Go on a very very long vacation!
Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
81–90 of 172 posts
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#82A lot of people mention therapy. If you need specific recommendations, I am close friends with a therapist in Toronto that is starting up her own practice:
personal page (WIP): https://meganpsychotherapy.com/
Association page: http://thecalmcollective.ca/megan-lawrence-therapist/
I haven't visited her in a professional context, but I've known her for over 10 years and I have confidence in her abilities. She's very approachable and easy to talk to.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#83Hi young man, this is not burnout. You seem to have reached the point where your outer ideas of life no longer serve the organic inner ideas of life per se, and so you have been creating all sort of pain around yourself in order to notice that the conflict you've created can no longer be maintained.
Go back some years to where you last re-wrote your self-definition and take out anything that's not real. This kind of struggle is one where you are going to have to extricate yourself from your thoughts and ideas, otherwise known as illusions, about life, and become an actual self-reliant/psychological adult .. which is supposed to happen at this stage/age.
If you can manage to keep your work connection as a means of everyday grounding, by all means do that while you mourn the end of childhood.
Anyhow, you wrote in the comments: Now that it's done, I feel like I can relax a bit and also accept that things can go poorly and it doesn't have to be devastating.
And that's the truth. I would underline it. Remember it while your emotions suggest that you should feel like shit. Then it will pass. Its not fair, its not easy, but adulthood is worth it.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#84Read “Feeling Good” by John Burns, and be sure to do the exercises in the book.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#85Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time,…
The biggest thing that fixed my burnout was actually getting laid off during the recession (09). And being unemployed for a few months. Fortunately this was in the summer, and I spend many days up at the camper (we had an already paid for seasonal spot about an hour away). I found myself sleeping so hard during the afternoons that I slept through several recruiters calling me back. Then when I finally landed a new jo…
Is taking a month or two off impossible? It sounds like you could really use a break.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#86Hi young man, this is not burnout. You seem to have reached the point where your outer ideas of life no longer serve the organic inner ideas of life per se, and so you have been creating all sort of pain around yourself in order to notice that the conflict you've created can no longer be maintained. Go back some years to where you last re-wrote your self-definition and take out anything that's not real. This kind of…
Young man?
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#87Here's what I would advise. Do not under any circumstances quit your job. I've lived through a similar scenario, and while I had a ton of savings, quitting my job resulted in chaos. Poor sleep schedule, dropping motivation, etc. I would get a therapist. Secondly, if your job is stressful, try and find another developer job at a large slow moving, mediocre paying corporation. Mostly recovering from burnout takes time,…
The biggest thing that fixed my burnout was actually getting laid off during the recession (09). And being unemployed for a few months. Fortunately this was in the summer, and I spend many days up at the camper (we had an already paid for seasonal spot about an hour away). I found myself sleeping so hard during the afternoons that I slept through several recruiters calling me back. Then when I finally landed a new jo…
> Problem is, after more than a decade I find myself constantly tired and unmotivated for anything. I fear that burnout is starting again...
That statement relates to a feeling I have about burnout - I don't believe you fully recover from it. At least in my experience, while I (and others I've discussed this with) recovered by some point, I also felt something was left permanently weakened, in a way that made me increasingly susceptible to later bouts I'd experience.
There are probably normal factors that contribute to that, such as how much we age between bouts. However, after each bout, I recall not feeling the same after recovering as I did prior to when the bout started.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#881. Realise work is subservient to life, you work to enable life, not the other way around. As such re-evaluate and keep your goal in mind . 2. If work isn't taking you where you where you want to go and worse, if it's hurting you, you need to either find a new tack or different work. I know this is easy to say from a position of privilege, but would it be hard for you to change post or change company?
Firstly - thanks so much for your input. Secondly - I’m concerned about the interim - I don’t want to leave my post here without having a plan. My company is amazing and treats me very well. I just recognize that unfortunately right now I’d certainly be better off in a position where I could work remotely more, for instance. I don’t know how possible or plausible that is. I’m in the process of figuring that out.
>I don’t know how possible or plausible that is. I’m in the process of figuring that out.
Totally plausible. I wouldn't walk into work tomorrow and quit your job, but let's face it: you have experience in one of the most in-demand skills on the planet. I'd bet you wouldn't have an issue finding another job. The problem is: would another job solve your issue? It might not.
As others have said, what you need is time. I'm not sure in what way your medical leave was covered the first time, but as a fellow Canadian, our country is extremely generous in that manner (and progressive with respect to mental health). You might be able to take an extended medical leave that would allow you to draw EI. If you can survive on the $500/week the benefit pays, it might be worth it.
Good luck!
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#89As tired as this cliche is, I have to ask if you workout.
I found that lifting or intense cardio helps me move out of my funks.
When I'm suffering through an intense workout I don't think about anything else. When I finish the workout, I can be so exhausted that I pass out and go to sleep. that in itself is a blessing.
Lastly, so much of stress is self-imposed. You are where you are, and whatever plans you have, are determined by you.
Be safe. Good luck.
Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?
#90Can you bring your work down to 4 or 3 days? For like the whole year? Going back to 32 hours will give a lot of space, to sleep, to do other stuff. If the company supports this, that would be great.
Daily chores, cooking, cleaning: do what is practical and what you can handle! Order food if you cannot bring yourself to cook. Don't worry too much about cleaning, but make sure pests stay away. When you go out for work or whatever, make sure you are presentable, properly clothed and clean. Get a hair cut on a regular basis. Shave. Having a house that is spic and span is no priority. On the other hand, cleaning the house is a way to clear your mind. Walking, fitness, biking, swimming - all the are good to clear your head and remove the ongoing thoughts for an hour or so. This works better in a workshop with an instructor, like a tennis or dance lesson.