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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#671

Post by wraptile »

neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

Agree but the flaking culture is too normalized right now, at least in the west. Nothing is more demotivating than majority of people just not coming and doing it in such a non-chalant manner. It's really not fun to put all that work and people don't take the invitation seriously to the point where they jusut ghost the event.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#672

Post by gsf_emergency_6 »

PaulHoule wrote: post #341
aleph_minus_one wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. This is the wrong model: Sitting (alone) at home and working on program code or reading scientific textbooks does have a reward. Many things for which you go outside of the house or where you inte…

My son is comparing every alternative to what he can accomplish by staying home and practicing guitar. However, we are trying to start an anime theme song cover band (e.g. "Upstate NY's most energetic opening act") for which he's going to play Bass, Rhythm or Lead as needed and I'm going to be the Kitsune/Band Manager/Mascot.

I have been meaning to (get LLM) to read this and others of his

https://www.amazon.com/Yourself-First-Chinese-Nishimura-Hiro...

apparently a lie-flat manual for Chinese and Japanese Gen-Z

Founder of 2chan who reverse took over 4chan in a pattern which should be familiar to you :)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiroyuki_Nishimura

I've heard it said that Swedish and Japanese cultures are more aligned than is usually appreciated

https://archive.ph/2020.05.30-154951/https://hbr.org/2013/09...

Especially this

>Balance explicit and implicit communication. Too much explicitness can lead to mistrust; too much implicitness can result in misunderstanding.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#675

Post by codebje »

HansHamster wrote: post #667
neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

> You have to be the one who reaches out. But that's the whole issue. Who am I supposed to reach out to? The 2 people at work I occasionally talk to because they happen to sit in the same office as me?

Those two people might be a start, and it's a low barrier to their participation to say you want to try a nearby cafe for lunch tomorrow if they're interested.

Longer term: make opportunities to occasionally talk to other people. Join a club, join a fitness group of some kind, take a class at your local library. It's got be something in person with enough repetition with the same people that everyone involved can overcome inertia enough to talk.

Try to say 'yes' should an occasional contact invite you to something, because it's pretty common that you won't get asked a second time if you pass on the first - I assume that's because we're all scared stiff that no-one likes us.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#676

Post by protocolture »

> who don't feel that they can join any local groups

Crux of the issue right here. Idiots online keep blasting into their eyeballs that they are worthless and society has already collapsed. All they need to do is go down the road and join a club or a church or something.

Especially for users of this website. Almost all clubs are in dire need of a webmaster.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#677

Post by Twisol »

HansHamster wrote: post #667
neilk wrote: post #438

You have to be the one who creates things to do. Really, that’s it. You want to play D&D together, you host and DM. You want to just hang out, you reach out and propose what you’re doing. You want more purposeful and meaningful time, join a volunteer group you vibe with. Even if it’s meeting for coffee. You have to be the one who reaches out. You have to do it on a regular cadence. If, like me, you don’t have little…

> You have to be the one who reaches out. But that's the whole issue. Who am I supposed to reach out to? The 2 people at work I occasionally talk to because they happen to sit in the same office as me?

I need to take a heaping spoonful of my own advice here, but: yeah, kind of yes. You don't have to think of them as the people you've been searching all your life for, but to meet people, you need a source of people to draw from. Those two people you talk to on a semi-regular basis are entry nodes into the social network.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#678

Post by anshumankmr »

Imustaskforhelp wrote: post #519

Can we please make this HN discussion stay open forever. This is one of those threads which has clicked me the most. I thank the creator of this a lot. A lot of these comments are super insightful and I wish to talk but I feel and explain my situation but I always sometimes feel like it takes a mental toll. I sincerely love this discussion and have gone I think 75% aruond and its so great to see people similar to us…

Could have it be an automated monthly thing, like the who's hiring,who's wanting to be hired posts.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#680

Post by koakuma-chan »

Imustaskforhelp wrote: post #519

Can we please make this HN discussion stay open forever. This is one of those threads which has clicked me the most. I thank the creator of this a lot. A lot of these comments are super insightful and I wish to talk but I feel and explain my situation but I always sometimes feel like it takes a mental toll. I sincerely love this discussion and have gone I think 75% aruond and its so great to see people similar to us…

I skimmed through this and it's mostly people suggesting to go to church or to volunteer, as always.
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