i'm not ok too. been 3 months I can't sleep well. Only few hours.. had been thinking ways to die.. easiest way, fastest way.. painless ways.. 3 months ago i was out of a relationship that hits me so hard..she was the love of my life.. i was ready for everything. i lost everything.. i'm not ok..
Ask HN: Are you ok?
891–898 of 898 posts
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#892No and yes. Recently an HR person contacted me offering a position. She said she'd appreciate any feedback. I replied honestly that I'm 38, has been doing automation for 20 yrs, moved to another city and experience an existential crisis, suffering from loneliness and alcohol and drug abuse. I also added that IT industry is a terrible thing as well as capitalism in general. She never replied.
On the other hand, she helped me to spell out what my problem actually was and I realized that I was just trying to escape the relationship with the woman I truly love because of some stereotypes. And thus I decided to go back to where I came from.
Am I ok? Still not. That'll be a challenge but that's definitely better than before.
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#893Earlier quoted context omitted.
I recently took a week in the Carolinas and Tennessee. After twenty years in the Bay Area the difference in the presence of young women everywhere was so remarkable that my wife remarked on it and asked if the place was heavily skewed female. The Bay Area is hell for straight men dating. If I ever ended up single again I would move.
East Coast is much more heavily skewed female than the West Coast. It's something I'm definitely thinking about as I'm having the same issues in LA (though it's better than how I've heard SF is).
Well, the areas we were in weren't actually skewed female. They were just not crazily skewed male.
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#894Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I hate the mild feeling of discomfort I get when I tell most people I'm a software engineer. When I lived in Waterloo, everyone was a software person or related so it wasn't a problem. But I moved to a small city where almost everyone is a factory worker of some sort for farming or auto industries. When someone asks and I say I'm a software engineer, it usually stops there. Or they'll say something along the lines…
I have a question that is tangentially related to the point you were making, but it's been bugging me lately, so here goes. Everybody says 'the robots are destroying jobs' but the unemployment rate (in the US at least) is very low right now. If AI is taking all the jobs, how is the unemployment rate so low and the economy booming? The possibilities I can think of: - AI is creating jobs at the same rate it automates t…
In my specific industry we are replacing thousands of open positions nobody wants to do. Customers struggle to hire enough workers for us to ever be replacing humans. Walking around picking merchandise all day is a pretty inhuman career.
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#895I am doing ok. Thanks for asking. I am working in my first "hard tech" job after graduating from the help desk. I am also working in my first real job. I am in my late 40's. I am a Unix sysadmin for a fortune 10 company. I have some old debts that I am slowly paying off. They are from years of bad jobs and bad decisions. I am working on getting a better job, migrating into development. My first HN comment. I hope I d…
Good luck, sounds like everything's falling into place!
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#896Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think honesty is always the best solution. Have a talk with your boss and discuss the current situation and how it is not managable. Work out a solution in the short term. What happens next is that your boss will totally not stick up to his end of the agreement, because he will assume you will fix it anyways. But then you stick to yours and let things burn. Then he gets the hard lesson, and you can put the fault in…
Thanks, I've made a note on my phone which reads 'Let things burn', to review frequently. My employer refuses to set up an on-call rotation, probably to save money, but they will and frequently do call you 24/7 expect you to work immediately, for no additional compensation. This after a week of constant task switching plus a 3 hour total daily commute is just too much to sustain. I still need to figure out how to dea…
Working in the weekend without pay seems like a problem of your employer and not you. By asking "can you work in the weekend because blabla" he puts that problem onto you. The trick is to point the problem back to him. For example you can say "seems like you need to hire another person, is that planned already?". Or "You need to put a better planning in order" etc.
Try to get concrete plans and dates out of him, and then use that as excuse to not do things "we agreed you would hire someone else at x, you didn't do that, and now I have plans for the weekend. Better make work of that soon!"
He will always try to find excuses, but try to steer the problem to him. Because in the end, it is a failing on his side that you need to work in the weekend, make it very clear it's his fuckup, and if he doesn't fix it soon, it will be him in shit and not you anymore.
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#897Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't think you can extrapolate the whole tech profession from one man's unhealthy outlook. Why we work and why we mate are all part of our survival, and that's what generates these thoughts. If I don't explain thoughts I've had and transcended in the past, that are tied to work and survival, what use is the conversation, am I shamed for sharing another aspect? or is it just too loosely related in your view.
I have no idea what you are trying to say. But I will say this: stop blaming women for your shortcomings.
Yes this is excellent advice
Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?
#898Earlier quoted context omitted.
What will you do next? You can be rid of all these problems if you start raising chickens in the woods and selling eggs and poultry.
How much acreage would I need for that? Serious question.
I think a chicken run & coop is like 100 square feet total for a half a dozen chickens. Not sure though, I'm still just a development director. :)