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Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

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Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#761

Post by solarmist »

giantg2 wrote: post #257

"Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?" Worked hard believing it would be rewarded.

Yes. Something I learned from contractors on how to fix a big part of this is good communication (this is not self-promotion). People pay much less attention to others than we expect, so most don't know what we're doing or what we did.

1) Say what you're going to do.

2) Do it.

2a) Bonus: If something changes, immediately say what has changed and reconfirm the agreement.

3) Say what you did.

Those three steps go a long way toward being recognized for your contributions.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#762

Post by cookie_monsta »

mooreds wrote: post #300

I used to always cut open packages in the kitchen with a sharp knife (typically a steak knife). When I got married, my SO was a big fan of kitchen shears, so I was introduced to them. Using shears is a far better experience, and they're useful for pizza too.

Kitchen shears are also great for cutting meat into strips for stir fry.

Please don't judge me. I'm just trying to get by.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#764

Post by w_for_wumbo »

Thinking other people's emotions were my responsibility (or likewise that other people were responsible for my emotions). I can control my actions and that is all. If someone reacts negatively, it's not my fault, and it's not my responsibility. I may choose to help them through it, but at the end of the day, I can't, nor should I want to control other people's emotions.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#765

Post by MourningWood »

ariekachler wrote: post #312

Dismissing people as undesirable without any thought of why they became the way they are. It's very easy to quickly make up your mind about someone who you don't like without asking yourself "why did this person became such an a-hole or someone you just don't want to have any relation with". I have realized that most of these people have had lives that have made them whatever negative adjectives I would give them.

I try to think everyone is a product of their environment.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#766

Post by amelius »

Waterluvian wrote: post #376
rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

My wife and I have a rule, "everything needs to have a home." Because if it doesn't have a home, it becomes clutter, and after enough clutter, it finds a home... usually a sub-optimal one, like a junk drawer. The kids (4 and 5) have adapted to this wonderfully. It really helps them. It makes cleanup a trivial task because everything is known to belong somewhere specific. Related to this: the recognition that everythi…

> everything needs to have a home

Does it count if everything goes into one big box?

Or if I just declare the living room as the home for my stuff?

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#767

Post by justin_oaks »

gongdzhauh wrote: post #690

I used to be a NIMBY. I thought small neighborhoods that have nice characteristics should never evolve or change, I thought places with tons of people were unpleasant to live in, I looked down on people who could afford market-rate new housing ("evil techies"), I thought new development increased rents (it doesn't). 20ish years later, seeing the homelessness, property crime, and housing crisis in the Bay Area, I am c…

I read an article I found on HN about how housing regulations ensure there is a minimum price on housing. If you can only afford housing below the minimum required to meet the regulations then you go homeless.

We don't want people homeless but on the other hand, we don't want people producing unsafe housing just to keep costs down.

It's a particularly nasty problem that I've only seen discussed in that one article.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#768

Post by orange_fritter »

f3b5 wrote: post #725

Not waking up earlier to the fact that the meat section in the supermarket is a product of systemic, gruesome torture of intelligent beings. Like probably many of you who read this, I usually felt a bit guilty when I was confronted with the ugly facts we are all vaguely familiar with. I justified my meat consumption with specieist arguments (humans are so much better than pigs, cows, etc). My wife challenged me to wa…

I think the "aha" moment was when I was thinking silently about how great this veggie wrap was, and someone expressed disgust. They said nothing compares to a meatball sub, and I realized that my palate had changed because I used to feel the same way. Like if you don't hork down a big chunk of meat, your meal is incomplete. But deliberate effort to be healthy and moral had changed my taste buds and gut. The sacrifice is not as big as you think. As for me, I will still eat a steak if I really crave it, but I typically feel heavy/slow afterward and it's just not as good as they say.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#769

Post by charlieflowers »

Dowwie wrote: post #293

One of the worst thing I did for many decades was drink bottled water and/or tap water. For many years I bought bottled water for home consumption. I eventually learned about under-sink reverse-osmosis water filtration systems and invested in one. For the last ~15 years, I've used such systems, following scheduled filter replacements. The water tastes and feels better than bottled water. Last year, my county water ut…

Can you recommend a brand? They are expensive and there are the usual low quality, planned obscelesence game playing techniques to sort through.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#770

Post by chordalkeyboard »

saiya-jin wrote: post #756
achenatx wrote: post #578

Ive modestly tried to lose weight my whole life. Ive never been fat, but still had to work to keep my calories low. Im 5' 9", and it took 10 years to go from 170 to more like 160. Losing weight made me weaker and caused me to lose muscle. Ive recently started weightlifting for strength (low reps high weights) and the mindset is totally different. With weightlifting to keep your lifts going up you have to eat more. On…

That's not really that great advice - overdosing on protein long term will mess up your body in number of ways. Yes beginners always fixate themselves on this specific aspect (or very similar formula) but it ain't good path to sustainable wellness and health. Let's put aside the super tiny category of professional bodybuilders where its valid approach, which ain't long term healthy place to be in for number of reason…

> overdosing on protein long term will mess up your body in number of ways

1g protein per pound of lean bodyweight is not an 'overdose' and has no ill effects, long term or otherwise.

the rest of your comment is good advice.

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