Ask HN: How can I learn to better command people's attention when speaking?

maybe borrow from Dwight? https://vlipsy.com/vlip/the-office-dwights-speech-bmeKIvGK

Seriously, I've had/have similar issues. Seems like maybe you don't project credibility within your groups? No fault of your own. Other commenters have touched on this but people really like to talk about themselves. A skill that I've tried to hone is going into "talk show" mode where I'm the host and I ask light, easy (and hopefully interesting) questions of someone else relative to what they are discussing. After doing this a bit, sometimes you can work your way into participating in the conversations in other ways. Like talking about your experience. It's not fair and I feel for you.

Social interaction is a back-and-forth game and you need to follow the rhythm of it in order not to cut in mid-sentence and also allow others to continue the discourse.

You can't expect others to want to hear your monologues about travel, they will cut you off to progress the conversation.

Instead of trying to hijack the other person's travel comment, confirm them like "Oh yea, I liked that place too!" in piece-meal fashion. People dislike when they notice you are trying shift the focus like you described.

Small speeches is boring, unless you have interesting stuff to share. You also being on a trip to the same place is not very exciting.

Be curious about the others and pay attention.

Follow up on stuff later, like "how did it go at the dentist?". People like when you remember things about their life.

Try your best to listen first, and then find common ground to connect with other people.

What is interesting to you may not to be to them.

Maybe they just don’t like you (a larger social problem to solve)

But that’s not very helpful advice then. Basically you’re saying water is wet.

What you are describing is that other people around you are having a conversation, then the moment something you can relate to is talked about, you start talking about yourself. Do you really not see the problem? Seriously, do you think talking to someone is about each person talking about themselves in turn?

Sure, people love talking about themselves. But you don't even pretend that a conversation is anything but an opportunity for talking about yourself. Why do you believe that anyone would like to talk to someone like that?

Even in your example you say how annoying it is that someone interrupts you and talks about themselves, but somehow you ignore that you did the exact same thing just a minute earlier.

You aren't trying to have a conversation. You are trying to talk about yourself and people react exactly how you would expect.

>I think the saddest part of all this is that even my wife's attention drifts off most of the time I try to talk to her.

Me too.