61–70 of 136 posts
If he was studying accounting would you worry if he wasn't having fun doing people's taxes at night? If he was studying chemistry would you worry if he didn't have a mad scientists lab going on?
Let your son live his own life.
I'm not a parent or an expert on life, but I sure do see a lot of programmers who love tinkering, but hate their job, hate tech in general, and spew nonsense micro services, constant rewrite, and reinvent js framework wheels endlessly, trying their best to treat work like a throwaway weekend project, as if playing with ideas mattered more to them than being a part of a quality product.
If I had to guess, just based on my increasingly biased view of the tech scene at the moment, he'll either hate programming and get bored, or be exactly the kind of dev I'd absolutely love to work with.
There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…
Both Indian and Chinese kids continue to excel in every industry, despite heavy involvement from parents. (and happy) OTOH, I've seen many White students raised by liberal parents with too much student debt (and depressed). So, unless there is data to prove that "letting 18 years old to make their own life changing decisions" on their own, we need to stop this overly progressive method.
I’m a college CS teacher. I would say if he were not doing well in his classes, then it might be a red flag. If it’s not an academic interest, a talent, nor a hobby, then it’s not a good fit. But since he is doing well, let him be, unless you talk to him and find out he’s doing it for the wrong reasons.
I had undiagnosed bipolar in college. I love coding, but people like you were always there to discourage me because I didn't have coder parents or whatever. Really messed with my confidence. Food for thought.
There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…
I eventually became a software developer, and it took years of catching up and self education alongside working shitty jobs.
If he might end up working in computing, I think it's even more valuable to explore other interests and activities in college and beyond; he'll spend more than enough time sitting at a keyboard for work.
The comments that we don't criticize other professions for not devoting enough leisure time to their work discipline are also spot on.
TBH he'll be much more objectively successful in career/life if he puts lots of time into socializing -- Actually "doing hard programming work" lets you be a programmer, but "networking" lets you be a programmer's boss or executive. The party animals seem to bifurcate into like 80% incredibly successful people and 20% burnouts ten years later, even the ones that were total basket cases at the time And even with "pass…
Politics is an inescapable aspect of success in 'meatspace'. Socializing and being able to build a network easily is absolutely valuable and it's not something that comes easily in this industry (surprisingly enough). Combining that with passable technical skills will carry his son much farther than if he was a shut-in who could spit out algos in Rust on command.
There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…