Try to eat well. I had no 'dietary education' from my family (basically it was an "eat what you like, when you like") and at 44 I fiscally felt so bad that I went to my doctor saying "I need to be checked as I think I have something really bad". I went through a number of checks and I was fine. This was also worsened as I am not obese, so I did not connect in a first instance my feeling bad with my eating habits. I d…
Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
71–80 of 312 posts
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#72My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all.
People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want.
My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding right in front of my face until I've spent twenty minutes finding, then cleaning, my glasses.
My wife has heard all of my jokes and all of my excuses. She now criticizes the former and laughs at the latter, instead of the other way around.
My friends sound like cranky old sticks-in-the-mud who wish they could turn back the clock to a time that wasn't nearly as wonderful as they claim to remember it was.
A trip to the supermarket now tires me out and instead of going out with (surviving) friends, I really look forward to taking a nap on the couch. Really.
The celebrities I recognize are senile and/or decrepit. The ones who are currently popular are appalling.
I don't have enough money to retire but dream of it every day (See the above comment about my boss).
Life is fantastic, except when it's not. Whichever it is now, pretty soon, it will be the other one.
My advice: Pay attention.
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#73Seek out experts in the fields you're interested and start a correspondence with them and meet them if possible. Ask their advice about things that interest you and that they are experts in.
Many times in your life you will be faced with a choice between the hard road and the easy road. Most people take the easy road to mediocrity. You can further distinguish yourself, learn a lot more, gain more skills, and grow tougher by choosing the hard road.
Learn something thoroughly. If you are an expert at something you will be in demand. Generalists and jacks-of-all-trades get a nice, broad perspective and can make connections between fields that narrow specialists can't, but usually it's more feasible for specialists to broaden their horizons than for a generalist to become a real expert, especially later in life.
Be persistent. If you can master the skill of doing that which will improve your life and the lives of others no matter how unpleasant or boring that task is, especially over the long haul, then you will accomplish much more than most, who tend to easily give up and move on to something else.
Related to this, whenever you start something that will take a long time to finish, expect that there will be boring, frustrating periods where everything will seem hopeless. Plan well ahead of time what you'll do to overcome them when you'll encounter them. This is a place where your mentors and experts in the field can help, as you can ask them for advice when you run in to a roadblock.
Surround yourself with people who bring you up, not try to drag you down to their level or who are completely unmotivated. Always try to be around people who are smarter than you, who are better than you at something you're interested in, and who you can learn from and be inspired by.
Don't study for the test, but value knowledge for its own sake, to learn useful skills, and to improve yourself. This connects to the next crucial point:
Read A LOT. You can gain many lifetimes of experience through books. Real books, not blog post and tweets. It would not hurt to start by reading through "the classics", but often lists of classics overlook much excellent foreign literature, so try to seek out the best of what different cultures have to offer.
Travel (when the plague is over). Few things can open your mind to what is possible, let you meet fantastically interesting people, have unforgettable experiences, learn about other cultures and ways of being, and open up new opportunities for you than travel.
On the subject of travel, I would advise you to go off the beaten path and avoid super touristy areas. Stay in hostels.. it's a fantastic way to meet people and can save you a ton of money too. Don't try to see too much at once, and try to stay in one place for a good week or two, if you can, instead of doing 7 countries in a weekend.
Once you've traveled a while and got a taste of many different countries you're bound to find a favorite. Try living there for a year or two. You'll get a perspective on the place that a quick visit will not give you, and let you use it as a base for exploring other places in the area, and you'll gain even more valuable connections there that you couldn't as a mere tourist.
Learn some foreign languages. This is yet another way to make great connections and get to appreciate other places and cultures at a level you couldn't if you were just monolingual. It'll also open you up to the literature of other countries on a level you just can't get by reading it in translation. Many books don't even have translations, so you'll be at an advantage there too.
Learn to like yourself, enjoy your own company, and be your own best friend. Always seek out new subjects to learn and new teachers to learn from. A great teacher can make anything interesting.
Exercise and take thorough stock of what you're eating to make sure you don't have any nutritional imbalances. This can greatly affect your mood and energy levels, and ultimately let you live a lot longer and with many fewer debilitating conditions than you'd have otherwise. A sure way to physical misery is to not take care of your body.
Finally, try to help people and be as useful to them as possible. Apart from this being the right thing to do, it's also a lot more fulfilling than being purely selfish, and people are usually glad to be of help to someone who's helped them. So by helping others you'll be helping yourself.
