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Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

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Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#61

Post by DANmode »

jimberlage wrote: post #53
g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

This is fascinating, thanks for sharing! Do you find that you and your coworkers typically agree on the definition of an unproductive Teams message?

If they're sending it, obviously not.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#62

Post by happytiger »

rendall wrote: post #60
happytiger wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s weird that an employee who opts out of noise specifically for productive work gets this treatment. Some of the most incredible programmers I’ve had the pleasure of working with were just like this, and I felt like it was my job as their boss to help them keep it that way. There’s a bias for visibility and not actual work that I think makes it really difficult for those on the spectrum or who have adhd or just di…

Do you hold daily standup or scrum?

I’m almost afraid to answer this because it’s pretty controversial.

Ime. Depends. If it’s in service to the work, and the developers find it useful, then sure. But I’ve seen teams work a whole lot of different ways and be successful.

But the important thing is that the team finds it useful.

There are plenty of ways to build a product or a company that doesn’t rely on a daily meeting.

Remember that Scrum doesn't care about the format: that's up to the developers to decide. Scrum only cares that people stay on the same page and most importantly are productive in helping move forward with open communication and collaboration to hit the sprint goals.

I’ve seen this meeting used by clients and executives to micromanage everything, and sometimes telling the “business owner” they aren’t invited to the meetings isn’t possible. For example, telling a non-technical, micromanaging startup CEO who’s just discovered the power of SCRUM while under pressure for a raise and feeling behind on their product delivery to sit down and just listen very easily. Or in some teams doing a daily meeting works only around releases and they don’t feel like it’s useful all the time. There are a lot of forms that works successfully, but everyone has strong opinions on what does and does not work.

You don’t want to be too prescriptive. What my experience has taught me is to have someone in charge of the product delivery — and then allow them to run the show with whatever support they need. That allows for a lot of flexibility while keeping accountability.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#63

Post by attemptone »

Mandatum wrote: post #54
g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

You will only be effective in a high performant environment. The way you conduct yourself is considered toxic by most people. I would press you to either make some consolations on your lack of response and ignoring of messages. Unless you’re in HFT or an environment that is not dependent on relationships but systems, like government.

It is very hard to ignore the instinct of replying to the toxic statement with a sarcastic "no u".

Nevertheless I'll try to put this in neutral terms. Hopefully I get my point across without sounding too punchy.

I'm at work to work. It sometimes feels like managers and companies put you in a double-bind. On one hand I am supposed to be a factory-line worker, solving ticket after ticket. Make whatever metric go up so to speak. On the other I'm supposed to be part of a "community", get involved, be proactive, show my brilliance and creativity..

I've found that I have to place heavy emphasis on the code-monkey side of things. Even if the internal communication is the other way around (e.g. by the usage of the word toxic). Because creativity happens for its own sake, shipping product is a second thought at best. We framed the market in rigid and mechanical terms. And Ii the end we have to abide to that sterility in order to succeed.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#64

Post by jimberlage »

g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

Working with these criteria sounds a bit like the experience of working with some outsourcing firms. This can work, but there’s a big upfront burden on whatever PM interfaces with the person/people who work this way.

I’m curious if you have seen how the companies you work for handle any of the following problems I’ve seen come with this working style:

- PM breaks down tasks with such granularity that it’s like they’re programming the people doing the work. They learn a programming language through a bootcamp and start doing some tickets themselves, and now you have a key product person who is likely to leave for a developer job.

- PM gets burnt out from dealing with behavior that would be considered extremely impolite on a regular basis.

- No PM you have or could hire is capable of breaking down tasks in a way they will get worked on or responded to, at which point you have to find another dev/firm.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#65

Post by g4zj »

jimberlage wrote: post #53
g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

This is fascinating, thanks for sharing! Do you find that you and your coworkers typically agree on the definition of an unproductive Teams message?

Not originally, no.

I've tried to explain, but despite being met with agreement regarding my perspective, the behavior would continue time and time again.

I find that simply not responding in such cases is the most effective action. Anything else feels like rewarding the behavior.

Note, however, that I do try and give them the benefit of the doubt. If it seems at all like they've tried to find answers or solve the issue themselves, have searched for and read related documentation, etc., and subsequently decided that my assistance is required, I am beyond happy to help. I really, truly, enjoy being helpful, but sometimes it feels like I'm being taken advantage of.

