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Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#81

Post by thirdreplicator »

I have been experimenting with different cell phone policies over the past few years with my kids and here is what we settled on.

At our house, we have 6 children ranging in ages from 7-12 (3 of them are mine). No cell phones allowed Mon-Fri, but on Saturday and Sunday, they can have their phones from 2pm-9pm. We sleep at 9pm everyday. Sometimes during the week I'll let them watch a movie. Also, if they want to use their phone for learning something new like oragami, a piano tune or how to draw, then I let them use it for an hour or however long they need it as long as they are responsible.

The result is lots of imaginative play time like fashion shows, disco parties and pretend school. There is a lot of time for studying and playing instruments. All the kids were "A" students this last quarter.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#82

Post by mattpallissard »

LAC-Tech wrote: post #30
mattpallissard wrote: post #3

I don't them use my devices outside of school projects and keep them busy doing things outside the house. I realize this is easier for me than most as my oldest is only 13, we homeschool, and we live in a very rural area with high community engagement. Meaning the social pressure to be online just isn't currently there. Once they have a job and can buy their own devices they can do what they please. Hopefully, the di…

Hopefully, the disdainful tone I use when explaining social media companies to them fully sinks in by then. Yeah kids are famous for doing everything their parents say ;)

Oh I have no doubts they'll give everything a whirl. There's a certain amount of suffering required before you start reconsidering lessons you had previously written off.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#83

Post by [deleted] »

jackson1442 wrote: post #58
SpeedilyDamage wrote: post #7

You teach them about moderation, you give them the tools to make their own choices, and you protect them from the obvious/bad outcomes that would cause irreparable harm. So like, add a network filter for gore/porn up to a certain age, and try to do a good job of showing how to invest their time as a reward function rather than the instant gratification path. But ultimately, babying them will prevent them from growing…

Strongly, strongly agree. I think of it similar to the issue of college students and drinking. Freshman with highly restrictive parents are at a greater risk of getting alcohol poisoning because they try to "make up for lost time" or something when they move out. My parents tried to limit a bunch of stuff in our house while I was growing up, and it never ever worked. Once I figured out self-regulation I was much bett…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#84

Post by RGamma »

Now consider the effects reported here on emotionally helpless/immature children and realise that adults fall victim to the same effects but express them differently.

Take the collective entertainment media engagement numbers and the fact that adults are no longer constrained by supervision in this regard and extrapolate the impact on hundreds of millions of adults times ~10 years for many billion experience-days under the influence of SM engagement and you'll get the perfect description of modern societal ills.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#85

Post by yumraj »

One of the best things you can do is implement a strict no FB, Instagram, tiktok, snapchat .. future social media policy.

Secondly, stop using those services yourself and take every opportunity to tell them how much crap they are and how they should not be used.

They will listen to you since you yourself are not using them. If you use them and tell them not to, of course it's not going to work.

Once social media is out of the picture, you've taken care of the worst crap. Rest is incremental and you can build on the above.

Use pihole, other DNS filtering services to help filter other services.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#86

Post by D13Fd »

benjaminwootton wrote: post #39
factsarelolz wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A 2-3 year old sitting there quietly talking, coloring or reading? Yeah it's very very very hard to believe. Even if the child is an absolute saint there's such things as sensory overload.

Are you guys being serious? It would be a cold day in hell before my children sat at a dinner table with an ipad for entertainment! A 3 year old talking, colouring, playing games etc before food arrives is absolutely normal and acheivable!

Right on. I’m always amazed when we go to a restaurant and there are kids on iPads while eating.

There is no question that iPads are the easiest solution, but it’s rarely the best solution, and it’s certainly not necessary. Humanity survived for thousands of years without having iPads for kiddos at restaurants.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#87

Post by theonething »

adaml_623 wrote: post #21
theonething wrote: post #10

My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc. We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, s…

What do you do with her when you are out with friends? Restaurants, etc?

Believe or not, especially if we order something she really likes, she'll sit there eating her food and talk to us, making comments about things she notices in her environment. Before the food comes, she'll just look around and make conversation about what she sees.

Could this be just her personality and we got lucky? Possibly. But I'm willing to bet it also has to do with her not being used to screens and instead being used to focusing on the environment in front of and around her. There are studies about the association between screen time and ADHD symptoms.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#88

Post by theonething »

KerrAvon wrote: post #75
theonething wrote: post #10

My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc. We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, s…

Find a Waldorf school with a strict no-media policy and you have a fighting chance to keep the kid healthy through grade school.

One of the classes she goes to is in fact Waldorf. ;)

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#89

Post by theonething »

D13Fd wrote: post #86
benjaminwootton wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you guys being serious? It would be a cold day in hell before my children sat at a dinner table with an ipad for entertainment! A 3 year old talking, colouring, playing games etc before food arrives is absolutely normal and acheivable!

Right on. I’m always amazed when we go to a restaurant and there are kids on iPads while eating. There is no question that iPads are the easiest solution, but it’s rarely the best solution, and it’s certainly not necessary. Humanity survived for thousands of years without having iPads for kiddos at restaurants.

> kids on iPads while eating.

Thing is that statement applies to a lot of the adults (with phones) in the restaurant too. It's sad and telling.

Re: Ask HN: How do you protect your children from internet addiction?

#90

Post by theonething »

kleiba wrote: post #77
theonething wrote: post #10

My kid's almost three. From day one, we've implemented a zero screen policy. That means no phones, tablets, computers, TV (don't own one), etc. We've read to her since day one and she loves books now and her spoken/listening language skills are way ahead for her age. Wife speaks to her in her native language so she's growing up bilingual too. Wife takes her to parks, mommy and me classes where they have story time, s…

But your child will not be almost three forever. I have one in the same age bracket myself with three older siblings. The little one has practically no interest in screen time anyway, but it's a completely different story with the older ones. At some point, they will get in touch with media one way or the other. In our case, once they get into school, they'll be using ipads anyway. So, I agree that for very little ch…

Zero to three are critical years for child development. The brain grows to 80% of its adult size by then.

What happens doing those years has outsized effects on the child the rest of their life.

So yes, I won't be able to shield her from screens forever. But I can still do my best to set her up for success and prevent her from being a screen junkie.

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