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Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

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Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#91

Post by m463 »

gautamcgoel wrote: post #78
irvingprime wrote: post #72

What's it like to be old? My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all. People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want. My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding r…

Can you please expand on that advice? What should we be paying attention to?

be conscious.

be mindful.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#92

Post by noodlesUK »

tobib wrote: post #8
jelliclesfarm wrote: post #3

I think growing old in 1900 is diff from growing old in 2020. I don’t think these are experiences that translate well over time and place. ‘What advice would I give my younger self’ also doesn’t compute. Because that would mean that I would end up with entirely different life experience and the person giving the advice would not exist as they would have changed. In sci fi, this would be the classic causal loop/tempor…

Does anyone know how to learn more about one's DNA for the purpose OP suggested, in a way that respects privacy?

“In a way that respects privacy” is very difficult. There are companies (Dante Labs for instance), which will do comprehensive genetic testing (full genome sequencing), but privacy is complex. Once the data exists, it’s very hard to un-exist it.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#93

Post by jedberg »

eludwig wrote: post #21

Physically, my best advice is to take good care of your back and your teeth. These 2 things can make a huge quality of life difference once you are past 40. I would also add your eyes, but there is not a lot you can do about that one! Almost everyone needs reading glasses by 40. Glasses suck, but you get used to it. Psychologically, the best I can say is to forgive yourself for any stupid things you did when you were…

My eye doctor told me something very useful about 20 years ago, when I was in my early 20s.

He told me not to wear my glasses unless I had a headache. He said that your eye has muscles and they need workouts like the rest of your body. So I basically never wore them.

I was just on the cusp of needing a prescription back then. He gave me glasses because insurance covered it so why not he said. But then gave me the advice above.

I’m 43 now and can see just fine without glasses. My prescription has been stable for 20 years.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#94

Post by [deleted] »

somberi wrote: post #58

I am 47. This Buddhist quote captures the rapidity of life - "Days are long; Decades are short". Be kind. Really try to be kind. As young person, I am sure you already can recollect a few instances you have been kind; increase the frequency and amplitude of it.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#95

Post by thih9 »

edjrage wrote: post #44
rcar1046 wrote: post #31

Be in service to someone or something without expecting anything in return. For me it is my dog.

Unless you don't like your dog, this ironically just sounds like an excuse for caring about no one but yourself.

I don't understand. Could you elaborate?

How I see it, taking care of a pet usually requires lots of effort and selflessness. You need to make sacrifices and stay consistent. E.g. with a dog, sometimes you have to go for a walk even if you'd prefer to stay at home and watch TV. All this seems to me the opposite of taking care about only yourself.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#96

Post by null_deref »

Lendal wrote: post #83

I remember when I was a teenager and wondering what life would be like at 50. Now I know. You feel exactly the same, only with less time left. You're still you. You still feel the same. You still want to experience all the same things and achieve. But now with less time, you have to start triaging some goals and face reality. I remember thinking I have all the time in the world. Now I don't. So I guess that's the mai…

Oh man, I never want to lose my mom

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#97

Post by m463 »

kondu wrote: post #37
Smaug123 wrote: post #25

This is not my advice - I'm 26 - but was given to me at school by a now-retired teacher I greatly respect. It sounds quite wise, and I trust the source. I paraphrase: "Learn to classify people into three categories: givers, sharers, and takers. Surround yourself with givers. Sharers are also acceptable. Cut out the takers as quickly as you can." A verbatim follow-on quote: "Takers make a beeline for givers. The needy…

This I'm sure resonates with a lot of people, but unfortunately it's sometimes hard to cut out the takers: when they're part of your close friend circle or worse, your family.

It's taken me a long time to craft workable boundaries when you get into the giver - taker situation with someone who is family.

I was having trouble with this once and a wiser friend told me it's perfectly acceptable to say "I've decided x".

So I tried it out, and it seems to work. Some people are much more talented at the right level of response.

Oh, and also: https://xkcd.com/2346/

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#98

Post by m463 »

xupybd wrote: post #86

My father is 64. He has just been given months to live. He will be the second in my family to die from lung disease caused by smoking. My advice for any young person, don't smoke it'll rob you of years of life.

I saw some folks years later from my home town and some of them looked older, and they seemed to be smokers.

(My sample size is kind of small, and for all I know they had a different lifestyle or were out in the sun more)

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#100

Post by m463 »

dctoedt wrote: post #81
techbio wrote: post #6

This reminds me of the time I interviewed for a developer job at a young startup (college dropouts and just-grads), and the interviewer asked me, age 26, "what is like to be so old?" Given time, you'll see.

I distinctly remember, at age 19, not being able to imagine what it would be like to be old — like, 25.

My elementary school teachers were real old women. Like 20.
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