831–840 of 1001 posts
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“The best minds of my generation...”
...are probably working in a particle acceleration lab or something. I know the quote.
The quote is from “Howl” by Allen Ginsburg, a poem about burnout (among other things). That’s applicable to a report of people working a 9-9-6 schedule, a recipe for burnout.
You remind me myself a few years ago: a talented, but bored slacker who didn't see any point in investing any energy into that project. Turns out I was right: the project didn't go anywhere after I left and investing any extra time would be a clueless thing to do. So what's changed since then? Have I found meaning in work? No! I've become a professional slacker who knows all these psychological tricks, knows what bod…
Imagine the hellscape we'd live in if everyone followed this advice. Sociopathy doesn't scale very well.
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Can you elaborate on the observed personality thing? How do you do this?
E.g.: I'm a jeans & t-shirt kinda guy. However, I now dress a little more formally (business casual) because it leads to better outcomes. I've not gotten around to wearing suits even though that would be even better. A little more strategic: I usually wear at least one item of clothing with my employer's logo visible on it. (Gives off a "corporate citizen" vibe.) A far cry from the recent past when I'd carry a laptop…
The danger with suits is that we're at a point in society where wearing a suit conveys an image of helplessness, not power.
Nowadays, people mostly wear suits when they're throwing themselves at another person's mercy. Wearing a suit means you're on your way to a court appearance or a job interview, not that you're some powerful executive. At every company I've ever worked for, the only times I've seen our executives wear suits has been when they were on their way to or from a meeting with investors or potential investors (and honestly, asking investors for money is basically another kind of job interview). Even at my current company, which is fairly conservative, every time I pass one of our C-levels in the hallway, they're almost never wearing a suit. I'm more likely to see the CEO in a sweater, really.
An article on the subject: https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/9/30/20869237/suits-contr...
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> But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respectful, male SWE in the Bay Area making $120K+ a year in his 20s or 30s, who should be a magnet for women, turns out to be living in one of worst places because of male-female ratios among singles (and some other cultural factors). Yes, it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women, so women have their pick, and they can afford to raise th…
> it's quite simple: there are many more men in the Bay than women I’m in Manhattan. The single sex ratio is reversed. (More single women than men.) Male FAANG employee rants about how they should be magnets for women, but can’t find a date because something is wrong with all women, are equally prevalent here. They’re all (a) the same rant and (b) as boring as the last one. There’s a selection effect among well-paid…
Chances are those women are all having casual sex with a smaller number of attractive/high status males. Those lonely men typically want to "date", while the women - if the man isn't high status, wealthy, AND displaying the mental fitness which is counter-indicated by these 'rants' - would much rather sleep around with men who are far more attractive than them (or, younger!) but never have a real relationship.
Hi there, I did the exact same thing as you (at Google Sydney), before eventually deciding that I must strike out into the wilderness. In the few years since I left; I worked as a solutions architect managing a team, a team lead, a remote dev, and now in a startup. Front-end, back-end, flip-side, all the ends. So I've been deliberately trying different angles of my career to see what suits. I'd describe this process…
> make the most of it by progressing deliberately in your social life Ironically the Bay Area is among the worst places on Earth for improving your social life if you're straight and male. I noticed that you don't live in the Bay Area, you're married, you probably meant a much broader meaning of "social life", so your experiences are likely very different. But the typical clean cut, well-spoken, hard working, respect…
I and the vast majority of my friends grew up in the Bay Area. The vast majority of those I went to college with (and studied CS or EE or whatever) ended up working in the Bay Area. Almost all of them have girlfriends/fiancees/are married.
None of them are CEOs of hot startups lol. None of them are unnaturally attractive either. Just regular ole average programmers. :)
I dunno what's going on but I will take the circlejerk with a giant mountain of salt lol.
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What do you personally do to be interesting?
Accept that you are the way you are and like the things you like. When people talk about what they like, engage with them. Be a human being. From experience, this will already put you so far outside of the usual spectrum of what people meet that this is more than enough. There's a nice side-effect that you don't need to feel like you need to "do things" to be interesting, which really isn't a healthy stance to have t…
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> lose that sense of entitlement When you are told you need to meet specific criteria to achieve a goal, it's not entitlement to expect those criteria to lead to that goal. When trying to get people to listen to what you are saying, try not to start with a put-down.
Who on earth (in USA I should say) actually listens to their parents in this matter?
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Maybe. If they were better at fishing than anyone else.
If hundreds of supermodels are competing for your attention, I'm sure many of them would become amazing at fishing, modern dancing, pottery-making, or whatever other random skill you find attractive.