grown adult. Not a child.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why can’t the customers hand the specs direct to the software people?
Because there is an inevitable translation step between "customer wants X" and "engineers have to build Y to achieve X". This takes time and is a non-trivial task. I'm an engineer myself and I'm glad there are people between me and the customers. They're there to shield engineers from unnecessary tasks and scope creep. They are the necessary abstraction layer between engineering and business.
They probably wouldn't need a secretary though heh.
You're probably right. I never went to college but I started learning how to code in my late 20s because I could finally afford a used computer by then (late 1980s). It tore me up to go to friends homes and see a Mac or Commodore 64 sitting on a desk collecting dust. When I got my first used computer in the early 90s, (a Commodore 64) I dove into learning how to program. Back then I didn't know anyone who knew how co…
Personally what I like is solving business problems and delivering excellent solutions to happy customers. Coding is a means to an end for me. I originally learned to code as a teenager in order to build websites in an attempt to make money from them (with some success here and there). It wasn't because coding itself was particularly intriguing or fun, but it was a pathway to building a product that could generate income. I didn't hate it either, I found/find it somewhat fun, but there are many more things I would prefer to spend time on if my goal is pure recreation. The idea that I could sit at home with a keyboard and generate wealth for myself was what encouraged me to pursue this career.
Right now, if I didn't have customers or start ups to launch I would spend precisely zero time "tinkering" about with code for personal fun, the fun part for me is designing, delivering and selling the solution. I'm not obsessed with coding for the sake of the technology like a lot of people are, yet I love my "job" and I'm highly motivated and effective at what I do.
College is the best time in his life to socialize and build relationships that last a lifetime. Let him do his thing. If his grades are fine why are you worried? For a fresh out of college grad new hire/interview they're going to care much more about grades and school prestige than hobbies or side projects. At least for the major FAANG companies. Something like "deans list BS computer science from Berkeley" or "maste…
The only red flag here is you. If your son is in college, he is likely to be at least 18 and therefore an adult in most countries. He is responsible for his own decisions, and is also the one to suffer the consequences. If he was studying accounting would you worry if he wasn't having fun doing people's taxes at night? If he was studying chemistry would you worry if he didn't have a mad scientists lab going on? Let y…