Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

661–670 of 905 posts

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#661

Post by carapace »

"Computer science could be called the post-Turing decline in the study of formal systems." (Dijkstra, I think.)

"Calling it Computer Science is like calling surgery 'knife science'." (Also Dijkstra, I think.)

"Artificial Intelligence is when the machine wakes up and asks, 'Hey, what's in it for me?'."

"There are two hard problems in computers: naming, cache invalidation, and off-by-one errors." (Funny 'cause it's true.)

"Which will attain self-awareness first, Wolfram or Wolfram Alpha?" (A little mean-spirited, perhaps, but funny. I respect Dr. Wolfram, I suspect he's one of the people that, a thousand years from now, folks will still be talking about when you and I are long forgotten.)

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#663

Post by elwell »

Abimelex wrote: post #468

My favorite: ===================== A Computer Programmer finds a frog by the side of the road. The frog says, "I am actually a Princess! If you kiss me, I'll revert back to my human form and be forever grateful?", the programmer smiles and puts the frog back in his pocket. Again, the frog says, "But I really am! I would even marry you if you kiss me and turn me back into a human!", the programmer chuckles and puts th…

I thought the punchline was going to be, you know you're a programmer if you get hung up by the second sentence. How can he "[put] the frog *back* in his pocket." the first time after finding it by the road?

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#664

Post by amit9gupta »

As virtual reality simulators assume larger roles in helicopter combat training , programmers have gone to great lengths to increase the realism of the their scenarios, including detailed landscapes and — in the case of the Northern Territory’s Operation Phoenix — herds of kangaroos (since groups of disturbed animals might well give away a helicopters position).

The head of the Defense Science and Technology Organization’s Land Operations/Simulations division reportedly instructed developers to model the local marsupials’ movements and reaction to helicopters.

Being efficient programmers, they just re-appropriated some code originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli, changed the mapped icon from a soldier to a kangaroo, and increased the figures’ speed of movement.

Eager to demonstrate their flying skills for some visiting American pilots, the hotshot Aussies “buzzed” the virtual kangaroos in low flight during a simulation. The kangaroos scattered, as predicted, and the Americans nodded appreciatively . . . and then did a double-take as the kangaroos reappeared from behind a hill and launched a barrage of stinger missiles at the hapless helicopter. (Apparently the programmers had forgotten the remove “that” part of the infantry coding).

Source: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/shoot-me-kangaroo-down-spo...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#665

Post by mijoharas »

yread wrote: post #426

It's a bit more mathematical then programming but aren't we all just shitty mathematicians anyway: Little John goes to school for the first day. The teacher wants to assess what do the kids already know so she asks "Who knows how much is 1+2?". Little John raises his hand and says "I don't know how much is 1+2 but I do know that it's the same as 2+1 as addition is commutative over the monoid of natural numbers"

I've got a related joke.

A mathematician walks into the room looking distraught. His wife asks him what's wrong, and he says he's worried their child has a learning disorder.

She asks why. He says he was trying to teach their child how to add, but he couldn't even understand zermelo-frankael set theory, so there was no way he'd learn how to add numbers before kindergarten.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#668

Post by dariusj18 »

mPReDiToR wrote: post #576
dariusj18 wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

C:##

As an Englishman, that symbol is "sharp" (or hash) which does two things. It makes the sex sound painful, then gives you a second smirk when you remember that it means "pound (£)" in American.

I guess it would prevent that kind of misunderstanding if the joke was written "C:££", but then again, the slight misreading I think adds to the joke when it is gotten.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#669

Post by elwell »

troutpanda wrote: post #170

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…

> and with that, they vanish.

I feel like that was the most hilarious part, and the joke could have ended there as like an anti-joke of sorts. I like how crazy it got with the "FOOLS" part. Unexpected...

Post reply on HN