91–100 of 767 posts
This is above HN's paygrade. International Suicide Crisis Hotline directory: https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines If you are posting this kind of message on HN then you're at a point that you can call for a 1-1 chat. There are people who can listen. Don't rely on social media to do this.
You get out of the world what you bring into it. The lie that success is based on luck or starting point or whatever is not helpful. Everyone can start over.
Two suggestions:
- Ensure you are physically active, even a little bit. This does not mean "lift heavy" or "be a bodybuilder," it just means "maybe do a few pushups or park a little further away from the grocery store."
- Spend some time around people who are worse off than you. For me, this has really provided context for how much of a gift this life is.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I second that, I would suggest move to a larger city and get a job and therapist there (looks like the OP is from Germany, which I would personally prefer to US). And regarding to life goals, wife and kids in particular, although I have decided not to have a family, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I think there are many single mothers out there who would appreciate a stable and solid partner with 2nd inco…
One thing to note is that while Germany is much better if you need social services, it's much easier to move between classes in the US. It's very hard to move up in German society without the right social circles which are also much more exclusive than in the US or London. That said, while therapy is one thing(and very hard to find someone that actually helps you out of your misery instead of reinforcing it), I'd may…
When I lived in the UK they wouldn’t offer me even a waiting list
I wish you good luck.
You say: >> I know the best of my life is behind me, but I need help salvaging what's left of it.
You really don't know if this is correct - you don't know what's in future for you, without that you cannot say the best of life is behind. Drop that thought and seek help.
This is above HN's paygrade. International Suicide Crisis Hotline directory: https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines If you are posting this kind of message on HN then you're at a point that you can call for a 1-1 chat. There are people who can listen. Don't rely on social media to do this.
You need to see a therapist. Your problem is largely on your outlook on where you are in life. This is not meant to be a buck up or shut up comment, it's just that you can't improve your life until you change your outlook on things. You won't be able to move forward on things until you confront your feelings and accept your position to move out of it. To answer your question, yes. My 30's were a mess with a divorce,…
How do u find a therapist? I’m a bit weary to discuss super personal things with someone I don’t know even if they’re a professional. How can I find someone I trust and is actually good? Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue. My work offers a mental health service but I’ve looked at their TOS and no thanks. Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would…
You need to see a therapist. Your problem is largely on your outlook on where you are in life. This is not meant to be a buck up or shut up comment, it's just that you can't improve your life until you change your outlook on things. You won't be able to move forward on things until you confront your feelings and accept your position to move out of it. To answer your question, yes. My 30's were a mess with a divorce,…
How do u find a therapist? I’m a bit weary to discuss super personal things with someone I don’t know even if they’re a professional. How can I find someone I trust and is actually good? Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue. My work offers a mental health service but I’ve looked at their TOS and no thanks. Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would…
In reality, you don't really know the kind of people you'd trust to talk to in the first place, you don't really have an informed opinion. Just jump in feet-first, don't think about. You just need someone to talk to ASAP and any decent therapist is your first step. Just try it, there's nothing to lose whatsoever.
You need to see a therapist. Your problem is largely on your outlook on where you are in life. This is not meant to be a buck up or shut up comment, it's just that you can't improve your life until you change your outlook on things. You won't be able to move forward on things until you confront your feelings and accept your position to move out of it. To answer your question, yes. My 30's were a mess with a divorce,…
Unfortunately finding a therapist in Germany is near impossible even in a big city, I’ve been on the waiting list for almost a year now with no sign of end and I live in Hamburg which is one of the richest cities in Germany
You may not be envied, but there's nothing wrong with not having a wife and kids. I'm a bit older, had a relationship/marriage for 23 years, with a child, but we divorced. Online dating was depressing for me, so I live alone now (although I do frequently see my daughter), and I'm in peace with that. Currently worried about my elderly mother, though.
You haven't "thrown away your life", that's American movie bullshit. Get a job, feed and clothe yourself and enjoy the simple things in life.
You are in Germany, is this correct?
(if not, and if you have the possibility [from your username], actually consider moving back there as access to free mental health care is much easier)
Germany has Krankenkassa-covered access to therapy, and even Krankenkassa-covered clinics specializing in recovery from depression and other conditions - many times no pills, multimodal talk and art therapy approaches.
See any registered family doctor / Hausarzt ASAP: speak about your symptoms and ask about your options. If you are an EU citizen and already living in Germany, you will be covered by the European Health Insurance Card.
If you don't speak German, there are several 'tricks' to make the system work for you nevertheless ;)
PS: Resort only to *licensed*, accredited professionals - accept only what's paid by the Krankenkassa, as they have made the due-diligence. You shouldn't have to pay (almost) anything yourself!
Finally, very important: Make sure you only engage with professionals YOU FEEL comfortable with. The German system allows you to try out a number of different therapists before committing to one - ask the doctor who will prescribe the psychotherapy how this works, or your Krankenkassa directly.