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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
681–690 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#682"Chuck Norris can instantiate an abstract class." :-)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#683A software engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are told. “They lost their sight saving our clubhouse last year, so we let them play for free.” The priest says, “I will say a prayer for them tonight.” The doctor…
Haha, yes, that is so typical us programmers. We always know best and ofcourse there is a simple solution that fixes everything without even having to code a single line. But what if they enjoy the feeling of the sun on the skin while golfing? What if they are not completely blind but can see dark/light shades? This makes it much easier to keep balance.
I think the joke is that we programmers don't consider such implied requirements.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#684An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
Ohoooo, that was a nice one !
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#685One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…
But then that becomes a paradox because the fact that the statement is useless makes it useful.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#686(Not my joke) At a recent real-time Java conference, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?" Among the forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite c…
I know this joke, but in the version I've heard it's mechanical engineering students instead of programmers, their professors instead of conference participants, and the aircraft itself instead of the flight control software.
But the structure is the same.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#687Three logisticians just finished dinner, and the waitress comes up and asks "do y'all want dessert?" The first logistician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The last says "yes, we would."
The first two logisticians, each being a flawed human capable of error, might have answered "I don't know" despite not wanting dessert.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#688Earlier quoted context omitted.
Could you share an example of this? I could be misinterpreting this but say you're building a survey system and you need to keep track of answer types (e.g. text, date, etc) and the answer itself, how can you collapse that into one field?
Your thermos does not have a switch which you must set to "hot" or "cold" before inserting a liquid, handles solids as well as liquids, and doesn't require you to even think where the theshold might lie between the "hot" and "cold" settings. Instead it just does its best to prevent an energy exchange in either direction without having to even know the variables involved. And the "same subroutine" is basically used fo…
Dijkstra’s EWDs are full of examples of thinking about problems mathematically instead of operationally and then deriving elegant procedures.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#689I'm a little late, but here goes.
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
(None. It's a hardware problem)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#690An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…
Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.
so many poor poor redditors are going to have trouble feeding their children because of this tragic joke piracy ;(