Earlier quoted context omitted.
Where is it? I didn't get it.
UDP packets aren't guaranteed to be received - hence, "you may not get it".
And so the bartender ends up throwing the priest out along with the packets!
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
651–660 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#652A programmer, an engineer, and a physicist are in adjacent hotel rooms. Each has a pitcher of water beside the bed. A fire starts in the wastepaper basket in each room. The physicist wakes up, sees the fire, estimates exactly how much water is needed to put it out, and pours exactly that amount from the pitcher, dousing the flames. The engineer wakes up, sees the fire, pours the entire pitcher of water on it, then re…
I know it with "The mathematician's bin was full, so he lit it on fire, reducing the problem to one with a known solution".
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#653One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
As much as I like the joke and of course understand the analogy, I don't see how, from this conversation, the programmer comes to the conclusion that he has to solve the managers problem. The manager just asked, the programmer gave a technical correct answer and the manager replied that it doesn't help him. But at no point was the programmer expected to solve the managers problem nor has he blamed him so that it's "h…
I think it plays around a common case of a manager saving their ass in front of superiors by shouldering the blame on an unsuspicious employee (“what were you doing all these months, what’s the state of the project, and how are you planning to deliver?”). With time the latter becomes experienced enough to not take the blame, and detects these attempts easily, because it is always happen to be “their” fault.
(Sorry if that was obvious and you meant something else.)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#654There's an old Joel on Software one related to string concatenation: Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. "That's pretty good!" says his boss, "you're a fast worker!" and pays him a kopeck. The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. "Well, that's not nearly as go…
Now this would be funny if it did not bring up painful memories. :-)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#655Earlier quoted context omitted.
Could you share an example of this? I could be misinterpreting this but say you're building a survey system and you need to keep track of answer types (e.g. text, date, etc) and the answer itself, how can you collapse that into one field?
Your thermos does not have a switch which you must set to "hot" or "cold" before inserting a liquid, handles solids as well as liquids, and doesn't require you to even think where the theshold might lie between the "hot" and "cold" settings. Instead it just does its best to prevent an energy exchange in either direction without having to even know the variables involved. And the "same subroutine" is basically used fo…
I think this is one of the areas that functional programming naturally steers the programmer in the right direction.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#656Two elderly women are talking. One of them admits after marrying three times, she's still a virgin. "How is that possible?" asks her friend. "Well, the first one was too old and couldn't do it. The second was gay and wouldn't do it". "The third one was a computer salesman and all he did was sit on the edge of the bed telling me how great it was going to be." (From the 70's days of the million-dollar mainframes)
Then she married a lawyer and finally she got fu**d
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#657Earlier quoted context omitted.
So the programmers joke here is the silent nod to jamie zawinski, as a maths savvy guy who is bartending? https://www.jwz.org/about.html
Don't click this link, copy and paste it. JWZ redirects clicks from HN.
How exactly does a redirect like that work? I didn't know links provided context when loading the subsequent page.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#658Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?
The limits are the shackles of oppression, the integral is the proletariat and switching is disavowing capitalism and seizing the means of production.
I shall never look at calculus the same way again. :) Thank you, comrade!
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#659A programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
Now the programmer just waits till the stack blows up to get his free drink.
That's how you get out of the simulation.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#660[deleted]