Most of the questions I get these days include a brief explanation of the effort made before contacting me, which I really appreciate. Needless to say, I absolutely do the same for others, even if they don't have the same expectation of me.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#66

Post by g4zj »

mkmcde wrote: post #49
g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

But does you ignoring messages for misc. work requests get escalated to your manager?

Yes, often this is the case.

Fortunately, my manager agrees that work requests should be submitted via official channels (i.e. the appropriate project management / issue tracking system).

I have good communication with my manager. I regularly ask for their feedback about my behavior, and if they think I should be handling situations differently. I always take any suggestions very seriously and either do my best to accommodate them or discuss my concerns openly so that I'm not putting myself in a difficult situation.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#67

Post by jimberlage »

g4zj wrote: post #65
jimberlage wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is fascinating, thanks for sharing! Do you find that you and your coworkers typically agree on the definition of an unproductive Teams message?

Not originally, no. I've tried to explain, but despite being met with agreement regarding my perspective, the behavior would continue time and time again. I find that simply not responding in such cases is the most effective action. Anything else feels like rewarding the behavior. Note, however, that I do try and give them the benefit of the doubt. If it seems at all like they've tried to find answers or solve the is…

The explanation of effort made bit is something we could all benefit from - I'm glad to hear that your coworkers are writing that down!

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#68

Post by LocalH »

wannacboatmovie wrote: post #57
LocalH wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To be quite honest, demanding an ADHD individual deal with focus-thieves on their own and claiming that it is "toxic" to set boundaries that enable them to do their best work is kinda like expecting a recovering alcoholic to work at a liquor store and saying that it's "toxic" for them to refuse to do so.

Except it is toxic; you can't redefine the behavior because of someone's affliction no matter how unfortunate that may be. If you have Tourette's with coprolalia, you can't go around the office yelling "cunt" at the top of your lungs and expect everyone is okay with it, or that you deserve an accommodation.

It's not toxic to say "all these distractions and interruptions stop me from doing what you pay me to do, here is what I need to do in order to perform my best work". It's toxic to tell that person that they're being toxic, which ADHD people tend to heavily internalize.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#69

Post by calamari4065 »

Mandatum wrote: post #54
g4zj wrote: post #26

I'm autistic, and quickly become very frustrated by distracting sounds and unexpected or unproductive interruptions. Unfortunately, this is a "me" problem, and I've found that I'm the only one interested in solving it. After years of carefully managing/challenging expectations of me, here's what my work situation looks like today. - I work 100% remotely. If I go into the office, I will only be interrupted constantly,…

You will only be effective in a high performant environment. The way you conduct yourself is considered toxic by most people. I would press you to either make some consolations on your lack of response and ignoring of messages. Unless you’re in HFT or an environment that is not dependent on relationships but systems, like government.

Incorrect. Demanding that autistic people change their entire personality to match your expected social norms is toxic and abusive behavior.

I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave. Why your opinion of "correct" behavior is the only possible valid option.

People like you have this assumption that autistic people somehow owe you. That you expect them to go through a great deal of stress and effort to act they way you want. If they do, you give them nothing in return. If they instead prioritize their own comfort and wellbeing, you give them abuse and call them toxic.

Edit: for perspective, telling an autistic person they're toxic for doing what they need to cope is the same as calling a person in a wheelchair toxic because everyone else has to walk slower to keep up. This is abuse and does real harm to people.

Re: Ask HN: How to deal with constant interruptions at work (with ADHD)

#70

Post by gtirloni »

calamari4065 wrote: post #69
Mandatum wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You will only be effective in a high performant environment. The way you conduct yourself is considered toxic by most people. I would press you to either make some consolations on your lack of response and ignoring of messages. Unless you’re in HFT or an environment that is not dependent on relationships but systems, like government.

Incorrect. Demanding that autistic people change their entire personality to match your expected social norms is toxic and abusive behavior. I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave. Why your opinion of "correct" behavior is the only possible valid option. People like you have this assumption that autistic people somehow owe you. That you expect them to go thro…

> I would press you to reflect on why you think you have the right to tell a stranger how to behave

Isn't that what OP is doing to coworkers?

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