71–79 of 79 posts
Save your money. Live to the lowest standard you can. I had my business start to fail while my second was born. I thought I wouldn’t recover it. I did. It is survivable. I now have three, but my income is still significantly down. Thriftiness and creativity will do you wonders. Budget and save, even if it’s a little bit. Some wise financial advice I received as a young man went like this... Those that make little but…
Thanks
Edit: We just came back from a long walk out. At first I was quiet and awkward. Then I talked about it and handled it better. I even told her how I asked the HN community for help and how it helped me. It turns out she did the same in some mom's community. The advice she we got was completely different. Hers were things like 'take a cute pic'. Mine were more practical and what I wanted to hear. Even though some of th…
My advice is work hard. Knowing you have provided for your family is one of the great joys of life. Whether that means the $20 second birthday dinner you paid for or helping your twenty year old through uni. Provide what needs provided.
My journey was being the photocopy guy in a school, advertising fixing computers in the newspaper at night, getting a degree with the Open University, being an IT Technician and now leading an Infrastructure Team for a saas company. I also have a sideline which my company let’s me work on one day a week. Do what you have to do :-)
On a non-monetary note, here's some advice I gave my brother recently. (My daughter is now 15 months old, and I was thinking about what advice I wish I'd been given before she was born): 1) Remember at all times that no matter how tired you are, your partner is almost certainly much more tired. Basically, give her a free pass for the first few months, if not longer. (The hormonal changes a few days in are no fun eith…
- Not leaving the baby alone especially when she cries, is simply one of the most important things. The first year is the time of developing the confidence. I recommend this: https://www.parentingscience.com/strange-situation.html
- Later, at age of 1..2 years: limits, rules will be more important. Without limits the child would not feel safe, and often tends to put control in her own hands, which is not her responsibility at that age. Also see: "fear of losing control". IMHO its especially hard if you've done right all the 1st year. :)
- Playing with her is a lot more important than giving toys.
- Tantrum is not a problem, even if it lasts for 30-40 minutes. It is an emotional expression, saying something like "Help, I lost the attachment to you!" A good limit for example: She must not hurt anybody, but expressing emotions is allowed.
- Screen, phone, tablet, Youtube, etc. is forbidden until 5 years, later time-limited (if inevitable). I know that a lot of people are opposed.
Yes, being a parent is challenging.
Regarding consistent income, one of the companies I work for offers part-time, fully remote contractor work conducting technical interviews. I use it as a way to keep a stable income while I pursue riskier ventures outside of that company and a lot of the folks working on the platform have very young families. I plan to use it as my sole income when I start a family of my own. It might be a good fit for you since it sounds like you'd want to continue doing your own contract work.
It pays $100 USD per 90-minute interview -- if this type of thing is interesting to you (or anyone reading, for that matter) -- feel free to send me an email! Details are in my profile.
Getting the baby to sleep through the night is something you want to do as soon as possible.
Your also going to want to get really good at time management. With one kid, you are allowed one hobby. Once you have two kids you can have a hobby once in a blue moon.
If you can get a stable gig, I would recommend it. Diaper prices recently went up.
On a non-monetary note, here's some advice I gave my brother recently. (My daughter is now 15 months old, and I was thinking about what advice I wish I'd been given before she was born): 1) Remember at all times that no matter how tired you are, your partner is almost certainly much more tired. Basically, give her a free pass for the first few months, if not longer. (The hormonal changes a few days in are no fun eith…
This is good advice. I've got 7 kids and can verify this. To add a bit more to it, teach your babies how to fall asleep without you rocking them for hours. It's a skill and one few of them learn on their own. Your life will get incredibly easier once they're sleeping through the night and mom and dad can sleep through the night as well. A recommended book is 'On Becoming Baby Wise'. Worked for our 7 - all them were s…
Congratulations! One thing, not as major as some of what other commenters have mentioned but worth knowing, is that you should not feel guilty about buying used clothes/cribs/etc. for your kid. 1) most baby clothes get worn very few times before they're outgrown, so you can get them in good shape at garage sales or thrift shops 2) your baby doesn't care whether it is dressed stylishly or not, it just cares if it's co…
Go on Nextdoor and share your good news. Ask if there’s any hand-me-downs available. You’ll be surprised. The stuff people held onto but are now finally giving away is usually the good stuff that they really liked. Oh and congratulations!
Congratulations! One thing, not as major as some of what other commenters have mentioned but worth knowing, is that you should not feel guilty about buying used clothes/cribs/etc. for your kid. 1) most baby clothes get worn very few times before they're outgrown, so you can get them in good shape at garage sales or thrift shops 2) your baby doesn't care whether it is dressed stylishly or not, it just cares if it's co…
I saw that it was a perfect fit so I bought 10 more.
And then I had to return them because my wife wanted variety...