It’s a continuous effort in paying attention to my mood, physical exercise, good sleep, journaling, meditation, a healthy diet, and quality time with friends. And even with all of that sometimes things break down. I’ve written a post about my habits here, perhaps someone might find it helpful.
Ask HN: How is your mental health?
91–100 of 162 posts
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#92I have social anxiety disorder. My mental health has gotten worse since starting a new job with 100% pairing. I don't want to pair every day and I try to bring up that I would like to pair less but it does no good. I say hey I would like to pair less and the response is always "how can we make pairing better"? No one cares that I actually don't want to pair. I have gone from having panic attacks once every few months…
It's possible you didn't find the right kind of therapist. My first therapist made me hate therapy and I felt exactly as you did, like they were paid to care but didn't actually. My next therapist was very matter of fact and his style worked with my way of thinking well - the illness in question was a problem with moving parts that he helped me to identify and fix rather than emotional issue. I can't say that you need the same things as me but I hope you find might find the time and head space to try again.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#93I started a new job in January and although it was all right at first, it wasn't until long when my boss and I started being at odds with one another. As early as three months in he said multiple times that I "should know how to X by know" and later on said that I "hadn't improved since I started." I dreaded going into work everyday, primarily because of him. I started looking for a new job six months in and I'm stil…
I don't know you at all; so I'm going to give you a piece of advice that helped me when I was a young sysadmin, and I'm going to hope it applies. If you join an established company, in the beginning at the very least; that company has the responsibility to give you focus and training on the requisites. The only times this doesn't apply is when you are a senior, joining management, or creating a new team entirely. If…
I'll add to this from my experience in the Army because they really grok this concept. If my platoon sergeant overheard me telling a private, "you don't know X and Y," he'd dismiss that private, and he'd be demanding to know why I hadn't trained and mentored that soldier and what my plan was to fix the situation.
A good supervisor may often start by giving you a broad or vague objective, "I'd like you to understand X and Y," but if you don't get there, your supervisor's responsibility is to figure out why and develop a plan of action.
> ... that company has the responsibility to give you focus and training on the requisites.
There are specific business reasons behind this: they need to maintain a team of people who are delivering enough value that the company can fulfill promises it makes to shareholders.
> The blame is never on the IC, unless they're not trying.
In the private sector, this is true, the IC won't get blamed. They'll get fired, and the supervisor will get blamed, but that doesn't help you much.
To make it work, the junior IC needs to build confidence in his managers that he's able to produce at the team's level. And you can take action, probably as simply as saying, "let's make some kind of agreement here that has specific deliverables."
To work out a plan, it helps to consider what they're looking for with stuff like "you should know how to X by now."
Contrary to popular belief, technical work is not a meritocracy, it's a mediocracy. If you're much better than everyone else, you can't share your work, and if you're far behind, you're not able to contribute. Having a bunch of people on the same "level" enables throwing more bodies at a problem.
> Never feel ashamed for not knowing something...
I'll add another thing to not be ashamed about, which is not being good enough to stay on a team. Even if it's theoretically possible for anyone to learn anything, time and expertise in teaching are scarce, so "train person A" has to be compared to "replace with person B."
Another military anecdote: I signed up as a cavalry scout, and learned to my dismay that I have no sense of direction. I managed to get by and finish my enlistment, but it was enough of an impediment that I'd never make rank.
It may be fucking soul-crushing, but it's not shameful if you give it your best. Work out a plan to get yourself to where you need to be, but account for the fact that failure is always an option. Prepare to take ownership of it, to candidly reassess your strengths and weakness and be ready to drive on. And be glad you didn't sign up for a goddamned five year enlistment.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#94IDK if this is a "mental" health issue, but my caffeine consumption is not helping my problems but I don't feel like myself on "slow days".
Otherwise fine. I guess I could use more/better relationships but am working on it. Occasionally there'll be a 8 or 12 hour stretch that is barely tolerable, but I tell myself everything shall pass and then it does, so.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#95> How and how well do you keep track of your mental health Mentally. Not very well. This is an area in need of improvement for me. I'm mid-30s and mental health is getting to be pretty important as of late. > , particularly for those with a history of mental health issues, and those with a family history of mental issues. TBQH I think that means everyone . I live in America. In America, mental health takes a backseat…
It sounds like therapy would be helpful for you. It's highly unlikely they will think your "rights need to be taken away" unless they think someone is going to get physically hurt.
If you can afford it, many therapists accept cash only and in that case, they don't have to diagnose you with anything since they aren't reporting to insurance. You also don't need to go to any therapist that isn't right for you.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#96I have social anxiety disorder. My mental health has gotten worse since starting a new job with 100% pairing. I don't want to pair every day and I try to bring up that I would like to pair less but it does no good. I say hey I would like to pair less and the response is always "how can we make pairing better"? No one cares that I actually don't want to pair. I have gone from having panic attacks once every few months…
It's possible you didn't find the right kind of therapist. My first therapist made me hate therapy and I felt exactly as you did, like they were paid to care but didn't actually. My next therapist was very matter of fact and his style worked with my way of thinking well - the illness in question was a problem with moving parts that he helped me to identify and fix rather than emotional issue. I can't say that you nee…
Thanks I appreciate it.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#97Earlier quoted context omitted.
15 minutes is a really long time to meditate. Anyone who's new to it, I suggest starting with 30 seconds and work your way up to 15 in increments of 30 seconds to a minute. It's like starting with an empty bar when weightlifting.
Meditating in the shower is pretty easy IMHO and you can easily go up to 15 min, even for beginners. Meditation is mostly about anchoring your mind to something, most people do it with their breathing because that's what we see in movies and stuff. In the shower, you can use the sound of the water or the feeling of the water on your head to anchor your mind. Since it's something you don't control and there are multip…
15 minutes is a lot of water usage. Bathtubs seem ideal to meditate in.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#98Use the following strategies: 1. Meditate daily for 15 minutes. Try vedic indian meditations. 2. Keep track of your mood using some app. 3. If your mood is bad for consistently 3 days, then open pastebin and write down about everything you are feeling and going in your head. Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you br…
I think it's important to distinguish between "mental health issues" and a "healthy mental space". These are things you can do it maintain a healthy mental space, but people with mental health issues probably _can't_ start meditating daily for 15 min, or journaling, or exercising, or any number of other things that are helpful.
Which really just means "do these things if you're struggling" is skipping the hardest step, and not very useful.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#99Doing better. I gave up on my job a month ago. Not sure what I’m going to do now.
Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?
#100Use the following strategies: 1. Meditate daily for 15 minutes. Try vedic indian meditations. 2. Keep track of your mood using some app. 3. If your mood is bad for consistently 3 days, then open pastebin and write down about everything you are feeling and going in your head. Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you br…
Every single meditation expert I know has given a warning with it. For some people, even 5 minutes is harsh. I've been in groups where people just break down and cry at that point.
One meditation coach once told me a story of one of his clients who did a 20 minute guided session, and he went out of it with vomiting, diarrhea, and was really angry at the guy. But a few days later, he felt something clear up and asked for more sessions. He says it's normal, and with corporate counseling, he normally restricts them to 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15, 20, 30 for a week each.