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Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

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Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#81
post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok follow-up then. Is it that you're afraid of failing etc., or afraid of not living up to your expectations of yourself? Just trying to get a feel for what you mean.

Expectations (of being an adult with baseline ability to be effective and manage life's responsibilities)

You're comparing your blooper reel to others' highlight reel. You're carrying a huge burden with you, and that you can get out of bed at all in the morning means you're stronger than people who stride casually through life carrying no burden.

I lost my son to suicide earlier this year, and I hope you don't do that. It's absolutely awful for everyone who is left behind, and they are never the same afterwards.

Keep trying therapists. Some specialise in particular areas, and perhaps there's one who specialises in your particular burden. Someone said to me "therapists are like shoes. Keep trying until you find one that fits."

Consider residential care -- check out of the daily pressures of life for a while and be with people who can help you all the time rather than once a week. I hope your family would be supportive if you made it clear that you were considering suicide.

Our son hid his pain from us, and while we knew he was struggling we didn't know the magnitude of it. If we'd known he was considering suicide, perhaps we could have helped him through it.

Much love to you. If you ever need to chat, I'm @gnat on Twitter or nathan@torkington.com in email. As we say in New Zealand, "kia kaha!" (be strong).

Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?

#82

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering. I have struggled with many of the things you mentioned. This will be an unpopular response on this board, but I want to share it anyway, because it's the only thing that has helped heal me and helped me find relief. I began attending an Orthodox Christian church about four years ago. I was a staunch atheist for many years before that, but my life was falling apart and I felt I had…

I was raised in an Orthodox Christian church, and I blame it for much of the parental authoritarianism and shame I was subject to, although I do recognize that is more an institutional thing than it is the philosophy. I at times wish I had discovered the religion later in life like you did.

It's never too late to re-approach it as an adult.
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