641–650 of 653 posts
If someone doesn't take it personal, isn't that a sign that he/she doesn't care too much? Speaking for myself: I wouldn't desire to be disinterested in my work.
The best way is to take a break, this makes it easier to evaluate the information in it's proper context.
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> Personally I believe members of that group to be below valueless. Well, this seems like an extreme attitude that doesn't account for a large swath of how the world actually works, and is often gotten to that point by personal bias and not questioning beliefs constructively. Its flawed because its an overgeneralization. To provide an example, are there people that have been wrongfully convicted. Have any of those pe…
You’ve missed the point, but also helped support their point. The comment was about criminals that rape and murder - as in people that perform those actions. Whether society accurately captures and properly deals with those people is an entirely different subject. The fact society even has to do so is a net negative
it is not you! i think most of the people feel the same way. at least i do
i suspect that in your case a review is mandatory as well as fixing its comments.
from my perspective a review should be optional. You should ask for a review if needed and ask whomever you consider worth making it. You should be responsible for your code and have authority to change it without any PRs.
1) Professionals in your sphere: Take as much critics from professionals in your sphere as you can. Sometimes you need to even pay for this. Analyse and go forward. The more mistakes you will make the faster you will reach your goal. Act it as a game.
2) All others: Just tell them magic words: "This is only your opinion, Thanks!" and do nothing.
Be happy )))
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There’s a few things I see in your post. One is an implied notion of objective rankings of worth of humans, and binary labels for people. Your post explicitly categorized “all criminals” and “all my friends” at disjoint sets. I can’t speak for your friends, but many of mine are “criminals” in the sense of disregard for drug laws. If you’re willing to sweep minor traffic violations under the heading “criminal” you’d p…
I don’t think there is an objective ranking of worths of humans. What is valuable is inherently subjective. Everyone has a different value system. However, I believe there is a large amount of overlap, especially in the extremes. Most people find murder and rape deplorable, for instance. That is the group I was referring to when I said “criminals”. Personally, I believe members of that group to be below valueless, i.…
Depending on how harshly one judges oneself is the reason for not handling criticism to ones failings. No one is perfect so one better be kind and try to learn from their mistakes and not take it on their ego.
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Conversations aren't pure textual exchanges and people aren't robots. Things like subtext, tone, word usage, appropriateness of timing, (like interrupting a presentation,) the volume of your voice, who else is present, the examples that you give and analogies you make to explain yourself, and plenty of other factors weigh into how something lands. If someone wants to conversationally bully someone or make them look u…
Part of the issue is that "Polite" in american has trended towards indirection. "I'm not sure that was the best choice" is American for "That absolutely was not the best choice and must be reverted immediately" .
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Stopping myself from replying immediately has saved my bacon more than a few times.
Another good approach: Write down that email/ message in a text editor but just leave it there for a day. Often, I'd realize that I don't want to send it at all. The emotion was processed and now it's fine. Sometimes, there is a valid point (e.g. because someone was rude in tone) and I'd just give that as feedback in a non-violent manner.
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Average parties, ok friend.
>Can a slacker goodfornothing McDonald's-working college dropout that only live day to day, party to party, feel self-worth or should they feel worthless? The person you posited has more self -worth, by definition , than the self -doubting programmers in this thread. Precisely because they are getting by while doing something much less "meaningful" or "useful" (as evaluated by others ) than a job in software engineer…
I'm always learning how to do it better.
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>Can a slacker goodfornothing McDonald's-working college dropout that only live day to day, party to party, feel self-worth or should they feel worthless? The person you posited has more self -worth, by definition , than the self -doubting programmers in this thread. Precisely because they are getting by while doing something much less "meaningful" or "useful" (as evaluated by others ) than a job in software engineer…
You can feel whatever you want to feel. That doesn't mean it translate to anything in reality.
Absolutely true and exactly my point: while you're feeling what others want you to feel, you're missing out on feeling things that do translate to actual, valid insights about your reality.
For example, this whole absurd notion of "self-worth" that we're discussing here. It's there to scam you into thinking about yourself what others think about you - even though they're not in your shoes, and may even have a vested interest in seeing you down.
Even the name of that concept is misleading (how is your self-worth dependent on your worth to others, unless you yourself make it so?). And here we are talking about "reality" as if human social reality is not predominantly a linguistic construct, and constantly subjected to these absolutely ridiculous abstract symbolic switcheroos, that people only fall for because they believe they have better things to do than get their thinking in order.
>You can feel whatever you want to feel.
But you can only want what you feel like wanting. So you're still trapped: desire is either intrinsic or mimetic, feelings are conditioned, yada yada.
And I'm pretty sure you can't actually "feel whatever you want to feel" - not without a Nozickian "experience machine" or years of advanced meditation practice, anyway.