This is an old-style joke: why programmers keep confusing Christmas with Halloween? Because 25 Dec = 31 Oct.
Wow. I never noticed.
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#752Earlier quoted context omitted.
It sounds like they're in the middle of the Atlantic? Have I got it wrong, I must have because the programmer is supposed to be standing in a field. Wait - are they dead and in heaven!?!
You must be a programmer. Those who actually checks the requirements.
Sounds more like a pedantic QA
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#753Earlier quoted context omitted.
I've heard another variant of this joke: A friend asks a programmer if they'd like to go bowling or go to the movies. The programmer answers: "Yes".
That's... not another variant of that joke?
One is about "Or" statements and the other is about "And" statements.
All three logisticians needs to be "true/yes" and the first one didn't know about the two others so the logistician says "I don't know". If he didn't wanted dessert, he would have said "no".
Same thing for the second logistician.
The last logistician was able to say "yes, we would." because none of the other logistician said "no". Therefore, they all wanted dessert.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#754One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…
I believe the original form of this joke goes like this:
Lost man in a balloon yells down at a man on the ground “Where am I?”
The man on the ground responds, “You’re in a balloon”
The man in the balloon says “You must be a mathematician”.
“Why?” asks the man on the ground.
“Because your answer is absolutely right and absolutely useless”
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#755Three logisticians just finished dinner, and the waitress comes up and asks "do y'all want dessert?" The first logistician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The last says "yes, we would."
I've heard another variant of this joke: A friend asks a programmer if they'd like to go bowling or go to the movies. The programmer answers: "Yes".
They ask Lemmy Kilminster whether he likes more beer or women. He answers yes.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#756Not exactly a programmer joke:
Airport security caught a statistician try to sneak in a bomb in his baggage. The aprehened him and question him why he has a bomb with him:
"I calculated the probability that a flight will carry two bombs on board, and it is never likely to happen, so I brought one along."
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#757[deleted]
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#758Two engineers are attempting to measure the height of a pole in the ground but as they extend their tape measure towards the sky it keeps collapsing.
A mathematician walks by and asks what they are doing and they say they’re trying to figure out the height.
The mathematician pulls the pole out of the ground and lays it down. He measures it and says “It’s 16 feet”.
As he’s walking away one engineer shakes his head and says, “Mathematicians...you ask them for the height and they give you the length!”
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#759An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.
Are you saying you've never told a joke without knowing (or mentioning) the source...?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#7603 DBAs walk into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walk out because they couldn’t find a table.