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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#712

Post by SilasX »

Abimelex wrote: post #468

My favorite: ===================== A Computer Programmer finds a frog by the side of the road. The frog says, "I am actually a Princess! If you kiss me, I'll revert back to my human form and be forever grateful?", the programmer smiles and puts the frog back in his pocket. Again, the frog says, "But I really am! I would even marry you if you kiss me and turn me back into a human!", the programmer chuckles and puts th…

Reminds me of the joke about the talking dog at the flea market where the seller thinks he duped the buyer because "the dog is a liar".

For the topic: the programming version of the joke would be where it's a disgruntled e.g. D-Wave employee selling a stolen "quantum computer" at a flea market that can demonstrably break RSA encryption, and he thinks he duped the buyer because "it's really just a fancy classical computer".

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#713

Post by simonh »

_kst_ wrote: post #369
SV_BubbleTime wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes you might want to know success though. So... status = destroyCity(&city); This way, because assumingely we may mutate city in some way we’ll still have what comes after to examine, we didn’t pass the name or Od of the city, but the location itself. And we’ll know if overall our destruction worked. It’s also better if you code to MIRSA destruction.

Because passing the city by copy is way too expensive and won't destroy the original city anyway.

Ok, here's a variation.

A programmer is drafted by the military and ordered to write the software for a city destroying weapon. Given the freedom to choose the implementation language, he chooses Javascript. The user enters the city to be destroyed, which is passed to the Function destroyCity().

The General returns from the weapon's fist use in battle furious. "We fired your damn weapon at Bahgdad, and the city's still there! What's going on?"

"I think I know" says the programmer. Javascript passes it's parameters by value, not by reference."

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#714

Post by drran »

young_unixer wrote: post #442
minikomi wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the punchline was going to be about waiting for garbage collection to finish

If Java had true garbage collection, it would collect itself.

Java is written in C, so it cannot.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#715

Post by dmingod666 »

sethammons wrote: post #623
the_gipsy wrote: post #562

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ah yes the triple-boolean

Reminds me of our five value boolean we used to have: is_deleted. Woe to person who expected that to be 1 or 0. Five distinct and overloaded values were possible, though I now forget them. Probably something like pending, fully deleted, being restored, not deleted, and restored.

like linux app return codes.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#717

Post by kube-system »

tensility wrote: post #532
codetrotter wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…

This joke must have been written by a journalist who's never been to Microsoft and doesn't bother to fact check their work, since the Microsoft campus is in Redmond and the tallest buildings there are only six stories high.

You must be a programmer.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#718

Post by globular-toast »

ajxs wrote: post #94

(Not my joke) At a recent real-time Java conference, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?" Among the forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite c…

Reminds me of Arthur C. Clarke's first published short story Travel by Wire!
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