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Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#81

Post by g4zj »

jimberlage wrote: post #79
g4zj wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> PM breaks down tasks with such granularity that it’s like they’re programming the people doing the work. They learn a programming language through a bootcamp and start doing some tickets themselves, and now you have a key product person who is likely to leave for a developer job. I haven't run into this scenario, but I have encountered project managers who want to read the code and advise on that level, which I don…

Thanks for the response! One thing that may help - dealing with impoliteness is an expectation of a __people__ management role, but not an expectation I would have of project or product managers. If you’re consistently seeing PM burnout, it will only hurt your position to defend it by appealing to the manager name in their job title.

Excellent point, and I agree entirely.

My experience is generally in environments where project managers are expected to also manage the people working on the project, at least to some extent, and so I didn't think to make this important distinction.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#82

Post by gtirloni »

g4zj wrote: post #80
gtirloni wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave Isn't that what OP is doing to coworkers?

Nope. I only expect that my coworkers and I come to agreements on how we will function as a team (read: establish roles and processes) and then make a reasonable effort to stick to what is agreed upon, while discussing any emerging need for changes along the way. These agreements should take everyone's individuality into account to find a balance or compromise in terms of personal preference and overall comfort (not…

I'm not saying that what you're doing is right or wrong. Apart from minor details, I think you are right.

I'm just pointing out the obvious: we are all telling others how to behave to a certain extent.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#83

Post by calamari4065 »

gtirloni wrote: post #70
calamari4065 wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Incorrect. Demanding that autistic people change their entire personality to match your expected social norms is toxic and abusive behavior. I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave. Why your opinion of "correct" behavior is the only possible valid option. People like you have this assumption that autistic people somehow owe you. That you expect them to go thro…

> I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave Isn't that what OP is doing to coworkers?

There's a subtle difference. OP is saying "I'm disabled and I can't/need help to do X"

The response is "disabled people don't need accommodation, you should just act like you're not disabled no matter the personal cost"

The difference is between asking for help and setting boundaries for what you can tolerate, and telling someone else they're a bad person for being disabled.

One is reasonable, if annoying. The other is a direct attack on an individual.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#84

Post by gtirloni »

calamari4065 wrote: post #83
gtirloni wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave Isn't that what OP is doing to coworkers?

There's a subtle difference. OP is saying "I'm disabled and I can't/need help to do X" The response is "disabled people don't need accommodation, you should just act like you're not disabled no matter the personal cost" The difference is between asking for help and setting boundaries for what you can tolerate, and telling someone else they're a bad person for being disabled. One is reasonable, if annoying. The other…

Are you sure you want to use terms like disabled and attack to have a productive discussion about this?

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#85

Post by rendall »

happytiger wrote: post #62
rendall wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you hold daily standup or scrum?

I’m almost afraid to answer this because it’s pretty controversial. Ime. Depends. If it’s in service to the work, and the developers find it useful, then sure. But I’ve seen teams work a whole lot of different ways and be successful. But the important thing is that the team finds it useful. There are plenty of ways to build a product or a company that doesn’t rely on a daily meeting. Remember that Scrum doesn't care…

That makes sense. Definitely agree that these meetings really are for the team, and if they don't find it useful then it's good to try another ways.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#86

Post by meiraleal »

happytiger wrote: post #50
meiraleal wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Only if his expertise is highly relevant and beneficial to the company

It’s weird that an employee who opts out of noise specifically for productive work gets this treatment. Some of the most incredible programmers I’ve had the pleasure of working with were just like this, and I felt like it was my job as their boss to help them keep it that way. There’s a bias for visibility and not actual work that I think makes it really difficult for those on the spectrum or who have adhd or just di…

> There’s a bias for visibility and not actual work

that's not bias, someone that behaves like OP without proven record is just eccentric.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#87

Post by nicbou »

I'm self-employed now, but back in the office I'd use a mix of different tricks:

- Aggressively filter incoming email. Leave most group conversations.

- Turn off instant messaging, check it every hour or so.

- Aggressively avoid meetings. Leave meetings when you no longer need to be there.

- Work from home more. Work from quiet parts of the office.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#88

Post by polishdude20 »

digitalsushi wrote: post #25
ravenstine wrote: post #15

- Ignore your inbox: Unless you're in a support role, most company emails are not as critical as you might think. All of that noise between blathering newsletters, GitHub notifications, calendar events, various service updates, and alerts from failed CI jobs are mere distractions. You can configure your mail to filter these out or, like I do, not bother checking them for days. If something's actually important, you'l…

As tech lead on my team, I ask them to make it to standup and I'll forgive any other absence. It's 15 minutes, we time box it so we just hang up on second 900 if we even make it that long. My team won't update ticket comments, they wont read emails, they won't read Teams channel questions directed at them. I try to keep these things at a minimum so that I can't be accused of making a point about over-stimulation - I…

I worked at a place where story comments were answered by the next day, slack messages were answered pretty quickly too. It sucks that standup was the only place you could get anything from anyone. I think it's basic communication skills

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#89

Post by neonlights84 »

gtirloni wrote: post #75
digitalsushi wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As tech lead on my team, I ask them to make it to standup and I'll forgive any other absence. It's 15 minutes, we time box it so we just hang up on second 900 if we even make it that long. My team won't update ticket comments, they wont read emails, they won't read Teams channel questions directed at them. I try to keep these things at a minimum so that I can't be accused of making a point about over-stimulation - I…

> And I'm not a boss so all I can do is beg. There must be an interesting story that explains why companies everywhere created the powerless tech lead position separate from manager. The tech lead is stuck in an impossible situation, apparently.

Having previously been in a project lead position, I've wondered about this myself. It's downright impossible to get a team to follow a project plan when you have no management authority over them. You can report the facts to their managers, but sometimes the managers don't care and there is no recourse.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#90

Post by ipaddr »

wannacboatmovie wrote: post #57
LocalH wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To be quite honest, demanding an ADHD individual deal with focus-thieves on their own and claiming that it is "toxic" to set boundaries that enable them to do their best work is kinda like expecting a recovering alcoholic to work at a liquor store and saying that it's "toxic" for them to refuse to do so.

Except it is toxic; you can't redefine the behavior because of someone's affliction no matter how unfortunate that may be. If you have Tourette's with coprolalia, you can't go around the office yelling "cunt" at the top of your lungs and expect everyone is okay with it, or that you deserve an accommodation.

Follow the rules and chain of priority. Your manager knows what is important to them let them decide. Other pms need to go through proper channels.
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