Some tips: What are you spending your time on? TV? Lawn work? Date nights? Going out? Commuting?
Outsource the lawn work. Quit watching TV. If you have shows you watch with your significant other, then take a laptop in and work casually while you're watching. If you have more than a few shows a week, then you might need to consider cutting back.
If you have a long commute, stop it. Either move or find a different job. Another popular suggestion is to take mass transit and work on the way, but in my opinion that time is too interruptable (YMMV) - between other passengers, having to stand up for the elderly, change stations, make sure that you don't miss your stop, etc., my tack was to eliminate the commute altogether.
Ultimately it's your life obviously, and only you can say what can and can't be cut out, but if you honestly can't cut out anything to make more time for your dreams, then perhaps they're just hobbies? That isn't meant to be a critique, but if you can recognize that you have a programming hobby, it might turn out to be more enjoyable than always fretting about how to find time for them.
Of course I wish there was more time in the day, and I'm sure I don't get as much done as somebody with less family obligations, but I still get plenty of things done. While I've certainly been in the same boat you're in, what I ultimately realized was that my problem wasn't time, but about making effective use of it, and committing to a single idea to completion.
I've started a million projects that will probably remain unfinished, all the while lamenting that I didn't have enough time to get them all done. When I found my first spurt of productivity was in realizing that nobody has enough time to do everything they want, and that in trying, I wasn't effective at getting ANYthing I wanted. After that, I found that by rigidly focusing on one project at a time made me get a lot more done. When I hit stumbling blocks, I can take a break and think about them, so that the next time I sit down to code, I have a clearer picture of what the problem was, what the solution is, and how I'm going to use my time effectively.
If I run into a problem after I just started out coding, I start doing something easy, but productive. This past weekend, while watching football on Sunday (poor Ravens), I was able to implement asset bundling for my JS, CSS, write some fabric deploy scripts, optimize my PNGs and convert them to Sprites.
Anyway, like I said, I've had instances where I genuinely didn't have enough time, but I was able to reprioritize my life to get more time. I've had times where I just thought I didn't have enough time, but I was able to refocus to solve that problem. Side projects are a funny thing, because nobody's expecting you to get them done, and it's not paying your bills. If you need, get a project manager, or get your wife, or a friend, or somebody to hold you accountable to a deadline. Pick a date and give status reports, on ONE project. If things slip, they should be disappointed, and make you feel bad. Make yourself accountable, even if it's to somebody else. All of the above worked for me until I was able to be a more focused self-starter when money wasn't (directly) involved.
Good luck either way.