Ask HN: I am 30yrs and never had a full time job, now suicidal. Any life advice?

For some people suicide is the right answer but it's the minority, most people who attempt it but survive later regret trying to do it. Applying to 20 jobs is absolutely nothing. At least apply to 80 more before you think about offing yourself. Even if there's a job that isn't in your field it's better than what you have. Tons of places are hiring for seasonal work right now. 20000€ in debt isn't really that much, try living in America.

I had a similar background, but in the U.S. I even lived close to a few big biotech companies, and I could not even get an interview, even when applying for entry-level jobs. Then I would hear from my friends and relatives that so-and-so with just a high school diploma got a job at one of those places. I got very angry and bitter. I had given up TV and video games for an entire decade to focus on my learning and education. I was never suicidal, but was finding it more and more difficult to get out of bed by 10 a.m. I think what helped me most of all were the stories of people that were much worse off than me, and experienced more tragedies, and yet were so kind and positive. I started thinking about these people more than my seemingly unfair situation, and life became much easier to cope with. So try focusing on inspiring stories. They will make life easier to handle and will give you an attitude that is much more attractive to employers.

I think you're overreacting. His advice was very practical, and in no way can you reasonably say that his advice "is likely to kill people."

Telling him to take a shower, shave, and put on clean clothes is probably very good advice. When it comes to human beings, function often follows form; or to put it another way, to a large extent, we feel how we act. If a person has been depressed and cooped up for some time, it's likely he hasn't been taking great care of himself, and so if he looks in the mirror, it's likely he isn't presenting his best self--which further contributes to the downward spiral. Cleaning himself up will have an immediate positive effect on his self-image.

Your comment about the blade is rather silly. Obviously, if he's a grown man, he's going to have a shaving implement in his bathroom, whether a safety razor, an electric shaver, etc. It's most likely in plain sight on the counter. Are you going to tell him to not go to the bathroom because he might see his razor? Are you going to tell him to not open his kitchen drawers because he might see a knife? I think that kind of fearmongering would push him further down the spiral. Treating him as if he is on a hair trigger is more likely to put him on one, because it trains him to think of everything around him as a potential threat to himself.

When people are looking to others for support, they largely act up to the expectations they have of themselves. If we treat them as if we expect them to harm themselves, it's more likely that they will. If we treat them as if we expect them to recover and take care of themselves, it's more likely that they will.

Of course, this depends on their state of mind: if they are past a certain point, they need to be watched constantly and protected from themselves. But I don't think this is the case with him. He's calmly come here to ask for help. He needs encouragement and help retraining his thought processes; he doesn't need to be treated as if he's a lost cause who needs to be taken away in a straightjacket. That would surely make him feel worse.

Hi tevlon,

You say "bioinformatics" and you already look incredible to me. That's it, for real !

It's easy to feel overwhelmed by life, and it's important (as you do with this post) to step back or aside, and ask for help. All we can do is point to you how your life isn't as horrible as you see it, and is better than many. The path to walk is yours.

20 jobs, and 4 rejections, for a french developer without a "engineer degree" this is a daily routine, no kidding. I already know that saying it won't make you feel better about what rejection means for you. Quite annoying, yes.. , quite frustrating.... yes! But not that harsh to consider, after all. Why? Because most people will judge.. before anything, and trust me, you don't want to work for this kind of persons. Some will talk to you, and choose not to keep you. And with those guys it'll be fine to ask why they didn't want you. And as you'll ask them, you'll realize that you were in competition with other guys, feeling as overwhelmed as you do, and among them was one guy who was a better fit than the others for the job.

Keep pushing ! Not being the best fit for one context doesn't mean being a waste. But that kind of thoughts is for everyone to deal with, each one of us keeps pushing. And you already pushed quite hard with THIS post.

In martial arts we say : "Being afraid is good, driven by fear is bad. Fight fear, but do not kill it... for it'll save your life more than once."

There is a little comic strip that will help summarize everything : http://www.viruscomix.com/page528.html

What is feels like... What it is.. The correct word for your situation is "perspective". And any advice asking you to seek for help is a good one.

As for perspective means "changing the point of view"

Keep pushing:https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/df/53/de/df53...