61–70 of 74 posts
I'm not a manager, but I expect you get there through strong relationships and trust.
Going over somebody's head indicates you don't have a strong relationship with that person, and that you can't be trusted by a direct superior.
> I’d get less professional development potentially (verses leaving) but I could kick back more. I've left a few "imperfect" jobs that I've regretted, because the next job was worse than the one I left. IMO: Understand that no company is perfect: Unless you have extensive management experience or a multi-decade career, it's hard to build empathy for what your manager's job requires and their day-to-day challenges. In…
> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Typical nice guy response. I never said any of those things, that it was better to be a jerk or toxic, but you assume that I did.
> Say nice guys suck > Somebody disagrees! > "Typical nice guy response". Don't do this. This pattern is easy to spot and you instantly lose all credibility.
The difference is, I don't go around telling you what to do. Be a nice guy if you want.
I simply stated my way of thinking, but it angers the "nice guys" and I get attacked for it.
Oh, and you're not the gatekeeper of credibility, nor do I care how "credible" my opinion is to you (what does that even mean?). Credibility of opinions is just more "nice guy speak".
> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
How do you know whether someone is just genuinely nice, or nice-but-jerk as you explained it?
> I’d get less professional development potentially (verses leaving) but I could kick back more. I've left a few "imperfect" jobs that I've regretted, because the next job was worse than the one I left. IMO: Understand that no company is perfect: Unless you have extensive management experience or a multi-decade career, it's hard to build empathy for what your manager's job requires and their day-to-day challenges. In…
As I was going through some old papers, I found my offer letter from a previous job. I'd underlined a whole bunch of things and written questions in the margin to ask the HR guy. Things like, "who will I report to," and "what's the name of the team I'll be on?" Needless to say, in retrospect these were all red flags, and now I know how to spot a company that's not being run by grown-ups.
You might have to up your political game if you want positive change that would benefit you and the company.
Also, how many other layers of paycheck-collecting managers are there between you and the CEO? If there are too many, they might not care about competency and favor rapport, relationships, and leverage.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Say nice guys suck > Somebody disagrees! > "Typical nice guy response". Don't do this. This pattern is easy to spot and you instantly lose all credibility.
> Don't do this. This pattern is easy to spot and you instantly lose all credibility. The difference is, I don't go around telling you what to do. Be a nice guy if you want. I simply stated my way of thinking, but it angers the "nice guys" and I get attacked for it. Oh, and you're not the gatekeeper of credibility, nor do I care how "credible" my opinion is to you (what does that even mean?). Credibility of opinions…
Not credible and tedious to boot. I know you just learned of this "nice guy" conceit, and you're all excited about it, but I hope you grow out of it soon. Just because you have a new hammer doesn't mean everything is a nail.
> nice I'm reminded of a book I read once called "No More Mr Nice Guy" where it explains that "nice guys" are actually kind of jerks because they behave certain ways to try to manipulate people and they expect reciprocation. They live by a sort of unspoken code that they believe exists but which other people may or may not be aware of. When a "nice guy" doesn't get his way, he can become bitter and resentful. (I am u…
It is possible to be nice, considerate, and assertive with discretion and truthfulness.
Overvaluing "nice" above all else can lead to failure, an appearance of dishonesty, and a lack of respect.