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Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

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Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#61
post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good advice in general, but... > Don't be afraid to lie, your personal issues are nobody's business. Just say you traveled the world. Learn to lie convincingly, details matter! Agree, don't talk about personal issues, but, don't lie! Then you have to keep up the facade and it's exhausting. If you want to be honest, perhaps smile and say the last three years are behind you...

> "smile and say the last three years are behind you" No offense, but that would be a terrible answer. IF you really, really want to be honest, say you had medical issues, but that it is all fine now. No interviewer will dig deeper here, as it would be plain illegal to do so. Still, I think there are better answers than that. I'm sure the OP did SOMETHING in the last three years. Maybe you traveled abroad a bit, read…

Sure, this we can agree on :)

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#62
post #47
post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You could just dress well, colorful or freaky (essentially dress with more confidence) and get stared at as well if that's what boosts your confidence. My only point really is that they/whoever needs to find something that boosts THEIR confidence and not blindly follow things that worked for someone else in their specific situation.

There's nothing arbitrary about doing exercise to deal with depression, it's about as effective as therapy or pharmacological treatment, the same cannot be said about dressing well.

Yes. For some, according to the studies I've seen it's no magic cure that works for everyone, just as I said.

Plus there is an obvious issue of people putting their self esteem focus on something else they have little actual control about. That's not a sustainable solution on its own.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#63
Hi Hansor -- shoot me an email (peter.d.sherman@gmail.com) introduce yourself -- and I'll try to help you out!

What I'm going to tell you (but I'll try to summarize here!) is

No two employers are the same!

That is, if you go to 10,000 interviews -- no two employers will be the same!

No two employers will be the same in terms of:

-Interviewers' personalities

-Interview questions

-Previous experience expectations

-Job Expectations

-Salary

etc., etc.

In other words, if you have no other barometer, no other tool, no other filter condition available to you other than to apply for as many jobs as possible, and taking as many interviews as you can get (and as I'll explain if you email me, there are many tools that can help, both seen and unseen, both readily available and yet-to-be-realized -- but I can't enumerate/explicate/elaborate these concepts here for lack of space!), then minimally speaking, No two employers will be the same.

In other words, it's a numbers (statistical!) game!

Compare to dating, compare to sales...

Those are also statistical, AKA numbers games!

That is, the more "chaff" you can sort through -- the more "wheat" you can find.

Phrased another way, the more Willy Wonka candy bars you can open -- the greater your chance for finding a golden ticket!

But you will probably not need to go to ten million job interviews to generate a winner!

In the real world, in the absence of other factors which change the statistics; which change the odds -- 20 (twenty!) -- is a good number!

That's because there's something called "The Law Of 20"... basically in the absence of other factors which will change the odds, statistically if you go to 20 completely random people with a proposition (or groups -- in this case, the groups are hiring companies, employers) -- then on average, 18 of those will tell you to "go to hell" in no uncertain terms (AKA, give you a "no" answer with your proposition, in this case, for them to hire you), 1 of those will say "maybe", and one of them will be an enthusiastic "yes".

You go with the person or group (in this case employer) -- that's the enthusiastic "yes" vote.

This is, incidentally how Venture Capitalists do business -- for every 20 investments in companies, they know that on average 18 companies will fail.

One will moderately succeed but not pay off the other investments -- but one company (the 20th!) will be so wildly successful that it will completely pay off the lost investments in the other 18 companies AND make a ton of additional money!

So that's the "Law of 20"...

Shoot me an email (peter.d.sherman@gmail.com) (if it takes more than 3 days for me to respond then you've hit my spam filter -- don't send any links or email addresses in your email -- just a simple hello and greeting should suffice!)

Or reply with your email or some other contact method here on HN...

Anyway, I'm looking forward to meeting you!

-Peter

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#65
Reach out. Get coffee with people. Be curious about what people are doing, share your story ( which you are doing) tell people about what you are doing no matter how small, maybe attempt to to tell the story without it being full of sadness. I am not implying you should lie about anything but you can paint the picture a million different ways, so pick as fun a one as you can think of. I often found it things get a lot easier if the narrative in my head is just different than the one causing me pain.

Exercise of course.

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