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Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

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Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#81

Post by poulpy123 »

cweagans wrote: post #71
poulpy123 wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree with you on the general but agree on the specific here. I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry

> I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry OP is talking about a full grown adult. Not a child.

English is not my native language, what word should I have used ?

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#82

Post by para_parolu »

david38 wrote: post #59
strangattractor wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And sometimes heavy involvement with a Therapist later as an adult.

It’s a lot better to be wealthy and pay a few grand a year for therapy than to be always broke and unemployed.

This is false dichotomy.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#83

Post by thinking4real »

Apreche wrote: post #61

The only red flag here is you. If your son is in college, he is likely to be at least 18 and therefore an adult in most countries. He is responsible for his own decisions, and is also the one to suffer the consequences. If he was studying accounting would you worry if he wasn't having fun doing people's taxes at night? If he was studying chemistry would you worry if he didn't have a mad scientists lab going on? Let y…

“The only red flag here is you. If your son is in college, he is likely to be at least 18 and therefore an adult in most countries.”

Lol what?

Literally most people I know not from the us are either living with or strongly financially supported by their families. Often are buying their first home before their 30s

Americans were sold out and now they think 7 years before the brain fully developed a person should have picked themselves up by their bootstraps…

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#86

Post by kazinator »

madrox wrote: post #19

There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…

I would say the CS that I remember wasn't a gimme major; not sure about nowadays.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#87

Post by wilg »

poulpy123 wrote: post #81
cweagans wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry OP is talking about a full grown adult. Not a child.

English is not my native language, what word should I have used ?

It's not an incorrect word, but it can be possibly misconstrued as being infantilizing, because "child" somewhat implies a young person. But I can't think of a better word!

Perhaps it could have been more a bit more tactful to reword to avoid saying "child", like saying "your son is doing well" in this case.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#88

Post by kazinator »

poulpy123 wrote: post #70
madrox wrote: post #19

There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…

I disagree with you on the general but agree on the specific here. I think parents need to be reasonably involved with their children even when they are students, but here the child seems to do well so there is no reason to worry

Johnny, your Algorithms 360 professor is telling me you're falling behind, but I see you're studying nothing but Databases 413, in which you had 97% in the midterm.

Maybe we have to reprioritize your focus.

Sigh, you know, it's the same old story like back in kindergarten.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#90

Post by Symbiote »

wilg wrote: post #87
poulpy123 wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

English is not my native language, what word should I have used ?

It's not an incorrect word, but it can be possibly misconstrued as being infantilizing, because "child" somewhat implies a young person. But I can't think of a better word! Perhaps it could have been more a bit more tactful to reword to avoid saying "child", like saying "your son is doing well" in this case.

Son or daughter avoids the possibility of infantalizing an adult child.
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