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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#611

Post by [deleted] »

StavrosK wrote: post #598
whoisburbansky wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The "you learn limits in like, 9th grade" comment reminds me of this one: Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells he…

I don't get it :( Did she know the answer? Then why the confusion at the start?

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#614

Post by mst »

stavros wrote: post #587
stevage wrote: post #500

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?

The limits are the shackles of oppression, the integral is the proletariat and switching is disavowing capitalism and seizing the means of production.

That was completely unhelpful but also hilarious.

As such, a perfect russian joke.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#615

Post by prepend »

benjaminsuch wrote: post #577
mistersquid wrote: post #146

One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…

As much as I like the joke and of course understand the analogy, I don't see how, from this conversation, the programmer comes to the conclusion that he has to solve the managers problem. The manager just asked, the programmer gave a technical correct answer and the manager replied that it doesn't help him. But at no point was the programmer expected to solve the managers problem nor has he blamed him so that it's "h…

PM gave a jerk response denigrating the programmers attempt to help.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#616

Post by marcus_holmes »

MrPatan wrote: post #420

This is HN, I'm going to kill a joke instead: There is the classic: There are only two hard problems in computer science: Cache invalidation, naming things... and off-by-one errors! Ha ha ha I hate this joke. It takes one of the most insightful things ever said about the profession, makes it into a joke that isn't even that good, and now the only thing you rememebr about it is the punchline. Let's break it down: - Ca…

I like to think it's more insightful with the joke, because there's always some problem that you weren't expecting.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#618

Post by prepend »

ant6n wrote: post #486
bryanrasmussen wrote: post #458

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It sounds like they're in the middle of the Atlantic? Have I got it wrong, I must have because the programmer is supposed to be standing in a field. Wait - are they dead and in heaven!?!

Maybe a bug in a joke, perhaps the coordinates need fixing.

The programmer is messing with the PM.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#619

Post by MaxBarraclough »

hutzlibu wrote: post #245
mistersquid wrote: post #146

One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…

Thats a rehash of an old joke: I know it soviet style: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "in a balloon". The mathematician remarks, ah, he mu…

I'm reminded of a joke I heard from a talk by the philosopher Dan Dennett:

A philosopher takes his friend to a magic show. After the usual business of vanishing a few small mammals, the magician's assistant lies in a magic box, and the magician, with a dramatic flair, begins to saw through the box.

The philosopher's friend leans over and asks What do you think is really going on? The philosopher gives it a moment's thought and replies They're using illusionist skills to give us the impression that he's sawing someone in two, but really he isn't. The philosopher's friend, unsatisfied, asks Right, but how? The philosopher shrugs dismissively, That's really not my department.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#620

Post by christophilus »

dharmab wrote: post #28

A QA engineer walks into a bar and orders a beer. She orders 2 beers. She orders 0 beers. She orders -1 beers. She orders a lizard. She orders a NULLPTR. She tries to leave without paying. Satisfied, she declares the bar ready for business. The first customer comes in an orders a beer. They finish their drink, and then ask where the bathroom is. The bar explodes.

This is the first one that made me laugh out loud. My kids came over, “Can I see?” to which I replied “I’m a giant nerd.”
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