761–770 of 905 posts
This is HN, I'm going to kill a joke instead: There is the classic: There are only two hard problems in computer science: Cache invalidation, naming things... and off-by-one errors! Ha ha ha I hate this joke. It takes one of the most insightful things ever said about the profession, makes it into a joke that isn't even that good, and now the only thing you rememebr about it is the punchline. Let's break it down: - Ca…
This isn't exactly a programming joke but considering how many of us physics majors become programmers, I think it works: Heisenberg, Shrodinger and Ohm were driving down a highway when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop asks Heisenberg if he knew how fast he was going, as you can surmise, he claimed he didn't know because he knew exactly where they were. The cop, finding this suspicious (and because this is not…
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Why do programmers hate legacy projects, you ask?
Well, imagine yourself in a situation where you are asked to finish the construction of a nuclear power plant on a remote island that your friend started.
You arrive on the island to discover quite unusual pieces of design in the project. Among other curiosities, you find a room full of broomsticks, a 90 foot tall fan and a hot air balloon. You think to yourself - what a silly idea, who needs all those things in a power plant? - and your first steps are to remove all those unnecessary dingbats.
A few months of hard work later, you have finished the construction of the power plant. You and a few scientists gather in the control room and power the thing up for the first time for a test run. Everything seems to be working fine for a few minutes, but suddenly, everything lights up red - there is a radioactive gas leak!
You panic, because you have no idea what could have caused such an issue. You call your friend and ask for ideas. While you describe the situation to him, he is horrified.
- Have you really gotten rid of the room with the broomsticks?
- Of course! Why would you need a room full of broomsticks in a power plant?
- They were holding up the weight of the reactor core! No wonder you have a radioactive gas leak!
- My God, why did you not tell me? What should I do about the leak?
- Don't worry, everything is fine, just turn on the 90 foot tall fan and it should blow the toxic gas away from the island.
- What fan? Oh, this fan? I've gotten rid of it!
- Why would you do that?! It was an important safety measure!
- We'll argue about that later, people are dying in here! Is there anything else I can do?
- You can't stay on the island, it is not safe. Just gather everyone in the hot air balloon and get the hell out of there!
Monzy - Kill Dash Nine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fow7iUaKrq4
Googlers - Write in go https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJvEIjRBSDA
One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
I sent this to a project manager once, and they didnt understand nor appreciate it.
Three logisticians just finished dinner, and the waitress comes up and asks "do y'all want dessert?" The first logistician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The last says "yes, we would."
The first two logisticians, each being a flawed human capable of error, might have answered "I don't know" despite not wanting dessert.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This joke must have been written by a journalist who's never been to Microsoft and doesn't bother to fact check their work, since the Microsoft campus is in Redmond and the tallest buildings there are only six stories high.
Well, I can at least tell for sure that I’m on Hacker News, now. :)
"Assume we have 1000 apples, or let's take a round figure, 1024 apples."
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// get tomorrows date
int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}Earlier quoted context omitted.
In my car, I have to disconnect the battery when the cheap 30$ Chinese radio freezes.
Put a toggle switch somewhere in the cabin and splice it between the car radio power wires and the battery. So you can easily reboot the radio without having to mess around under the hood.
The radio drained my battery in 2 weeks, an absolute horror in Covid times when the car is in "long term storage".
(Not my joke) At a recent real-time Java conference, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?" Among the forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite c…
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/09/business/boeing-737-messa...