Ask HN: Has anyone successfully started their career over in their 30s?

Best of luck. I like your odds.

This is really important. I just spent the last couple of months helping some people transition to the tech industry, and I'm seriously reconsidering whether I want to continue. It's demotivating when people don't have the drive to take initiative or follow through when you're volunteering your time to help them.

So OP, there's definitely people out there willing to give you a chance, but you need to show concrete proof that you are worth considering. Like the parent comment said, a record of goal-setting and progress would really help, maybe in the form of non-trivial personal projects or contributions to open source projects.

As far as the motivation aspect, talking to a therapist or career coach is a great idea. It's possible that your lack of motivation is not inherent, but rather a result of disillusionment from the bad experiences you've had. You created this post, so while not a huge step, it's a sign that you want to change. Build on that.

My M-I-L went back to school to become a teacher in her 40s and retired with a fat pension.

First, decide what you want to become.

To answer your questions:

| Is there any hope for someone like me?

See above

| Will tech co’s ever consider hiring someone like me?

I can't speak for bigco. I work right now at a small company, but I love it here. The focus is on the work. What's going to matter more than anything when you start applying again is your git and your grit. There are places out there where what they want is someone who can learn, who cares about the work their doing, and who's honest.

My interviewing strategy has been to be completely up-front about what I lack. This means a lot of interviews end quickly - which is a good thing! Once you're up to scratch on what you need to know to get into working in tech in the way you want to (like, you've built a thing or two of the type that you're applying to work on), you'll want to find the right fit, and you must resist the urge to upsell yourself on interviews. That way leads pain.

| Is there any reasonable path to starting over? / Where do I even begin?

This is going to depend on what you want to do, and how much runway you have to focus on teaching yourself to do it. For me, coming out of bartending / no tech experience at all, it took 4 years. I got SUPER LUCKY that covid hit when it did - it forced me to cloister and do nothing but learn for a year, which is what made the difference. You can choose to do this on purpose. It's a commitment and you have to make it a priority.

I would also recommend taking a look at the recurse center (1) - they were instrumental for me, and in many ways still are. It's a community that is good to be a part of - you will need help along the way and this is one place to get it. Do a full batch if you can.

Be extraordinarily wary of bootcamps. I've been told some are good - but I almost spent 10k on what looked totally legit (it was in the UC system) but on closer inspection was definitely not (they refused to provide a syllabus or list of instructors before I paid them half, turns out because they didn't actually know either of those things at the time).

For god's sake, pick something to learn / get in to that you love doing! This is tech, you can find someone to pay you to do it and you'll be better at it if you like what you do! Which means better everything - pay, satisfaction, culture. Don't just default to the one with the most jobs or the best pay.

Build stuff. Get your git packed with projects. Don't worry about curating them - if you get an idea start working on it and get it in there, it doesn't matter if you don't finish it. The point is to always be building and always be learning and to have a git history that reflects this.

Don't get stuck in a language, either. Play with rust and python and go and lisp and anything else you can get your hands on. Make programming a joy to do, not just a way to get the job done. Also, use an editor that makes the experience of programming fun / enjoyable. I love emacs for this but that's a matter of opinion.

Starting right now, make a monthly habit of checking the HN whoishiring posts, they drop on the first every month. I've found Kenny Kilton's whoishiring browser (2) to be really useful for this. Just to get a sense for what is out there and what you could be doing.

Stay the hell away from recruiters and places that have a byzantine beaurocratic approach to hiring. Those places are for folks that look good on paper, not the likes of us. You want your first round interview to be with an engineer or CTO or someone who's actively involved in running the ship - those folks can make the decision to take a risk on people in your position, and the other places will typically waste your time by filtering you out with an automated resume reader.

Find community. Keep coming back here. Engage until you understand. Ask dumb questions. Seek to understand.

I feel your pain. I know what it's like to feel like you missed the bus and everything is fucked. Trust me when I say that it's not. If you still have questions reply with them, I'll keep an eye on this thread. Good luck and happy hacking.

1 -https://www.recurse.com/

2 - https://kennytilton.github.io/whoishiring/