61–70 of 78 posts
One thing that worked for me is having a kid. My concern about what other people think took a huge dive once I had 20 hours of things to do in a 16 hour day.
I remember talking to another parent at work that screwed up in front of the CEO and she said the same thing "I'm too busy to really care". It really turns the volume down on everything else.
Take this how you will, but maybe your impromptu answers are ‘wrong’ in some sense.
When I was younger I was very free with my opinions. As I’ve become older I’ve met more people and suffering off-the-cuff responses from others has opened my mind to my own B.S.
In part I’ve improved my speech, writing and thinking following my growing interests in philosophy and linguistics.
If nothing else, I’ve learned the phrase “word salad”.
[1] Admittedly, this is more or less required for leadership position in large organizations - but none of them have good management culture. They companies are usually rich and stable enough for management to become irrelevant and degenerate into Game of Throne-esque turf wars.
2. Do it a lot and the novelty will wear off, making it easier over time. No replacement for hours behind the wheel.
3. It's not related to anxiety, but the best book on public speaking I've ever read is "Ad Herennium", attributed to Cicero, but probably not written by him. I read it as a teenager and it changed me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorica_ad_Herennium
I was originally prescribed propranolol for my fear of flying. You can Google for the biological mechanism, but it essentially removes the physical symptoms from anxiety (racing heart beat, adrenaline rush, etc...).
I had a more pills than flights, so I started using them whenever I had to teach courses in industry as a consultant as well as I also suffered from stage fright (as does everyone, really, it is extremely normal).
It is absolutely incredible how much our anxiety and fear is actually anticipation of the onset of physical symptoms. On the beta blocker, if I made a mistake speaking I literally wouldn't skip a beat - my heart rate would stay the exact same, and I would be able to cooly correctly myself and move on.
The best part? I'm no longer afraid of flying or public speaking and don't even need to take the drug anymore to do either. Exposure to both of these things with the help of the beta blocker helped me overcome my fears almost completely and these days I can fly or speak publicly with no issues!
edit: An additional tip... While preparing, record yourself giving your presentation. Watching your recording will be very illuminating, I promise. You will cringe a lot at first, and then later want to re-watch sections because of how articulate you were. This is one of the absolute best practices one of my professors in engineer school taught us (he would record us presenting to him and our classmates, then ask us to watch and critique our own talks) and this practice has served me very well my entire career.
Take an improv class. Like 6 times a week you'll have to go up in front of a dozen other students. Just that repetition really helped my stage fright.
Answer is: "That's a great question". Let me refer to something I already said or say something pretty generic. Ok, next question.
I used to be incredibly shy and had extreme difficulty talking to strangers. When I attended a police academy, the instructors noticed it immediately and attempted to humiliate me until I dropped out. I didn't. Later I got a job that required speaking in front of groups - basically teaching mechanics & technicians how to diagnose and repair electrical/electronic problems in automobiles. I was still shy and anxious about speaking in front of others, but I did it anyway.
Several other people have mentioned Toastmasters. This is an organization that exists to help people gain the skills & confidence to speak in front of strangers. Or just your coworkers. Some companies host their own chapter of Toastmasters.
Several people below recommend toastmasters. Do it. https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club
They have been around for a hundred years, because they are good at it. There's nothing wrong with other approaches, but toastmasters is good at making nervous people comfortable. Toastmasters' meetings have short, improv speeches every meeting, so you can practice the thing you need work on. And you can get feedback, delivered kindly!
Improv is fine, too. I just find it a little scarier to get started in. And it doesn't have as much emphasis on "organize your thoughts". Of course, it's a lot of fun!!
Anything that gives you practice on what you aren't good at is good. Give lightning talks at small users groups. Hell, get a weekend job at Starbucks. Have a friend ask you questions like this, and answer them on your feet. Get up in the morning, and explain something to your mirror. Find the nearest small group of people, and summarize the responses given here!
Practice, practice, practice