This is an old one.
What is a four-letter word name for a language that you write once and run anywhere?
Perl.
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
731–740 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#732One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
Thats a rehash of an old joke: I know it soviet style: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "in a balloon". The mathematician remarks, ah, he mu…
Could change it like that:
A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost.
They encounter a man walking below:
The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?"
"..." the man looks up and says nothing
The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!"
"..." after a while the man says: "yes".
The mathematician remarks, ah, he must be a logician. The others: "how do you know?"
"Well, for once he needed a lot of time to answer. Then his answer is logically correct. And lastly, his answer is completely useless to us."
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#733Did you hear the one about a programmer losing all of her hair? She bought a bottle of shampoo and the instructions said "Lather. Rinse. Repeat."
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#734I went to a NodeJS party one time but I didn't like it, only one person could have fun at once. Then I went to an Erlang party, and it was just a bunch of nerds at separate tables passing notes to each other about how much fun they were having. But the weirdest was the Haskell party. Nothing happened for six hours and then suddenly everyone said "Well, that was fun!" and went home...
funny stuff. got the Nodejs (single threaded) and Erlang (message passing) jokes but not familiar with Haskell.. whats joke there ...
Is it batch perhaps? I’m pretty ignorant too.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#735Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is funny because no one uses the factory pattern in other languages
Reminds me of the old FactoryFactoryFactory joke [1] [1] https://gist.github.com/nkbt/4691b1ae3e78a6141aea
> "This thing comes with documentation, right?"
This is the most painful part for me. If you're trying to understand some code written in Gratuitous Object Astronautics style, it's almost universally assumed you're fully aware of why the product contains hammer factory factory factories, how factories work, and how get an actual hammer to swing.
The Gratuitous Object Astronautics culture is so accustomed to all the nonfunctional boilerplate that skilled, self-gratifying, astronauts never need to document their cleverness. This leaves casual tourists in the dark, which is a problem in any organization.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#736Two people are taking part in a scientific study to investigate people's approaches to problem solving. One of the two is an engineer, the other is a mathematician.
The researchers set up an experiment by putting a sink, an empty bucket and a waste paper bin in a small room. Then they set the bin on fire, and call the engineer in to see how he approaches the problem.
The engineer takes a quick look around, assesses the situation, and then takes the bucket, fills it with water at the sink, and pours it on the fire.
The experiment is then set up again and repeated, this time with the mathematician. Like the engineer, he quickly fills the bucket and puts out the fire.
Next, a slight variation is made to the experiment: it's the same as before, except that the bucket is filled with water in advance.
As before, the engineer goes first. Upon seeing the fire, and the bucket full of water, he pours the water on the fire without hesitation, and all is well. The team nod to each other and mumble approvingly, writing the results on their clipboards.
Now it's the mathematician's turn again. The team resets the experiment and calls in the mathematician. He looks around at the situation, and sees the bucket of water, the sink and the burning bin. He then calmly picks up the bucket, pours the water down the sink, puts the bucket back down, and stands back. "There you go", he says, "done!".
The researchers look at him, and at each other in total bewilderment. "What do you mean, 'done'" they ask, "the bin is still on fire!".
"Yes", says the mathematician, "but I've reduced it to a previously solved problem.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#737Earlier quoted context omitted.
C:##
As an Englishman, that symbol is "sharp" (or hash) which does two things. It makes the sex sound painful, then gives you a second smirk when you remember that it means "pound (£)" in American.
The register[1] quite conclusively determined that the symbol was pronounced "splat".
[1] https://www.theregister.com/2002/07/04/why_microsoft_makes_a...
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#738This is an oldie (I first heard it in the 80s) but is one of my all time favorites. While it can be told about any two classes of people it really applies to a lot of code I encounter: A physicist is showing a thermos to her friend, a programmer. "It's amazing", she said. "You put a cold drink inside and regardless of how hot it is outside the drink stays cold". The programmer is suitably impressed. "But that's not a…
0 if the bottle is empty. 1 if its hot. -1 when its cold :D
FileNotFound if it's none of those
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#739This is an oldie (I first heard it in the 80s) but is one of my all time favorites. While it can be told about any two classes of people it really applies to a lot of code I encounter: A physicist is showing a thermos to her friend, a programmer. "It's amazing", she said. "You put a cold drink inside and regardless of how hot it is outside the drink stays cold". The programmer is suitably impressed. "But that's not a…
I first heard this joke at an AI conference...
"An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and an AI researcher were asked to name the greatest invention of all time.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The AI researcher chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked. "Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.", said the AI researcher. "Yes - so what?" "Think about it.", intoned the researcher reverently. "That little bottle - how does it know?"
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#740This is a variation on a joke I heard from the nerdy comedian Don McMillian... [1] I used to work at JPL, and I could tell what anyone's job was by asking them one question... What is Pi? Ask a mathematician, and they will say "Pi is ratio of a circle's circumference to its circle." Ask a physicist, and they will say "Pi is 3.141592653589793." Ask an engineer, and they will say "Pi is about 3, but just to be safe, le…
>Ask a mathematician, and they will say "Pi is ratio of a circle's circumference to its circle."
its diameter.