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Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

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Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#61

Post by nasir »

lentil_soup wrote: post #4

I've been there some years ago. I also had a normal job + an hourly gig in the evenings + studying for a master degree. I'm not exactly sure what changed but I stopped caring about that race of needing to be productive 100% of the time. It's a fallacy, I think at some point I realised I'll be alright even if I lose everything, I just need food and shelter and I should be able to afford that in most scenarios. I think…

> I also had a normal job + an hourly gig in the evenings + studying for a master degree. I'm not exactly sure what changed but I stopped caring about that race of needing to be productive 100% of the time. It's a fallacy, I think at some point I realised I'll be alright even if I lose everything, I just need food and shelter and I should be able to afford that in most scenarios. I think it had an ego component as well, at least for me, it was about being "successful" as external validation. As I matured I felt naturally more confortable with my situation and it passed ... I hope it will for you as well.

And once you come to that realisation, you can start living off some of those savings just to chill out and not be "productive". While in reality that's probably what you need.

Worst case scenario for the OP is probably finding another gig in a few weeks.

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#62

Post by dr_dshiv »

We live in a world with over 100 billion galaxies, each with over 100 billion stars. Life is billions of years old and billions of humans have lived before us. We live in an extremely well-off time, relatively speaking. Anxiety is a powerful emotion developed primarily for much less secure circumstances (eg, past few million years). It may be helpful to know that anxiety is natural, common and beneficial— but also that it is a self-inflicted trick of the ego. There are many systematic self development techniques for achieving positive emotions. I find it helpful to accept where I am (“I am good. I am worthy”) and to accept my desire for more (“I know what I want and I know I am worthy of it”). I try to experience pleasure in the anticipation of getting what I want (rather than feeling anxiety in not having what I want). It is hard to trust— but, learning to trust — that is itself the work!

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#63

Post by badpun »

I am/was similar. My solution was to earn enough money to for "lean FIRE". Since I got to that level, my motivation for the grind and tolerance of job-induced bullshit started rapidly declining. Currently, I do not work, but am still productive - I improve my cooking skills (saves money on eating out) or do some hobby with hopes of creating a small income stream off it. This is so much healther than doing more grind in tech so that I can add another $100k to my stash. In the end, my money may run out before I die and I'll end up poor at 80 yo, but that is such a distant and uncertain scenario that doing something I hate (I've grown to mostly have coding jobs) for the sake of protecting against it is just not worth it.

The key here is learning to enjoy living relatively frugally, if you haven't already. If you like living large, you'll be slave to tech jobs for a long time.

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#64

Post by systemvoltage »

retcon wrote: post #14

Go running. Then read Shoe Dog by Phil Knight and go running again. If you have gotten unfit the book will have you laughing with the guy at all he had thrown at him and then you'll find that you get over yourself the next run you take. Any other books that people know about this positive? I've been totally kicked up my rear by Knight's book, in the best possible way.

Shoe Dog changed my life completely. It is the most inspiring book I’ve ever come across. Contrarily, I want to get off of HN. It’s full of depressing malaise and never about qualities of life that I want to pursue: hard work, perseverance and persistence. HN sometimes feel like I’m browsing r/antiwork.

Phil Knight’s thrust in life and the way he constantly ratcheted himself through tough times is vividly captured in Shoe Dog. Highly recommend it.

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#65

Post by CipherThrowaway »

lofties wrote: post #24
rockbruno wrote: post #13

>I feel like we are destroying our planet, destroying our economy, we make poor people poorer, stir political extremes, we alienate the younger generation with social medias, there is war in Europe, everything is about politics when it should be about science and people... I think my opinion is unpopular, but it shouldn't be, and perhaps the fact that it's unpopular is part of the reason why so many people find thems…

Your opinion might be unpopular but it shouldn't be. I'm quite well off, have friends, an overall good life, but at the same time was a miserable sack of shit. Until I talked to a therapist. Initially we spoke every week, now I talk to her about once a month. We talk about everything. What bothers me at work. What bothers me in the world. Things that are going well. Things that are unfair. And she's an impartial advi…

>If we break our bones we visit a doctor. If our teeth hurt we visit a dentist.

Depends on your health insurance, financial standing and free time. If you're an affluent tech worker you probably would go to a dentist for a toothache. Most people I know would not.

I wouldn't compare mental health to broken bones. We've been successfully treating broken bones for thousands of years. Seeking treatment for depression or generalized anxiety is more similar to seeing a doctor for some poorly understood malady like ME/CFS or IBS. No one really understands what's going on or why. You might try some medication or treatment and it might work, do nothing or make things worse.

It's worth a try but it's not a silver bullet. If your life sucks and your future prospects are bad then therapy is really just helping you cope.

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#66

Post by MarquesMa »

It says that "Nintendo" or "任天堂" the brand name refers to an old Chinese saying "謀事在人，成事在天" which means "Man proposes, God disposes", or "do your best and leave it to the fate".

The idea is not far from the stoic ones - try your best and stop worrying. It's like an idea from this classic debate on TDD [0]: Unit tests make you confident. You write it, you forget it. It makes you sleep at night.

In my first few years of my career, I was constantly and unconsciously thinking about the code, the business requirement, the team, even outside the working hours. That stressed and drained me a lot. In the end I realized I shouldn't have done that. If I am to worry about those things, I just book myself a calendar and go over those things within the time-box. If I need more time, I book another time block for the next day - as simple as that.

Now write that "unit test", forget it, and sleep well at night.

If you really need to worry about them, you should have a "quarterly/monthly worrying day" to reflect about your life, your career, strategies and all that. Outside that day, you just live your happy life.

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9quxZsLcfo

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#67

Post by mullikine »

Work life can pull you away from discovering yourself - that's like trying to move through life on an unsound foundation - very anxiety inducing.

It won't slow down. The future is an imaginary reality based on artificial souls and imagination. You don't want to go through life being blown about in the wind you need to discover your base-truth; To not be tricked into thinking you are less than these things.

Luke 9:58 - Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

https://mullikine.github.io/posts/the-tapestry-of-truth/

External so-called truth is the issue. Anxiety is caused by being manipulated and being blown about without rest, I believe.

Consensus truth, pragmatic truth, coherence truth (or incoherence truth: Justin Trudeau), constructivist truth - these truths do not take into consideration what is your personal truth.

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#68

Post by [deleted] »

rhizome31 wrote: post #50

By working harder and harder for the digital economy you are actively contributing the problems you've listed. Stacking up piles of money is the last thing you should do if you care about pollution, war and digital alienation. Take a look at game theory and the prisoner dilemma if you haven't already. The "me first" mentality is killing us. The textbook example is gun ownership. You may feel personally safer by ownin…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: In these uncertain times, how do you handle anxiousness

#70

Post by smeej »

testmasterflex wrote: post #51

Find a partner that isn’t neurotic and then have kids so you have something more important and real to focus on.

Have to disagree here. Bringing kids into a situation where one parent is struggling in hopes that the presence of the child will fix it isn't fair to the child.

Source: My parents had me so I could fix them.

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