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Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

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Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#861

Post by sirmarksalot »

cloogshicer wrote: post #205
thyrox wrote: post #83

Worrying and arguing about things in the future. I wasted so much time and energy on this but as I get older I've realised there is so little of what we can actually control vs what we think we can do. Most of the time just saying Yes and waiting for things to actually happen is so much easier. A lot of time what you worry about never happens and if it does it isn't always as bad as you make things out to be in your…

I feel this strongly, but it's very hard for me to stop worrying anyways. Any specific tips?

People see something like this and say "wow, isn't doing anything for me, how can I get rid of it?" and it becomes a sort of self-gaslighting. You're worrying about the future because it serves a function, or has served a function in the past. Find out what it's doing for you, and figure out something else you can do instead. Or maybe come to the conclusion that it actually is helping you, and accept that part of yourself.

Maybe you can acknowledge your worry, and rather than ruminating on it and letting it eat at you, you can come up with a plan to deal with the thing that's worrying you. Maybe that plan is to wait until it specifically requires your action, and give yourself permission to not worry about it for now.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#862

Post by stevenhuang »

jaqalopes wrote: post #298
KVFinn wrote: post #2

You aren't supposed to rinse your mouth with water after brushing your teeth. You're supposed to spit excess, but leave the toothpaste on to absorb.

This is one where I KNOW I do it wrong. The dentist prescribed me a hardcore sensitivity toothpaste for an issue, but emphasized that it will only work if I don't rinse after brushing. But... I just can't not rinse after 30 years of muscle memory. I generally remember this right as I'm rinsing. The sensitivity toothpaste has not worked, of course.

What I find helps is to rinse my tongue (run the bristles over my tongue under water, but just the tongue). Then at least most of the toothpaste residue sticks to my mouth and teeth but not the taste.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#863

Post by the_doctah »

015a wrote: post #710
achenatx wrote: post #578

Ive modestly tried to lose weight my whole life. Ive never been fat, but still had to work to keep my calories low. Im 5' 9", and it took 10 years to go from 170 to more like 160. Losing weight made me weaker and caused me to lose muscle. Ive recently started weightlifting for strength (low reps high weights) and the mindset is totally different. With weightlifting to keep your lifts going up you have to eat more. On…

Any advice/links on getting started lifting?

Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe is what you will see recommended the most often

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#864

Post by wingworks »

throw1234651234 wrote: post #3
KVFinn wrote: post #2

You aren't supposed to rinse your mouth with water after brushing your teeth. You're supposed to spit excess, but leave the toothpaste on to absorb.

Or rinse and use mouthwash with fluoride and leave that. Brush from top to bottom, not side to side. "Scrape" your tooth when flossing. Seems like way too many never learn these basics.

I blame movies. Nearly every brushing scene has the actor scrub brushing like it's nobodies business.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#865

Post by BrandoElFollito »

lucb1e wrote: post #503
Dowwie wrote: post #293

One of the worst thing I did for many decades was drink bottled water and/or tap water. For many years I bought bottled water for home consumption. I eventually learned about under-sink reverse-osmosis water filtration systems and invested in one. For the last ~15 years, I've used such systems, following scheduled filter replacements. The water tastes and feels better than bottled water. Last year, my county water ut…

Add country and region for regional advice please. In the Netherlands and afaik all surrounding countries, this is definitely not necessary. Drink tap water all you want.

I live in France where tap water is considered good and very tightly controlled.

You cannot go wrong with tap water.

Now, there is the matter of taste. My tap water is ok, some are much better. I drink from a Brita pitcher (the one with overpriced filters) and the taste is noticeably better.

But again it is just the taste. The safety of tap water is a given here (town halls have to post results from water tests that are done on a regular basis).

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#866

Post by BrandoElFollito »

jcpst wrote: post #611

I used to always stand up to wipe. At one point in my adult life, there was a conversation and I realized everyone else does not do this. Then I tried wiping while sitting down. So much easier.

It must be cultural. We never stand up to wipe in France.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#867

Post by CadmiumYellow »

RGamma wrote: post #801
makach wrote: post #142

It was when I was younger, I was independent and living alone that I realized that I had the power to change myself. In order to succeed there was only one person responsible for my happiness and good fortune, myself. I had to stop waiting for good things to happen, and make sure that I took faith in my own hands. This has led me to change employment, often, but not that often. It has made me approach many challenges…

Ech.. the "everything's your fault" view is typically American, but it's also pretty unbalanced. Sure you have to do things, yet interdependence exists. Also there's plenty situations where shit's stacked against you by heritage/law/social order quite unnecessarily.

It's not that "everything's your fault" though. It's that improving your life is your own responsibility, regardless of whose fault your circumstances are, because nobody else cares as much about your life as you do. It's not a statement about avoiding interdependence, it's about the fact that sitting around waiting for circumstances to change or for someone else to help you is not a practical way to improve your life because most of the time nothing will happen. I think of this is a variation on the serenity prayer, which is the single best piece of advice in the English language in my opinion: {insert higher power here} grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. AA is full of clichés because they're true.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#868

Post by barking_biscuit »

jmcmaster wrote: post #438
rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

ADHD weaker object permanence means that lots of people need to see their stuff to keep it in mind. “Hiding stuff” is problematic (and so is clutter).

Can confirm. My wife still "hides" my stuff all the time, but she's gotten better at leaving it alone, and some stuff in the bathroom I had to very explicitly spell out that it needs to be exactly where it is and it needs to always be visible. We definitely compromise a lot, but I'm glad she tries to work with me on it.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#869

Post by aussieshibe »

lumb63 wrote: post #760
f3b5 wrote: post #725

Not waking up earlier to the fact that the meat section in the supermarket is a product of systemic, gruesome torture of intelligent beings. Like probably many of you who read this, I usually felt a bit guilty when I was confronted with the ugly facts we are all vaguely familiar with. I justified my meat consumption with specieist arguments (humans are so much better than pigs, cows, etc). My wife challenged me to wa…

My stock response to assertions that eating meat is cruel: plants feel too. Many species are self-aware every bit as much as animals are. It’s only because wheat and corn don’t have big googly eyes that we feel no sympathy for them. Implicit in the act of consumption is the notion that our lives are worth more than the lives of whatever we eat.

> Many species are self-aware every bit as much as animals are

Do you have any sources you could share which support this claim? A cursory search has turned up nothing approaching convincing evidence.

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