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Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

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Re: Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

#82

Quite honestly, programming doesn't sound like a good fit. Have you tried doing something physical? Like post office delivery or something.

These jobs don't pay enough to afford housing and food around here... It's done by older people who got their real estate when it was still cheap 10-20 (or more) years ago. Younger people have absolutely no chance of making enough to get by from this job. There's also huge competition on these jobs - older people who want to supplement their pension income, etc. I'm not averse to physical work (I like working on my g…

> In my downperiods I am unable to clean my teeth

This looks like bipolar disorder, and it is very controllable with right doctor.

Re: Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

#83
I'm just like you, I've some period of productive work and then cannot do anything. I'm shy of few courses to get a minor in business administration because I couldn't do the mandatory class presentation. Thankfully I managed to graduate with a very low GPA with help of meds. Most normal people don't understand the challenge you face, but fortunately there are some medicines that work, but it takes a while. It took me 10+ years to figure out what works and what to avoid.

What I'm currently on that helps me are

1. Trintellix

2. Wellbutrin

3. Adzenys XR-ODT (This is ADHD medicine prescribed to kids, it helps me better than Aderral or Ritlin.)

I hope this helps.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vortioxetine

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bupropion

[3] https://adzenysxrodt.com/

Edit: formatting

Re: Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

#84
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In my downperiods I am unable to clean my teeth. That sounds like a symptom of depression, not ADHD.

It's not emotional. I'm not feeling down/sad. I just can't focus on doing anything.

Brushing teeth doesn't require focus. There is definitely more than ADHD going on here. Extreme depression often isn't feeling down/sad, it's a complete lack of energy or motivation to do even the most simple tasks such as brushing ones teeth.

Re: Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

#86
I'm in a similar situation:

You're super fortunate in that you at least have those short-term "best programmer" phases (especially in an industry with high pay and high demand for your skills).

My advice: use your ability to make yourself indispensable. Then you can lay out the terms and call the shots.

I use excuses for my long term absences because the stigma of my severe mental illness is too high. But if you perform well and deliver as promised, it doesn't even have to come up...

As far as explaining away the need for long absences, I personally keep it simple and vague, and Positive: that experience has taught you that you're happiest and most productive working on this bizarre schedule. It can even create a little "eccentric genius" aura and the illusion of confidence. Just be careful not to take this too far and enter jerk territory. They're still going out of their way for you, so gratitude & humility are important.

I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. I understand it and it's incredibly difficult, but really admire that you're looking for ways to fight and work throughout it.

Re: Ask HN: Experienced software engineer – but unable to consistently work

#87
post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In my downperiods I am unable to clean my teeth. That sounds like a symptom of depression, not ADHD.

It's not emotional. I'm not feeling down/sad. I just can't focus on doing anything.

This is not ADHD
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