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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#871

Post by sethlivingston »

DoofusOfDeath wrote: post #705
stevage wrote: post #501

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always heard this with a lawyer at the end.

The joke's context is Genesis chapters 1-2, so it wouldn't make sense to include a lawyer. Satan only shows up in chapter 3.

I wish I could give this joke a trophy.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#872

Post by dragontamer »

Once upon a time, Jesus and the Devil got into a computer contest, to see who was better with computers.

At the declared time, the two beings open up spreadsheets, web-browsers, programming code, and all sorts of documents. As time wound down, it looked like the Devil was slightly superior at multitasking and was about to win the contest. Suddenly, the power goes out... and the Devil loses all of his work.

The Devil turns his computer back on, while sad about losing his work, he thinks he can still prove himself the better computer user. But as Jesus turns his computer back on, all of his work pops back up, and Jesus ultimately finishes the contest first.

----------

The Devil is perplexed. How did Jesus recover from the power-outage so quickly? So he asks and Jesus responds: "Because Jesus Saves".

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#874

Post by w0mbat »

berkes wrote: post #860
w0mbat wrote: post #795

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You haven’t wired it properly. If there is no constant power wire just run one from the battery.

I have it wired like this deliberately. As I pointed out, some pieces and parts keep using electricity. Amongst which is the radio. This will drain the battery. Slowly, but surely. If I don't use the car in 14 days, it (probably) won't start; but with this wiring it does, just fine. Which is why I installed a [don't know the english word]¹, so that my battery is switched off entirely. Everything in the car is fine wi…

A car stereo is supposed to have two +12V input wires and one ground wire.

The yellow wire is named "constant" or "battery". The red wire is named "accessory" or "switched". The black wire is ground.

When the car is turned off, the red wire drops to 0V and the radio turns off. The yellow wire is supposed to remain at 12V to maintain memory state.

The yellow wire draws a very low amperage, and would take years to drain the battery.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#875

Post by lostlogin »

dorgo wrote: post #855
lostlogin wrote: post #381

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane…

Wasn't it: Let's close [all] windows and open it/them again and try anew?

I’ve also heard “shall we all get out then get back in and see if it works?”

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#876

Post by userulluipeste »

YeGoblynQueenne wrote: post #790
golergka wrote: post #638

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Finally, a recursion joke that is not about infinite recursion!

Well, strictly speaking it is. There is no terminating condition- the OP simply chose to return at an arbitrary point in the recursion.

I thought it stopped due to exhausting the bar's stock, which conveniently was limited to only three drinks.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#879

Post by hzhou321 »

mistersquid wrote: post #146

One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…

Meanwhile, no effort is made on either side to make progress. It is not a joke about software programmer or project manager, it is about self-centered irresponsible people.
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