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Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

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Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#61

Post by mksteele »

dholowiski wrote: post #60

Don't live near where you are born just because you feel like you should. Do your research and move to a city that fits you. It doesn't matter how far away it is. Don't stay somewhere just because you feel tied to that place. I wish I had realized that 15 years ago.

Thank you for saying this! from a soon-to-be recent grad deciding where to move after college

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#63

Post by diminium »

"The adults in your world are lying to you. Yes, I said lying. LYING. The reason why they say what they say is to make their lives easier, not yours. They don't care for you as much as you think they do. They don't even care for each other as much as they say they do. They are lying. Even if it seems true, they aren't. They are just very good at lying to you and themselves.

The world is big, huge, and interesting. Don't think its as small as the adults want you to think it is. Don't even think its as small as your friends of the same age say it is. They are are just repeating other 'cooler' adults are saying. 'Cooler' adults are still adults. Chances are they too will end up being just like the adults who are lying to you right now. Stop thinking about them, go out there & explore!! See what's really out there.

And if you feel like giving up after exploring, don't. Stop staring at the ground, look up, open your eyes, and see the wonderful scenery your in. Will it be painful to try to look up? Of course! However, if you can overcome that pain and actually look up, you will see a marvelous sight that few other humans can see. A sight that is worth all the pain and troubles you will face in reaching it. Only then can you see the truth that exists in this world. Only then can you truly start your life as well.... you'll see :)

P.S. If it's not painful to try and look up, stop pretending your exploring!! Go out there and explore for real!"

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#64

Post by dholowiski »

mksteele wrote: post #61
dholowiski wrote: post #60

Don't live near where you are born just because you feel like you should. Do your research and move to a city that fits you. It doesn't matter how far away it is. Don't stay somewhere just because you feel tied to that place. I wish I had realized that 15 years ago.

Thank you for saying this! from a soon-to-be recent grad deciding where to move after college

Get the book "Who's your city". Don't just move somewhere because that's where you find a job. Spend a good amount of time and effort on finding the right city for you (the book explains why this is important). I so wish I had done this long ago - I've lived for 15 years in cities/towns where there is very little to no tech community, and it has been soul-crushing. My next move is a well thought out, planned and researched move - basically so i can be with more people like me.

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#66

Post by chamboo »

uhs wrote: post #47

23 now. I'd tell my 15 year old self to just commit suicide already because it doesn't get any better.

I'm really glad I didn't act on these same impulses when I was that age. It's really hard to keep going sometimes, but when you do, I think you'll look back and be very grateful that you never made that mistake. A lot of things seem or appear insurmountable, especially when you're younger, but I promise things work themselves out in some way or another. You just never know what the next day will bring. Even if you don't really think you will ever commit suicide (or even if you do), instead of wasting time thinking about it, do something that will get you out of your routine, even if it sounds stupid or boring. Many times something as simple as this has helped me shake feelings of hopelessness etc...

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#67

Post by jacknews »

diminium wrote: post #63

"The adults in your world are lying to you. Yes, I said lying. LYING. The reason why they say what they say is to make their lives easier, not yours. They don't care for you as much as you think they do. They don't even care for each other as much as they say they do. They are lying. Even if it seems true, they aren't. They are just very good at lying to you and themselves. The world is big, huge, and interesting. Do…

Oh dear, you're not a parent are you. The reason adults lie is because we want our kids to experience the life we dream of, not necessarily the one we have. Or at least, the best bits of what we have, without the pitfalls that we know are there, drugs, debt, etc. We understand some of the things we did and do wrong, and what we do right, and we want to give them the tools to avoid making stupid mistakes and focus on things that will bring them success. Sometimes that means being the boogeyman in order to force them to study or whatever, sometimes makes us appear naive by painting an idyll. But we do it for our kids, not for ourselves. You'll understand that when you have kids. But, your advice to "question everything" and "explore" is absolutely right. I would temper it with "some things just have to be done, and done the hard way. Grit your teeth, get it done, feel good about getting it done, and move to the next thing".

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#68

Post by LOLtampicoLOL »

BadassFractal wrote: post #57
hooande wrote: post #28

If I could talk to my younger self I would say: "All of the things that you care about are completely meaningless. The school assignments, girls, money for the weekend...none of it matters, not even a little bit. Gather knowledge on how to make things that help people. Start now and never stop." This question leads to another...why don't people tell these things to their kids? "You don't have to wait to grow up to do…

This is very relevant to me. As someone who's doing the SV startup thing full time, spending all of my waking hours on learning / doing stuff / meeting people, am I seriously not going to regret taking a dump on my 20s in 10 or 20 years? Am I not going to regret missing out on youth, girls, fun and so on, if I spend all of these years working on achieving my dreams?

Make a commitment to balance. I partied very hard in my teens and 20s and regret nothing. Some of my friends worked on professional degrees and are now late 20s early 30s trying to recover what they can of their youth. Another set of friends still pour their energy into partying but worry about money. For energetic people, the most important thing is balance. Work effectively, party hard, don't listen to too many people, be brave and don't make their concerns yours.

Re: Ask HN: What one thing would you tell your younger self?

#69

Post by orangethirty »

Nothing. I would not say a thing, because I would not understand. The reason most adults don't give out advice to younger people is that they lack the experience, scars, and wisdom to understand it. Plus, the person I am today is the result of the person I was back then.
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