Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#701

Post by jcstauffer » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 2:54 PM UTC

avmich wrote: post #218

A doctor, an architect and a programmer talk about their professions. "Mine is the oldest", says the doctor, "as everybody knows God created Eve from the rib of Adam, and that's definitely a medical operation". "Right", says the architect, "but in fact architect is even older - it's definitely an architectural project to create the world from chaos". At this point programmer kicks back in the chair and gives friends…

As others mentioned, I've also heard this as a lawyer taking claim from the chaos.

I also heard this from a friend that heard it from Ronald Reagan, who claimed it was his favorite joke.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#702

Post by marcosdumay » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 2:56 PM UTC

spacemanmatt wrote: post #217

imglorp wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then he thought he'd use Java. Now he has a ProblemFactory.

This is funny because no one uses the factory pattern in other languages

Well, to a first approximation, no, nobody uses the factory pattern in other languages.

Once in a long while you see one in C# or C++. But the people making fun of Java aren't comparing it with C# and C++.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#703

Post by tilt_error » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 2:59 PM UTC

  > got a light?
  zsh: no matches found: light?

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#704

Post by teddyh » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 2:59 PM UTC

Programmers and computer scientists tend, in my experience, go for what is sometimes called Ha-Ha-Only-Serious (“HHOS”) type jokes. Meaning, statements that are true, but so piercing that they also are humorous.

In this vein, I can recommend the book The Tao of Programming by Geoffrey James. There are also collections of funny anecdotes like “COMPUTER-RELATED HORROR STORIES, FOLKLORE, AND ANECDOTES”¹, “Computer Stupidities”² and the pre-MacOS X Macintosh-related collection of “folklore”³. There is also the classic “AI koans” collection⁴.

If what you want is something more like a personal biography (like the classic Feynman books), I can suggest The Network Revolution: Confessions of a Computer Scientist⁵.

1. https://www.cs.earlham.edu/~skylar/humor/Unix/computer.folkl...

2. http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

3. https://www.folklore.org/

4. http://www.catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/koans.html

5. https://books.google.com/books?id=6f8VqnZaPQwC

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#705

Post by DoofusOfDeath » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:00 PM UTC

stevage wrote: post #501

avmich wrote: post #218

A doctor, an architect and a programmer talk about their professions. "Mine is the oldest", says the doctor, "as everybody knows God created Eve from the rib of Adam, and that's definitely a medical operation". "Right", says the architect, "but in fact architect is even older - it's definitely an architectural project to create the world from chaos". At this point programmer kicks back in the chair and gives friends…

I always heard this with a lawyer at the end.

The joke's context is Genesis chapters 1-2, so it wouldn't make sense to include a lawyer. Satan only shows up in chapter 3.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#706

Post by tilt_error » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:00 PM UTC

  # cd /etc
  # emacs hosts
  # rm * ~
  # ls
  # ls

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#707

Post by milkrocks » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:02 PM UTC

mPReDiToR wrote: post #576

dariusj18 wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

C:##

As an Englishman, that symbol is "sharp" (or hash) which does two things. It makes the sex sound painful, then gives you a second smirk when you remember that it means "pound (£)" in American.

#MeToo always felt awkward and not well thought out.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#708

Post by cypherpunks01 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:03 PM UTC

What did the girl function say to the boy function?

I just don't see this recursion going anywhere, we keep having the same arguments. Please don't call me anymore.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#709

Post by timdiller » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:03 PM UTC

The programmer sets two cups on his nightstand, one full of water in case he gets thirsty, the other empty, in case he doesn't.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#710

Post by jar3624 » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 3:03 PM UTC

rvense wrote: post #527

I went to a NodeJS party one time but I didn't like it, only one person could have fun at once. Then I went to an Erlang party, and it was just a bunch of nerds at separate tables passing notes to each other about how much fun they were having. But the weirdest was the Haskell party. Nothing happened for six hours and then suddenly everyone said "Well, that was fun!" and went home...

funny stuff. got the Nodejs (single threaded) and Erlang (message passing) jokes but not familiar with Haskell.. whats joke there ...