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#74Physically, my best advice is to take good care of your back and your teeth. These 2 things can make a huge quality of life difference once you are past 40. I would also add your eyes, but there is not a lot you can do about that one! Almost everyone needs reading glasses by 40. Glasses suck, but you get used to it. Psychologically, the best I can say is to forgive yourself for any stupid things you did when you were…
How loud is too loud? A rule of thumb is that if you walk around with earbuds and can clearly hear a podcast while standing next to a busy street, it is loud enough to damage your hearing.
Hearing loss is a risk factor for dementia. As people lose their hearing it becomes harder to engage with their friends and family which speeds cognitive decline.
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#75At this point of my life, I can definitely say my outlook will change in 20 years. 20 years ago I would have thought my belief systems to be set in stone more or less. If this is true, you will miss a whole lot of personal growth. It may depend on the person but I've certainly developed a whole lot more empathy and benefit of the doubt for people I would not have had in the past. I've also learned the world is a whole lot harsher and nicer than many would report, and humanity/society is a very complex thing. 99.9% of the world wants to hug you, not hit you, is something I always try to keep in mind.
A lot of this is based on what you expose yourself to though, so I've noted it's pretty easy to "grow" in the opposite direction if you never get out of your "early 20's" bubble of high school friends, or if you get "stuck" in a such a rut early on in life too scared to make the next step.
The largest lesson I think I've learned is that almost all my regrets have to do with inaction vs. action regardless of outcome. I highly regret many things I was too lazy/scared/talked out of doing, but even the things that turned out (at the moment) absolutely horrible that I actively participated in with my best effort I do not regret now in the least. At the worst some were learning experiences, most turned into (via completely unexpected ways) amazing experiences and opportunities. Note that this can mean almost anything - relationships, work, life experiences, travel, etc.
I guess all I can really give as 100% "for sure" advice is I have never regretted anything I've truly given 100% of my effort into. I've only regretted the moments where I've half-assed something. And this is regardless of outcomes. If I can go to my grave saying I did my best and tried to make my tiny corner of the world better - I'll be quite happy.
That and the mundane daily positive personal habits you can get into the earlier the better. You make yourself a far more attractive partner if you take basic care of yourself like doctor and dentist visits, basic daily hygiene, and at least making an attempt at eating healthy/being active. Others have covered this far more than I have, but I certainly endorse their advice. I simply wanted to point out it goes beyond your own personal health - your health is important to others in your life and for me at least it was easy to forget that for some time.
Also something I haven't seen said a lot here - surrounding yourself early with positive friends who share your values/aspirations in life is exceedingly important. I firmly believe in the "you are the average of your 5 best friends" theory.
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#76Try to eat well. I had no 'dietary education' from my family (basically it was an "eat what you like, when you like") and at 44 I fiscally felt so bad that I went to my doctor saying "I need to be checked as I think I have something really bad". I went through a number of checks and I was fine. This was also worsened as I am not obese, so I did not connect in a first instance my feeling bad with my eating habits. I d…
There is nothing silly about this “diet”. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or silly for it. This is how humans evolved. There are dozens of health benefits to eating once per day (or less). We are chronically over fed and under nourished. Fasting or OMAD like you describe is about as close to a cheat code for life as I’ve found.
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#77Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#78What's it like to be old? My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all. People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want. My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding r…
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#79What's it like to be old? My boss is younger than I am and is absolutely sure he knows more about my job than I do, even though I've been doing it since before he was born and he never did it at all. People on TV keep trying to sell me stuff like Metamucil, some new kind of cane or similar silly gadget, or a scam investment, none of which I want. My grandkids can't understand why I can't read things they're holding r…
Can you please expand on that advice? What should we be paying attention to?
Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?
#80Physically, my best advice is to take good care of your back and your teeth. These 2 things can make a huge quality of life difference once you are past 40. I would also add your eyes, but there is not a lot you can do about that one! Almost everyone needs reading glasses by 40. Glasses suck, but you get used to it. Psychologically, the best I can say is to forgive yourself for any stupid things you did when you were…
One thing I'll add to this is to take care of your hearing. Some age-related hearing loss is inevitable, but you can reduce the amount of hearing loss you'll experience by minimizing your exposure to loud sounds. How loud is too loud? A rule of thumb is that if you walk around with earbuds and can clearly hear a podcast while standing next to a busy street, it is loud enough to damage your hearing. Hearing loss is a…